Financial stability before a wedding?

Question

I've heard a lot about men wanting to be financially stable before marrying a woman. I live with my fiance and our wedding date is 5/5/07. We have come to the conclusion that our financial situation is not going to change one iota between the day before we get married and the day after (unless we get a LOT of money from friends and family at the wedding), I'm curious to see what others think. If you already live with someone and share everything fifty- fifty (both names on the lease, bills etc), is being 'financially stable' before you get married really that big of a deal?

Answer 1

I look at it as this - You two are already playing house and sharing everything. What is going to change with having a legal certificate and living a married life and living together without a license? Nothing at all - you are financially ok when you are paying all your bills and making decisions about your life together. A certificate is not going to change it a bit.

Answer 2

Considering the outlay of money that goes into a wedding (even a small one can run a few thousand dollars), and the stress that goes into planning one, being financially stable before getting married, IMHO, helps. Because suddenly you have the "expendable income" to be able to have the wedding you want, instead of having to skimp because you can't afford it.

Add to that the fact that money is one of the top things that married couples argue about - going into it with a ready-made argument IMHO isn't worth it.

We got engaged in 2001, and are getting married next month, because of this exact reason - we were both in the computer field when "the tech bubble burst" and were more interested in spending the money on things like car payments, rent, food, etc. than on a wedding.

Now that we've both been steadily employed for the past couple of years, we have built up enough "extra money" that we can afford to have pretty much the wedding we want. (I'm 35, he's 44, there's no way I'm asking my mother to pay for my wedding - I'm an adult.)

Answer 3

I live with my boyfriend and we share finances and bill pay and such. We plan to announce our engagement in a couple of months and have decided that we will save as much as possible between now and our proposed wedding date, and plan the wedding within the bounds of our savings (including any monetary gifts we receive from family) so that it does not impact our usual finances. We are both in school, working jobs that pay the bills and allow us the flexible schedules that are essential to our completing our degrees in a timely manner, but are by no means careers. So our finances are not exactly "stable" in the typical sense of the word... but it works for us! We can easily pay our bills and have a little left over..We'll be in the exact same situation post-marriage as far as we know, and we see no reason to wait until we're settled into permanent jobs and "financially stable" before marrying.

Answer 4

In this context, I believe financial stability is being able to afford housing, food, utilities, transportation and clothing. Housing, I would think, should be upgrading to owned vs rented at the time of or soon after marriage.

It also means, to me, that the couple can afford the wedding expenses be it through savings etc, and still adequately pay all other bills. If the couple is unable to afford the wedding without going into debt, then either the wedding should be scaled back, more time is needed to gain better employment, or a combination of both.

Answer 5

What does "financial stability" mean to both of you? For example, if you're both young, and are just beginning your careers, it would be totally great to get married and work on your "stability" together. The most important thing, I think, is to be realistic about your financial goals, and be on the same page. If your idea of stability is a good-size house, a vacation every year, and sending two kids through college - and for your husband, it's making more than a minimum payment on his credit card bill every month - this isn't gonna be a happy marriage! So, just try to make sure both of you share a similar vision of the future, and that there are realistic opportunities of achieving it.

Answer 6

I work with doctors, who have one of the most high-paying careers....believe me when I say this....they arent even financially stable. What matters the most is how you manage your money. This can be the biggest issue in a marriage, if you allow it to be. I am married, with one child, and we have always been financially "comfortable"...we share all the bills, and are both on the lease.

Answer 7

One of the biggest marriage killers are finances. Most people want to be financially stable before getting married because they don't want to go into a marriage with alot of debt. Most people want to have most their bills paid off so that is less stress on both parties.
In your case, I am not sure what difference it will make if you and your fiance are already living together and have both names on leases and bills.

Answer 8

I am not living with anyone or sharing bills, nor am I a man, but I do think it's important to be financially stable when entering marriage. I understand that once we get married, it will not always be that way, but I want to start out on an even ground. I have a lot of student loans, my bf has a little. I want to pay off as much as I can before we get married. I don't want them to become his responsibility. When I do get married, I want to be able to get a house, have nice things. I don't want to be worried about taking care of my college bills. He shouldn't have to worry about them either.

Answer 9

Yes, and you will see once you get married. You need to be financially stable in order for a marriage to work. If your fighting and arguing over money, your destroying the fabric of your marriage and when that is destroyed you can have all type of conduct interfering the marriage that can lead to a divorce.

Many if they can't get peace in the home will find it out of the home do you know what I mean.

You should be able to afford every thing you need in life and I say need versus want. Say you have kids, you have to be in a position to plan for their future.

How can you focus on the marriage when your saddled with bills and financial problems. You will begin to pay more attention to the financial problems instead of spending healthy quality time with your mate.

In order to have a successful marriage, all the dots got to connect and if one is missing, your marriage is going to fall apart.

Answer 10

Being financially stable is just an excuse people use to remain single as long as possible. Lets face it if your already with someone how is anything going to change that wouldn't change eventually regardless of if your married or not? Getting married doesn't suddenly mean your unable to work or get ahead in life. In fact if anything it encourages you to try harder. Plus being married can even help you move forward in a lot of positions as many employers, even though they aren't supposed to, are more generous with raises and promotions when they know someone has a family to take care of.