you're planning something with a friend and that friend decides on their own what's best for the two of you without first discussing it with you? When the topic comes up they still don't ask for your opinion. They assume you'll automatically go along with whatever they've decided. When you disagree and stick to your position you get called "stubborn" and "selfish" for not compromising.
I'm very willing to compromise. I just want to be shown respect like my opinion matters.
2006-08-17 07:45:54 · 19 answers · asked by redcarpetden 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Stand up for yourself.
2006-08-17 07:51:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been in this situation, but it seems like your friend is used to getting his/her way. But it's definitely unfair to be incriminated by someone guilty of the same crime you're accused of. Definitely say something. Assuming that your friend is just used to getting his/her way, he/she might not realize that you are not the only one who's not willing to compromise. (I know I'm being cheesy, but this IS your friend, so you might as well give him/her the benefit of the doubt.) Worst case scenario, your friend will be completely unappreciative of your input and completely disagree. (A true friend wouldn't . . .) You'll know that it's time to move on to a friendship where give and take are reciprocated. Don't forget: you're out to defend the friendship, not the doubt. It's not about 'I'm right and you're wrong,' it's about having a good friend and being one. You don't want to attack the character flaw, you just want to create an awareness of it. It's up to your friend to make the changes, you can't do it for him/her. And KUDOS to you for not being OK with being the delegated doormat in this situation!
2006-08-17 15:15:24 · answer #2 · answered by calico_joyce 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That does suck. If this happens a lot, you need to say something about how much it bothers you. Stand up for yourself. Turn things around. "Don't you think you're a little stubborn and selfish for not taking my opinion into account?" That retort comes to my mind. Tell her (or him) that you want a little respect. Someone's not really a friend if they don't understand that. Good luck.
2006-08-17 14:52:31 · answer #3 · answered by Missouri LitWit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stick to your opinion and you can call your friend stubborn and selfish too. But if your in a group of friends and everyone agrees and you are the only one who doesn't then you are being stubborn.
2006-08-17 14:56:06 · answer #4 · answered by ratel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend to to respect you more. You need to voice your self and let them know you also would like to be included in making plans. It is the only way they are going to know you mean business. Good luck.......
2006-08-17 15:11:07 · answer #5 · answered by ladyjamie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always be true to yourself. I let people run over me for years and got tired of being their doormat. Now my opinion and feelings are as important as anyone else..
2006-08-17 14:57:05 · answer #6 · answered by CuervoBMed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a better friend ... my friends would never do that to me unless they had planned some big surprise party or something!
2006-08-17 14:51:40 · answer #7 · answered by ♪ Nickels ♪ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate that too. That's why I'm not selfish or stubborn.
2006-08-17 14:51:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, and I really hate it when I am asked "just for show." When they have no intentions of even listening to my opinion.
2006-08-17 14:52:23 · answer #9 · answered by WhiteHat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES - your opinion should matter!!!
Maybe you can make suggestions when you start making plans? (or, if it is only one of your friends, maybe you need to talk to them sometime when you aren't too irritated.)
2006-08-17 14:52:21 · answer #10 · answered by tigglys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋