Its been 8 months since we had sex. I've tried everyting, wooing her, flowers, going out on dates, compliments. I'm not bad looking and have had a few offers from other women but turned them down. I really love my wife. Any ideas?
2006-08-17 07:51:33 · 6 answers · asked by ChopMar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be interested in her. Perhaps when the time is ready sex will happen. Somewhere along the live she stopped believing you that you loved her.
How can you change that?
Treat her like she is the most important thing in your life. Not sex is the most important but that She is.
Treat her even better than when you wanted her to say yes to marring you.
Don't be lazy. Or work very hard so that you can pay for 2 lawyers. One for you and one for her.
Get ready to sell all of your property and split the proceeds.
Go to counselling and if she won''t go, you still go.
Counselling is still cheaper than the two lawyers.
God Bless You, Pray a lot and never cheat.
2006-08-17 08:01:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ask yourself these questions: in the past eight months, has anything else changed? Her habits perhaps? How does she respond when you make these gestures? I personally don't believe a normal healthy person will willingly go without sex for eight months. My first approach would be to ask her because honestly there are three possible scenarios. One, she could suffer from some sort of clinical depression. Has she had a child recently? Two, she could have esteem issues and already think that you are conducting an affair. And three, I'd hate to be the bearer of potentially bad news, but perhaps your wife is seeking her thrills elsewhere. Whatever the case, you should seek some sort of professional outlet.
2006-08-17 08:03:38 · answer #2 · answered by Candilaria 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she's not interested for that long, she's probably cheating on you. I know from experience, my wife cheated on me and that's how I began to figure it out. If you don't have kids, get out now! Even if she stops, and everything is OK for a while, the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" is true. Listen to Tom Lykis on the radio for a dose of common sense. If she won't be up front and tell you what the problem is, she's keeping something from you, and you don't have a relationship worth saving.
2006-08-17 08:03:27 · answer #3 · answered by John 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well sorry to hear about your pain! Believe me when I say that I can understand! My husband has been with holding sex for 2.5 years, so I know where you are coming from when you say that you have tried everything, so I have too!
If you really and truly love your wife, you will stand by her no matter what, you will be patient and loving and let her know that no matter what you are always there for her if she wants to talk or cuddle or whatever! That you are her husband and that you will stand by her, with or without the sex! That is what I am doing and I hope that it works! Good luck and God bless!
2006-08-18 05:58:31 · answer #4 · answered by iLoveDawnDawn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your emotional bank account with her is bankrupt.
That took time. You need to reopen that account.
Life has a way of bringing everything down.
Often when women get down, they need a special spark to get their flame going again. Some thoughts:
1. No pressure. You push her, she pushes back. Instead, shine some light in your direction and try to lure her back.
2. Sometimes that special spark can be painful for the guy. Separation, dating other people and even drugs (Dx recommended) can do the trick.
3. She has many layers between you and her sexual person. It can take a lot of therapy (personal connection if you can't afford it) to break through.
4. Don't stop thinking like a guy, but stop acting like a jerk. You're a man & she's a woman...What would you do if she was a single woman & you were trying to woo her?
You mentioned flowers, compliments & other romantic stuff...which is fine when mystery about the other person abounds. Ain't no mystery about you is there?...
I bet there is tons of stuff that she doesn't know about you.
Do some introspection...spend a night talking about some event from your past that shaped who you are. Don't just recant it as fact...relive it moment for moment.
2006-08-17 08:16:10 · answer #5 · answered by hellsbells 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Have you done all those nice things without the end result of trying to have sex. They won't work if she thinks you are just doing them to get sex. She needs to feel you're doing them because you value her, the rest will follow. Take her out on a date, and don't try to initiate sex when you get home. This will work, she needs to fall in love again, everyone does at some point. Good Luck
2006-08-17 08:47:16 · answer #6 · answered by st pete rn 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I put the plan in motion and it didn't even take a week for things to turn around. She called me late last night and we talked for hours. She said she wants to be together with me again. I'm just thrilled right now. We're going out tonight and I feel strongly that we will get back together. Read more here:
2015-02-09 06:26:53 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you seem to have no idea why she doesn't want to have sex with you, I will make a wild guess and say you and she don't communicate as well as a married couple need to.
Talk to her honestly about your needs and desires and then "LISTEN" to hers. Seek professional help if this does not improve things.
2006-08-17 08:01:56 · answer #8 · answered by lunatic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sad to say, but maybe start ignoring her, or try the making her jealous route. clean yourself up, find some social events to go to (alone) and just get on with your life. One of two things will happen, 1) she'll realize why she fell in love with you the first time and all will be well or
2) you'll look great after working out/cleaning up and dressing nice, you'll have lots of friends and you will realize your wife is a shrew who doesn't deserve you and you'll move on...
We can never do anything about anyone else's behaviour, we can only choose our own way to react to it. I say enjoy life, with or without her. She'll either come along or drop out.. either way you'll be better off.
2006-08-17 07:58:39 · answer #9 · answered by mishel24 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First off there is a differance in "haveing sex" and being made love to.
There are alot of reasons a women stops. One is seems like alot of work for a few minutes of pleasure,hormone problems or afraid you did cheat and afraid of catching something from you.
Once you know what the problem is then you might find the answer.
2006-08-17 08:01:52 · answer #10 · answered by Ibdreamin099 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋