pregnant and boyfriend says have an abortion?

Question

would he suggest an abortion if he loves me, he is 27 i am 30 money is not an issue what should i do as i want to keep the baby but he is very angry please help i need advice i am ten weeks pregnant

Answer 1

He could just be scared. Its up to you if you want the baby or not. Not him. I had a friend of mine that got an abortion because her husband wasn't ready and now it messed her up so she can never have kids. Her body aborts them itself everytime she gets pregnant. I'm 19 and pregnant now and I was thinking about getting an abortion or adoption but until I heard the heartbeat I changed my mind. Not to sound mean but if you abort your baby just because your husband is scared, you will never forgive yourself later on when you see little babies everywhere. You'll wonder too much about what it would have looked like. If you couldn't handle and love this baby then God would not have given it to you. Just do what you feel is right, not your boyfriend. He wouldn't have to live with the decision for the rest of his life like you. Also if he would leave you for deciding to keep the baby, don't get upset. Its not gonna be the baby that makes him leave. He would leave you anyway in the future. Cause if he walks out on a family, he never wanted one with you anyway.

Answer 2

This is your choice. He obviously wanted to play but didn't want to take the time to pay. If you want to keep your baby, then keep it. But do NOT expect any help or support from him. He will probably leave as well and say that he's not going to be a part of the baby's life. (Not like that's a bad thing in my opinion.) I went through this exact same thing. He didn't want it, I did. I now have a wonderful 8 year old son that I don't know what I would do without. His father has nothing to do with him, but he pays his child support because I got the state involved. If you think that having an abortion is the right thing to do, make sure you seek counseling before and after. It's a tough thing to decide, and there is a lot of help out there. Good luck and make sure you do what YOU want to do. Do not let him cow you into something you don't want to do.

Answer 3

well, this lets you know he is not ready for a committment, keep that in mind. for guys, it has nothing to do with love and everything to do with committment...separate issues in a guy's mind. yes it is possible for him to love you and recommend an abortion to dodge the committment.

i would do what you feel is right and realize you will probably will be raising the child on your own. if you choose to keep the baby and he is angry, leave him. it doesn't mean you can't reconnect in the future, but you want as little stress as possible while you are pregnant, especially in the beginning.

my opinion is that if you both had unprotected sex, what is done is done. you can always give the baby up for adoption...there are many people who cannot get pregnant and want to raise a healthy baby in a good environment. best of luck to you and your baby. and maybe, just maybe, your partner will come around.

the only way i could side with him being upset, is if you tricked him into getting pregnant, which i assume you did not. But some women have done this and to the crazy women out there, a baby will not keep him around.

Answer 4

Dear, he doesn't want the baby and you have to face that fact. Of course, he cannot force you to have an abortion but if you decide to keep the baby, don't count on anything from him. Frankly, you SHOULD have been using birth control (and don't say you did but it failed), and I would seriously consider an abortion. This is no way to bring a child into the world - with an angry father and an indecisive mother. He is angry and you don't want to deal with that; it will only get worse. You are at 10 weeks so you had better get to the doctor NOW, as you don't have a lot of time left on this one. As forhim saying he loves you, he DOESN'T! If he did he would be supportive and probably suggest marriage. Please, don't feel guilty. No one knows your own situation BETTER than YOU! Follow your gut instinct and make a decision quickly!

Answer 5

This is a tough one. In the end it is your body and your decision so if you want to keep the baby then keep it. Some people would say that if you keep the baby then the man is also responsible to take care of it, others would say that he told you he didn't want it and though you made the decision to keep it that he is not responsible to care for it. I say that if you make your bed, you must lay in it. He made the decision to have sex with you and with or with out protection there is always the chance that a child will be the result of having sex. Abortion should not be used as birth control and I have a feeling that is what he is using it as. If you keep the baby as you have stated that you want to then you may be raising him or her without their daddy around which lots of women do, it is possible. If he does end up leaving you, you are better off without him and no, he doesn't love you. If he did, I have a hard time believing that he would have asked you to kill your child, but that is only my opinion. Another option, if you are not prepared to be a mommy is to give the baby up for adoption, there are lots of loving couples that would just love to have a baby. I say hurray to you for not letting any man tell you what to do with your life and the life of your child. Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

Ten weeks is not too late to have an abortion. Did you ever talk about having kids before? If so, I would rethink this. You might regret your decision after the procedure has been done. I think you both need to talk to a professional. I'm not anti-abortion but I do think a) you're not a teenager, b) he's already your boyfriend and not a fling, c) you want to keep the baby.

Answer 7

Hello dariling, this is a tough spot to be in, and I have been there. I chose to keep the baby, and at about 15-17 weeks, he really came around. Alot of guys get really scared at first, and it takes some time to sink in, don't trust his first reactions, as it is a life changing expeirience and it a huge blow to take for a guy who wasn't especting it. If you want to keep the baby and you know that in your heart, then have the baby. Like I said, my hubby reacted the same way at first for about 7 weeks or so, and now, he is the best dad in the world, and thanks me all the time. We will be married soon. My cousin was in the same situation also, and she chose abortion for the guy, he broke up with her a few months later and they had been together for a few years, and she regrets her decision to this day. 2 years after she did that, the guy came back and said he regret it also, and wished they had made a better choice. Things will work out no matter what, and pregnacy is a beautiful experience, don't let anyones negative reaction ruin this for you. Good Luck. It will get better:)

Answer 8

Don't have an abortion!

If your boyfriend can't handle fatherhood right now, kick him to the curb and decide now to raise your baby without him. Anyone that selfish isn't someone you want to yoke your life to anyway. TRUST ME ON THIS!!

If he wants nothing to do with the baby, legally document this fact and cut him completely out of the picture. Have him sign over all legal rights to the child, so that when you meet the right guy, he can legally adopt your child and create a real family.

If you have an abortion to keep this boyfriend of yours, you will never forgive yourself. I can tell by what you wrote that you are already bonded to the baby.

Remember, this may be the only child you ever have. Would you ever forgive yourself if you had an abortion?

Answer 9

Well hun,

Truthfully speaking he really may love you but is scared or either not ready to settle down. But I do believe that since you are grown and he is also to make that suggestion is a red light that he has a lot of maturing to do. Don't let no one make up your mind about what to do with your body. Abortions are very serious and sometimes can be a very dangerous procedure. Since you are older its more risky as far as with scarred tissue and all it may prevent you from having kids in the future.

I would say do what you want to do with your body but understand that it may end up with you being a single mother. But if the man truly loves you he will be there until the end.

Answer 10

If your boyfriend truly loved you, he would not ask you to kill your baby and put your health, mental well-being, and life at risk! If you want to keep the baby, do! You will never forgive yourself if you pay someone to harm your child. Your boyfriend may come around and he may not. If he doesn't, you will know for sure what kind of man he is. It's better that you find out now rather than later.

At ten weeks, your beautiful baby has a beating heart, recordable brain waves, all her organs, and tiny fingers and toes. She can suck her thumb, grasp an object placed in her palm, and feel pain. She is moving in the womb, although she is too small for you to feel it yet. Here are some beautiful photos of and information about your baby's development:

http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm
http://www.lifeissues.org/ultrasound/11weeks.htm

Here is some other information you may want to have to help you do the right thing and to show your boyfriend:

Photos of Abortions, Including Abortions at 10 Weeks:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

A Four-Minute, Must-See Video on Abortion:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com

Pain Perception in the Unborn:
http://www.advocatesfortheinnocent.com/fetalpain.html

Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html

Abortion is very dangerous for you as well. It has both immediate risks and long-term side effects. See:

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp

Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html

If you need help of any kind, please go to a pregnancy care center near you. They can give you referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance, free ultrasounds (at some centers), free maternity and baby supplies, pregnancy and parenting information, and counseling and emotional support. You can find one near you here:

http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp

or by calling 1-800-395-HELP.

And here's an organization specifically for pregnant college and career women:

http://www.nurturingnetwork.org

I know you can do the right thing. Please protect yourself and your baby, and you will never regret it.