im 18, should i get married???

Question

well let me tell u...ive been in this relationship 4 about 3 months...our chemistry and attraction 4 eachother is amazing! i really do feel like hes the one! everything is so different wit him then its been with neother guy...i want to marry him...but im still in high school...and still living with mom and dad. hes 21 and can support me...its up to me though. he cares about me enough to let me finish school and make something of myself! he makes me feel really good. i can hardly go a day without seeing him...i really really do love him. should i follow my heart and commit to him already??? or should i wait til' i know 4 sure...and have my life together?

Answer 1

No, you're young and your feelings will change and you'll both want other things later on. Enjoy what you have now. Grow up and live a little first, go to college, experience new and different things. You may feel totally differently about each other in a few months. Three months isn't really enough time to know someone really well. I think you're too young and inexperienced to really know what love is. I'm not putting you down, just being realistic.

Answer 2

I don't think it would be a good reason. Between now and 23-25 area, you are going to go through a lot of changes with yourself, all based on your personality. You are just starting to discover who YOU are.
My older sister met a guy at college when she was 18, and after they graduated (same time), they got married. They lasted about 1 year after that because during and after college, they both changed, which was natural. They became who they are probably going to be for the rest of their lives, and they weren't compatible any more. They ended up getting a divorce.
My wife and I married when I was 21, and she was 23, and we had met 1.5 years before. We've been able to hold our marriage together, but we've had a very hard time with it because our personalities are still forming and we're becoming who we're going to be for the rest of our lives. Luckily we've been able to cope with the changes, but we also know we are in a very small minority of people our age that can do that. It's a constant job to just make sure we're working well.

I think you should wait. He's ok waiting until you finish school, and I bet if he does this, he won't be there when you finish because you'll be a different person, and so will he.

Answer 3

80 years...
Are you ready to tie yourself to this person for that long?
Have you lived enough yet to get the freedom bug out of your system?
The problem with getting married so young is people change so much over their lives, in 10-20 years this guy could be a completely different person than you fell in love with. Possibly someone you don't like, and you will have changed a lot too.
People either grow together or grow apart as time goes on.
The key to a successful relationship is communication, compromise, and patience - things younger folks haven't usually developed to the point of competence.
Please avoid sugar coating the situation, and take a hard look at how likely it is that the two of you will be able to make the long haul.
My intuition is NO, you shouldn't get married. Most people are not adequately prepared until 27-30 years old.

Answer 4

Well, I got married 3 weeks ago (I'm 20), and I had been dating my husband for 3 1/2 years. I think you should date your boyfriend longer, because at first the relationship is going to be great. But the longer you date, the better you'll grow with eachother. It is almost guaranteed that you and him will have arguments and fights and such, but how both of you resolve the fights will help you determine if he is truly the right one for you. Fights are not always bad-they help you grow in eachother, and they help you learn from eachother. One thing I had to learn early on was to no focus on arguing over the small things. I knew that I wanted to marry him only a few months after dating, but it is important that you wait at least a year. It will seem to take forever, but trust me, it is worth it to wait and see how both of you will treat eachother after being together for long periods of time. When your married-it's no longer just you anymore, it's two of you, and you have to ajust to working together and living together. It's not bad-you just lose your independence, and have to consider your husband in many things. Try to make sure you're ready first!

Answer 5

let me tell you from experience.

not to sound rude and i know you hear this a lot but i wish i would have listened. your to young.

you have many more years of change within your self and so does he. good and sometimes bad. you maybe attracted to him right now but a few years later your values, thoughts, ideas, feeling might change.

its best to wait. if in another 2 or 3 years you two are still together and you want to get married that's fine. at least by then hopefully both of you will have a good job and are a little more ahead in life then you are now.

its very healthy for a relationship to have a better foot in on life. take time to get to know one another fully before jumping into something permanent that you might just regret later.

i know i wish i would have. luckily in my situation i was only engaged to be married when my ex decided to walk into another girls arms. i was blind and headstrong. i didn't even know i was in an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship until i got counseling to help me deal and yes i did love him very much but it wasn't worth it in the end.

take care hun and i hope you make the right decision. im not saying what im telling you is the right way or not. its ultimately your choose. im just letting you know my story. :)

Answer 6

How many boyfriends have you had before him?

Given that you are still in high school, I am guessing that
he is perhaps your first, second or third serious boyfriend.

If that is so, no, I would suggest that you wait until you've
had some time outside of your parents house.

This is the time in your life when you learn what you are
capable of, "how to fly" as it were. Just going from your
parents to him won't really do that for you.

Have you considered colleges?

Being madly in love with your boyfriend is great - and if you
feel the same way in a couple of years from now, call me
an idiot and get married - however, get some perspective
before you jump in now.

Answer 7

No, you have only known him for 3 month. Trust me, you really do not know him well enough to make such a commitment. Wail at least one year before you consider marriage. You will be able to make a smarter decision about this after you have graduated from high school and started your life. You will be rushing things if you commit to him know. The sign of maturity is being able to make decision using careful though and consideration. There is so much more to marriage that sex and love. Please talk to your mother about this.

Answer 8

I say wait, and find out what he's like if.........IF you were to live with him, because people are different at their own home, so think about it, and be sure, only you can decide, and one more thing, the money thing, is an issue and an important factor for any relationship, it seems like it doesn't but in order to have all the bills paid on time, and a little time to go out, money is needed! Good luck!

Answer 9

WAIT!!!

1--you don't want a husband that can't support a family
2--you BOTH will not be the same person when you're 28 and 31. people change SOO much in their 20's.
3--the divorce rate is higher if you don't wait

let him establish himself as a productive part of society...and let YOU establish yourself outside of mom & dads house.

before getting married you should date someone at least 2 years and then wait another year after getting engaged. ...and don't have kids for another couple of years.

marriage is HARD. you have to work at it everyday. you just don't realize how hard.

please wait...for you, for him and for your future children. if he is THE one then he will still be with you in 10 years regardless and then you'll KNOW that you're marriage has an excellent chance of surviving.

Answer 10

dont marry him yet. if he really loves you, hell wait. ive been engaged for almost a year, and we havent even talked about when or where were getting married yet. get engaged, see if it works out. wait till your close to 20 or more. you could come across something better, or anything could happen between you 2. 3 months is not long enough to know if you want to spend 60 years with someone. ive been with tim for 2 years, and i still dont know. give it time. dont throw your life away on infatuation. make sure it is real constant love first.