Id your man of 4 years keeps cheating on you, would you stay with him. And if you had his child?

Question

He says that when he gets mad he does stupid things, and get mixed emotions. afterwards he realizes he messed up and gets angry at himself.

Answer 1

Sounds like a good solid excuse to me lol. Ok, sorry. Um.. You should have left him the first time he cheated. Or the second time. If he loved you he wouldn't do it. "Through thick and thin" He has a responsibility to be loyal to you at all times, not just the good times. Everyone goes through hard times, it's not an excuse to go out and cheat. Not a good one anyways. Not an excuse anyone should actually buy into...

Answer 2

I did the whole "man is cheating on, should i stay" thing for 8 years. Nothing changed at all- he cheated, got mad at himself and i forgave him time after time. I say after the second time you forgave him he felt that he could keep doing it.

Dont stay, you would be doing you and your child a favor by moving on! Less headaches, issues and problems! A guy will say just about anything to keep you around, so dont listen to his sob stories- you know right from wrong and cant be told different.

I had a son by the man who was cheating on me. He even had a baby with someone else before I realized how important I was and that i deserved MUCH better than that.

And also, dont let anyone tell you that if you have a kid that no one else will want you- there are PLENTY of guys out there who date single mothers and love them and take care of them as well.

You deserve the world and by gosh you should have a man who believes the same and wants the same for you!

Bottom line is that it is your relationship. If you are going to put your health at risk, your mental stabilty at risk and your heart at risk, then by all means stay. but if you want to grow, find yourself a new man, or no man at all!

Take care- hope that info helped!

Answer 3

Get out of the relationship asap. He is using you and you taking him back is indirectly saying to him- go ahead and cheat around, disrespect me and dont give a damn because i'm just going to forgive you like i have done for the last 4 years.

And i say leave even more so BECAUSE you have a child. It's one thing to let yourself take this but that is no relationship a child should grow up watching because the same cycle will happen to them when they grow up because they will think this is normal. If you can please find the strength to leave because you and your child deserve better. He's a grown man- "getting mad" doesnt give him the excuse to do this, infact thats lame

Answer 4

You've used "keep cheating", thus I would assume that he has cheated on you multiple times. What is the reason of him dating another woman? Is he not satisfied with you emotionally, sexually, etc?? You'll need to figure out the root of the problem first and then hunt for solutions. What is the reason for his madness? Is there something which is bothering him and he doesn't feel that you can understand/help him through it? It is not very uncommon for a man to do stupid things out of anger and then realize it later. If you wish to make this relationship work, you'll need to understand his needs better and 'listen' to him. You'll learn a lot about him when you listen him with an open heart.

If you've tried all the tactics and if they don't seem to work, you'll have to choose your option out.

Answer 5

Once a cheat always a cheat. Don't buy into that crap that he is mad at himself so you feel bad for him. He is a player and he is playing you good. I don't even know you but I know you deserve better than that. Get out!!!! Better yet KICK HIM OUT! If you are not happy your child can sense that and will not be happy. If your child sees how you are being treated the child will repeat that behavior because he or she will think that is how life is. Don't let your child grow up that way. If not for you Get out for your child! Good luck.

Answer 6

Sometimes people are messed up in life.
they have unsolved issues with themselves and with others because of which they are never stable.
They do things which later they regret doing.
Sometimes they cant make sense out of the things they did and they feel stupid and sorry!
u need to help him sort his life out, or get him to sort his life out with a counsellor.
dealing with such a person would mean bringing yourself stress and trouble.. but that doesnt mean u have to leave him.
if u love him dearly and feel it will work out, talk it over with a counsellor.
remember a relationship will only work when both parties, from the bottom of their heart - WANT IT TO WORK..
the base of your relationship should be unconditional love, and nothing else... not even convenience.
I know there is not much of trust... but u can build trust.. and remember, incase u continue with this relationship and u find him improving, give him the reward for it. Give him the love. dont yourself break the trust, just cause he did it to you before, so u can do it to him now.
But if it all feels too much for u to handle, talk to him, get him some help, and leave.
Good luck

Answer 7

i can understand that that msut be really hard for you because i know you love him but even if i had that mans child i would have left him after the first time. it looks like the excuse hes using has worked more than once. honestly you should get the hell out of there and take your kid. tell him " what was better? the hoes he slept with or his family: the ones that really love him. move out for a while..... i honestly would never want to touch him again. mix- emotion that mother ******! im very to sorry to hear this but be strong you can do it.

Answer 8

I have 2 kids with one person and had a 4 year marriage to boot. Toward the end of our marriage he started to cheat on me and made me feel really badly about wanting a divorce. Eventually i realized that it wasnt my fault and got divorced and i have been happier ever since.

If you get divorced and want sole custody of your children you need to start documenting EVERYTHING now. Get a pad of paper and write down everything with dates and times that is relevent to your child.
Go to best buy and buy yourself a voice recorder (60 bucks) and record your phone calls with him. That way you can remember what was said exactly and if he happens to say something incriminating you can use his own voice against him in court.
You also want to get yourself a camera that records the date on pictures and use that whenever needed. Like if you try to see your child for a birthday and he refuses you and you have to just leave the presents on the doorstep 2 weeks after the birthdate you can take a picture of it and use it in court as well.

You want to be able to tell the judge "on August 17th 2006 at 7pm he came and took my son and when i called him he told me on the phone that i didnt deserve my son blah blah blah and i have that conversation on tape."
You dont want to sound like this: "well, i think sometime in august he told me that i didnt deserve my son blah blah blah."

Answer 9

We all get mad but that doesn't give an excuse to cheat. Sorry hun, he's not going to quit or he would have the first time he "realized he messed up". Kick him to the curb. You and your baby are better off.

Answer 10

I think I'd want to separate from him for a while. I'd tell him to get counselling & sort his problem out, and that I'd take him back if he could be faithful.
If he gets mad & does stupid things, and gets mixed emotions ... Well it sounds like he needs to sort himself out. Tell him you and your child deserve a man committed to his lady and his family.