she's 24 years old and I'm 18 years old. She is the cutest, the kindest and the most gorgeous girl I've ever met.
she just finished college, I'm starting college next monday, we've been living together for about two weeks (dating 6 months) but I just don't feel like getting married, I feel like I need more time, I only want to marry once and for the right reasons. What do I do?
2006-08-17 10:16:09 · 17 answers · asked by socalledchema 1 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
If you want to marry only once, and for the right reasons - you need to tell her that and if she doesn't understand - you need to run fast and hard. You do NOT need to be getting married before you get out of college. What you want, what is important to you...will change SO much over the next 5-10 years. I'm not saying you have to wait that long, but I have to wonder why is she in such a big hurry??
She'll still be cute, kind and gorgeous AFTER you're out of college. If she really loves you and isn't just looking for a husband, she won't have any problem waiting on you or understanding your need to wait.
I'd also suggest you have your own place. You were dating, now you're living together, then she proposes....I'm worried the next step will be, "Oh look babe, the EPT test says YES!" She is moving way too fast and she may need to do it without you. At 18, you think you'll never find another one like her....put that thought out of your head. If she's so wonderful and she's really in love with YOU - and not just the thought of marriage - she'll stick around until you are ready to propose to her.
2006-08-17 20:06:23 · answer #1 · answered by browneyedgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you had to ask what should you do, should tell you that you are not ready, and that you are unsure of your feelings.
Trust your intuition. Do not let yourself be "led" by others. You will only regret it.
You are waaaaaay too young to consider marriage. She has already accomplished so much more than you, and you wil end up resenting her for it.
Chances are, she is intimidated around other guys her own age, and she feels like she is superior to you because she is older and has done more with her life.
That's not saying anything bad about you, it's just that you have not been alive long enough to experience what she already has.
Tell her you are not ready, and you want to wait until you feel like you have more to offer her. You should not have to get married to prove your love to anyone. And if she can't accept that, ask her this "Would YOU want a husband who went with you because he didn't know any better? Or would you rather have a husband who worked hard to acheive goals to build himself up so he could bring something to the marriage.....and seen whatever else is out there, and STILL PICKED YOU?"
Be careful to always use a condom and don't get her pregnant. Some girls try to trap a guy into marriage with "oops! we're pregnant!".
Wait until you have done something with your life that would give you the ability to stand on your own two feet. This girl needs someone to take care of and depend on her. If you fall for it, it will eventually feel like she cut your balls off.....
2006-08-17 10:31:03 · answer #2 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you want to get your education done first. That's great! Get your education done first and get a career. Get things done first and then get married. You wouldn't want a marriage to get in the way while your in college. If you're not ready, then don't push it. Marriage is a big thing. Wait longer and find out if she is really the one for you for sure. Say that you're not ready because you want to finish college and get a career. Say that you want to marry for the right reasons and be sure of it before actually doing it.
2006-08-17 11:14:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even for people who are way older than you marriage is a tricky thing. I think you're very wise and you know that it's not good for you at the moment so don't do it. Experience life as it is now and when you are really ready to get married (either with her or with another girl) you will now it's the right moment. Good luck with your education!
2006-08-17 13:01:02 · answer #4 · answered by chocolatebunny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say NO.
You are 18 years old, and just out of school. You need to commit yourself to an education at this time. If you get married you will go out and find a job to pay your billls and you will not return to school.
Explain to her that you love her. And in order to give her and possibly your future children the things in life they will need, you need to have an education in order to get ahead.
Education comes first, if she loves you she'll understand.
2006-08-17 10:37:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
evaluate what she actually loves the most, what conjures up her the most, besides you (lol), and plan it upon that. as an get at the same time: if she loves the sea or sunsets or if she loves plant existence or if she truly loves her relatives, and so on what ever it truly is that she is maximum stimulated by technique of and loves the most in her existence ~ i'd say you may want to apply. enable's say she loves teddy bears, you've gotten human beings at a resturant at hand her lovable fluffy teady bears consistantly all evening till you recommend with a submit to wearing a hoop. Or, if she grow to be stimulated by technique of valentines day ~ you may want to bombard her with all problems with valentines - hearts and violins and and so on...
2016-11-25 22:59:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel. Don't worry about the "hurting her feelings". If she truly cares and loves you she'll understand and wait.
Maybe living together isn't the best idea either. Live seperately and develope the relationship.
2006-08-17 10:22:47 · answer #7 · answered by okiemom67 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Listen to the first two young ladies who answered they are talking sense and they can see it from the female perspective.
2006-08-17 10:23:53 · answer #8 · answered by bob kerr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
RUN FAR, FAR AWAY,
take it from a married man, I know what I am talking about.
2006-08-17 10:22:01 · answer #9 · answered by Jon P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're both too young. If she's that persistent, you should take that as a troubling sign.
2006-08-17 10:22:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋