I am 18yrs old and my partner is 31. He has 2 kids and and we leave together. I know him for 3 years but we started going out about 4 months ago. We stared leaving together about 2 months ago. The only thing we fight about is when he drinks and i dont like that. we will get marry by december but its to much for me becaus of his kids and his ex wife. dont get me wrong i like his kids but the problem is that the lady puts the kids against me and the act mean to me everytime they come around.should i marry him? what should i do?
2006-08-17 08:56:24 · 19 answers · asked by chelita 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're so young and have so much life ahead of you. You're not happy in your relationship - you're settling. Its convenient for you to have someone move you into their home and say they want to marry you. Drinking is a major issue - even if it is "the only thing you fight about". Think about your wants and needs before all else. Do you want to have to deal with his ex-wife and children who don't like you for the rest of your life? Probably not.
You know what you should do - this is not the right situation for you to be in. Move out and move on with your life - it may hurt for a while, but you'll be much better off.
2006-08-17 09:30:26 · answer #1 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only 18 and have a world of men to choose from, why would you want to start married life with all this baggage?? You don't need a drinker with kids and his ex wife to deal with.
For Pete's sake find a guy that has never been married and have a family when you are older and both of you are ready for the responsibility.
2006-08-17 16:23:13 · answer #2 · answered by Maria b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say run as fast as you can in the other direction. He's got a lot of things going against him.Age, kids,booze....you are a young woman, why would you want to get involved in all that? Also, it's way too soon to think about marriage after dating for 4 months.Please rethink the whole thing.
2006-08-17 16:06:16 · answer #3 · answered by Geronimo5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too young to get stuck with some old guy with a drinking problem and his kids. Don't settle for this life. You deserve much, much better. Keep your standards high. Look for a guy who's young and single, with no baggage. There are literally millions of guys out there and I have never believed in the theory that there is only one person we are meant to be with. I believe that there are numerous people who our personalities are a good match for that we can fall in love with. You need to keep your standards high. You deserve so much better but you won't be available when a better guy comes along if you let yourself get roped into this dysfunctional situation.
2006-08-17 16:13:14 · answer #4 · answered by CleverGal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly - either you leave him now, let yourself grow up a bit, and then find a "real" relationship; or, get married, probably have a baby, THEN grow up and divorce him. The way you describe it, the relationship is doomed either way, the question is - do you want to get it over now, and move on, or do it in a year or two. (It doesn't have much to do with the age difference per say, IMO - but it does sound like both of you are fairly immature.)
2006-08-17 16:09:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the bigger woman. The Ex is jealous because he has moved on and it shows that she hasn't by her spitefulness. Get together with your man and his kids and have him establish your role in the family. Justifying their having to listen to you when you tell them something. Also he must be stern about punishments for them doing something his spiteful Ex may have got them to do. As for his drinking ask him to just chill out some days with it, and that your not trying to run his life, but just explain what things get out of hand when he does and it would help if he would at least slack off.
2006-08-17 16:13:32 · answer #6 · answered by mrpuffandstuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask complete strangers the answer should probably be no. Just think of how your life is going to be if you do stay with him and if you can deal with his kids not liking you, if not then don't do it. If you get married then your stuck with them. You should at least wait another year, if your having second thoughts now then the wedding should definately be pushed back.
2006-08-17 16:16:23 · answer #7 · answered by Dragonfly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
am with redruby on this one. if you marry him that means you are marrying the whole family including the ex wife because they are already a family. if you have no kids with him, this is the best time to get out.
2006-08-17 16:07:58 · answer #8 · answered by DERECK A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say as an 18 year old that you may not want to put yourself into a resposnsibility like that yet. If your having issues now, they only get worse when you get married..... be careful, If you hoenstly think your ready for that sort of committment you ned to think hard about it.
2006-08-17 17:37:46 · answer #9 · answered by brkeng 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are to young for that guy, find you a younger non alcoholic drunk. The wife and kids are always going to be there. You marry him, your marrying all of them. Sorry .
Good Luck.
2006-08-17 16:02:11 · answer #10 · answered by redruby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋