I have bipolar and I am married to a drunk that loves to call me names in front of my children.?

Question

I am married to a man that calls me a retard,bipolar *****,worthless and thats just a few.I have been married to this man 14 years.I have stayed with him through his drug addiction.I ot him help.But now he comes home every night drunk.He call my 15 year old daughter real bad names.I have bipolar and post tramitic stress disorder.For 14 tears I have been a good wife.I am unable to work due to my illness.I have been trying to get on my meds and work on getting better.I have 5 children who listen to their father call me a *****.He always threatins to beat my head in.He dont hit me.But I think I would rather him hit me than abuse my minde.I have gotten to the point where I hate him.But I am affraid to be alone.But I know I could control the bipolar much better with out being called stupid.He wont even help me get my meds.He says he cant afford it.But he can afford to smoke pot and get drunk everyday.Thank God my mother helps buy my meds.i am affraid he is going to push me over the edge.

Answer 1

ummm, something in common P.T.S.D and Bipolar and a husband that drinks! Welcome to your's and mine's club! After 14 years I don't think I'd take it any more! I am only going on our 5th anniversary and he is imporving a lot! But he wouldn't have if I had not left him numerous times! I've bought three divorce packet and I have kicked him out at least a dozen times, I have left at least three times, he is now a different person a better person but only b/c I couldn't take it anymore and if he wants to be with me then he had to change. Put your foot down - don't take this and your children don't have to either! He will push you over the edge and you will allow it to happen by not ending this, you don't have to end it forever just take a break, you and your nerves deserve it! What is his problem a husband is supposed to be supportive through sickness and in health you say he doesn't help buy your meds. and verbally abuses you, get out! A husband is also supoosed to be understanding especially when it comes to disorders mental ones at that! Tell him he must or your done! You won't be alone, you'll have your children, your mother and a hole bunch of new doors will open to you if you want them. Brand new visions and opportunities are yours! New real men await you! You won't be without a man for long bipolar's are loyal and loving, they try to have the best love lives they can, they are caring sometimes too much too often, have no worries if you want to leave him do it, fear not! it might be all that he needs to stop drinking and if not so be it, you'll be better off menatlly and physically without him anyway... Stick up for yourself and protect those children before you no longer can! Care for yourself first and not for the ones who mistreat you. If you get pushed over the edge then you are asking to because you know you are already close to the edge but yet you won't put the block wall up in order for that not to happen, listen to your gut and if that does happen he isn't going to give a damn he'll just wonder who's getting him his next beer. There is nothing wrong with saying no but there is something wrong with not wanting to be alone especailly after being treated like that; aloness would be all I would want for awhile. If he can not understand your disorders and work with you and not add to them then he's no longer for you.
Best of luck,
e-mail me anytime!
Sophia

Answer 2

I am leaving a similar situation right now. My husband was never physically violent and he never called me horrible things (to my face), but there was definatly abuse. I have just taken out a PPO on him because the week after I asked him to leave he sat outside my apartment watching me every night. I know that if he goes off the deep end he wouldn't beat me up-he'd kill me.
I have also filed for divorce because I finally got proof of his cheating.
This is the second time I've left him for abuse and it's the last. He was trying very hard to make me believe everything was in my mind. He tried to control everything I do. I refuse to live like that.
You have a disorder. I have a hard time believing that he isn't making it ten times harder for you to deal with that.
There is plenty of advice on line to help you, not to mention local crisis lines you can call reguarding the abuse. It is hard to change, but it would do you a world of good. I hope that you do something about this. You can't keep living the same way expectiing things to change because that won't happen. There is help out there. There are options to every situation, but you have to be the one to take a stand. Once you're healthy enough you'll be able to move on and find someone better and then you won't have to be alone, but sometimes being alone and figuring things out is the best thing you can do for yourself AND for your children. If you don't then you will be miserable for a long time and there's a good chance that your children will have marriages like this.
If you ever want to talk feel free to e-mail me. I may be able to help somehow, even if I'm just a sounding board.
[e-mail]

Answer 3

My God this sound exactly like what I went through growing up! My Mom has bipolar personality disorder and my Dad drank ALL the time as well as slapped up my Mom, myself, my sister, and mentally abused us.

Thirty-two years later he left her for another woman and she still can't get over it. She's currently in a home for the mentally distraught (she tried living on her own but is way too needy and nearly burned the house down by her compulsive behavior so human services took her out and her home is now for sale) and has severe OCD to the point that she can't have a rational or logical conversation. She, too, talks about death and dying ALL the time. I have a 12 mo. old daughter and can't allow my daughter to see her own granddaughter because of the live experiences that she went through and what it is doing to her now.

You need to RUN......talk to a counselor, human services, the police, whomever.....take your five kids and go to a shelter. Even if you aren't a battered wife, you are an abused one. Your kids will someday thank you for it! Take care and God Bless!

Answer 4

You don't need to take that kind of abouse from a man like that. He's not even a man at all. Get yourself & the kids out of there as soon as you can. My thoughts & prayers are with you and the kids.

Answer 5

Read up on Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Check our Sam Vaknin's site on it, read the FAQ's.

Then, get out of that house ASAP. Your sanity depends on it.

Answer 6

Why can't you work with bi-polar disorder? Are you saying that you are not mentally and emotionally healthy enough to make change at 7-11, but are healthy enough to raise 5 children and mold their lives. GOD HELP OUR SOCIETY!!

Answer 7

To me it sounds like and abusive relationship that you should get out of and soon!!!

Answer 8

let the door nob hit him where the good lord splits him! you need to leave him and fast!