I'm 19 years old and me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years. Adults always tell me that we probably wont last because one day we're going to say that we havent experienced enough. it upsets me because we are very close and have a great relationship and i want to feel like that doesnt have to be the case with us. we havent had sex yet and i feel like that could have a big factor in how it goes. i know it will bring us closer but im worried it will also start making us curious about other people. what should i do!?!
2006-08-17 09:39:39 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I suggest you take "adults" opinions like a grain of salt, but understand that there is some heavy truth in it.
I commend you so much on the fact that you haven't had sex yet. You're one of few that decide to hold on to something so precious that could never be taken back.
I think if you two are still together, without the sex, you have more of a chance to last forever than most people. Why? Because your relationship is pure and the foundation is not ALL physical.
I think you should just do what you're doing and who knows? You're young, things will work out on their own, and listen to advice, always... but sift it and you'll see which ones apply and which don't.
2006-08-17 09:52:03 · answer #1 · answered by ControVerse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure there are some examples of people who are in a successful long-term relationships even without having the "experience". But it also seems likely that at least at some point one of you, or both, would "wonder" about what is it that you "missed out" on by only being with one person. There's a lot to be said for having had the experience of different relationships - it teaches one a whole lot about oneself and about life; it's interesting and enriching; it can be thrilling and fun. But it's not the *only* source of learning, and not the *only* source of fun. If you and your significant other both feel comfortable making a committment without having the benefit of "experience" - you shouldn't feel bad about it. But if you or your partner are experiencing doubts because of this - it will probably become an increasing source of stress in the future. Bottom line, it's up to you; you're young, and don't have to rush into anything. Take your time, it's only the beginning.
2006-08-17 10:14:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you are ready. They say it doesn't work because forever is a very, very long way from 19. There is so much life out there that you haven't experienced yet and don't even know exists. They know that at 19 you aren't who you will be when you are older and often times when you start to figure that out you find that your high school sweetheart isn't compatible anymore. You've heard hundreds of people say they grew apart, thats what they mean, they grew up and when they did it no longer worked. Marriage is about sooooooo much more than a high school bf is. Its hard to explain but just trust that there are things you just don't know yet. I know you want to feel like that doesn't have to be the case with you but the reality is that unless neither one of you is planning on growing up, finding careers and figuring out what you want out of life it will happen. It could happen that when you grow up you both want the same things, but maybe not. There are about a million other things that can go wrong too, not just other people. One more thing to think about, if you have never experienced anything else how do you know that this is really what you want? Eventually you will wonder if there is more out there. If you have only ever eaten beef how do you know whether you like pork or not? Sooner or later one of you will want to try it. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders though and seem to be doing everything right so far. Only time will tell, but don't compromise your beliefs or yourself because you are trying to manipulate the future, it just doesn't work that way. Good luck!
2006-08-17 10:04:27 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That´s not necessarily true, I know of people who have married their first boyfriends and are still together! It may be rare nowadays but it does happen. If anything, it´s better to end up with your first as you can´t have jealousy regarding previous relationships. Jealousy between a couple can really cause a lot of pain.
2006-08-17 09:46:57 · answer #4 · answered by Double 709 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Experience makes a relationship better when people have been through relationships previously. Each relationship teaches you something that molds you into who you are and who you become which is why some experience is good.
2006-08-17 09:44:30 · answer #5 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because when they first get into a relationship, they dont really know what they want or what they are trully looking for in a relationship. Sometimes it take a failed serious relationship to tell them what they want out of one.
2006-08-17 09:47:53 · answer #6 · answered by theelementgod 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not true at all! my fiance im marrying next april the best thing has ever happened to me, hes my first bf and im his first gf, i dated him since i was 15 years old and still strong. also be sure you have protection girl, dont worry about other people think, i dont!
2006-08-17 10:05:54 · answer #7 · answered by Newlywed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOT TRUE MY MAN AND I BEEN TOGETHER FOR 12YEARS AND WE STILL LOVE EACH OTHER DEEPLY. WE DIDN'T HAVE MUCH EXPERIENCE WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND WE DON'T WANT TO WE HAVE WHAT WE WANT WITH EACH OTHER. SO DON'T WORRY AND JUST LOVE EACH OTHER
2006-08-17 09:47:54 · answer #8 · answered by HONEY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
experience make things perfect
2006-08-20 21:28:11 · answer #9 · answered by yogesh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋