am i hopeless?even the strongest antideppressants cannot keep the thouht of suicide out of my mind.....?

Question

i have been diagnosed as severly deppressed and bypolar, i have been going to see different therapists for the past 4 years and it seems that nobody can help me. i have been put in mental institutes for trying to commit suicide, drug abuse,and cutting. what makes it worse is that i am an outcast b/c everyone judges me by my past. does anyone have any advice or know any good doctors in texas?I have been trying to be responsible and get help for myself, but i am way past the breaking point. can anyone give me a reason to live???

also have insomnia (trouble sleeping) and take meds for that too. do you think it is dangerous for a 14 yearold to be taking the maximum dose of ambien? and i only get about 4-5 hours of sleep per night at most. does anyone know a safe alternative?

Answer 1

There is a part of you that wants to live more than you want to die - that part has been keeping you alive and seeking help. Make sure you keep a crisis or hotline number close and use it. If you aren't comfortable with your psychiatrist find another one - make sure you are working with a psychiatrist and not an MD. Look for a community mental health center that can hook you up with a therapist and a case mgr or community support worker - someone who can help you get on an even keel. Check out NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) and get support from them. They have groups and information to help you. Please don't stop taking medication and don't go for alternative treatments - if you do - do it in conjunction with traditional methods.

Make up a coping card - divide into 2 sections - and number from 1 to 10 -

On the left hand - write down triggers or symptoms when you are feeling depressed. Start with the least symptom, i.e., starting to feel lethargic as #1 and continue to most severe, i.e., strong suicidal intent with a plan.

On the right hand - write down coping strategies - again starting with some basic and simple tools, i.e., Take a walk, practice deep breathing, call a friend, journal, call therapist, etc., to dealing with most critical, i.e., call 911 and go to hospital.

It will give you a plan when you need it. Make sure you can talk with your therapist and psychiatrist about how your meds are working, progress, concerns, side effects, etc. It's important for them to get them adjusted and working properly. ECT isn't what it used to be and can help in most severe cases. That's a decision between you and your doctor.

Group therapy with an emotional intensity group may also be helpful. If you have a history of abuse that may be contributing to your symptoms.

If you become acutely suicidal don't hesitate to call crisis line and/or 911 or go straight to the hospital.

Whatever you do, don't give up - you are worth it and a part of you knows that.

Answer 2

Every time you think of suicide, push it out of your mind by refocusing on something that requires your total concentration. If you refocus for only a second and go back to thinking about suicide, refocus and try again.

When you find yourself in such a pit of despair and the pain is so great that you just see no way out but to take your life, promise me that you will cry out to God and I mean actually cry out to God for help. I KNOW He will answer you.

Depression is so horrible that it's incomprehensible to someone who has never experienced it. It's like becoming a black hole. You might have been a bright shining star and now everything has just crushed you to the point where you are a concentrated mass of misery. But you can fight it and win. People do it all the time.

If you want to kill yourself, wait one more minute. When that minute is up, wait five more. When those five minutes are up, wait an hour. Wait till the night. Wait till the morning. Fight it. Everyone of us counts.

Feel all the love and strength everyone on here is sending to you. Keep it in your heart and draw on it.

Come back and talk whenever you want - someone is always here.

Answer 3

I have a good friend who lives in San Antonio who has been diagnosed with severe depression and bipolar disorder. She also had several suicide attempts and was sort of an outcast, but she kept going to therapy and kept taking her medication. Now she's married to a man who is a good provider and a wonderful father to their 11-year-old daughter. I don't know who her doctor is, but the point is THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE. Don't give up. Keep trying. You never know -- you may end up being the next great artist of our generation or the person who brings peace to the world...

Answer 4

Dear Klassy,
You are not hopeless since you asked us to answer you this personal question.You are young,life seems difficult,but you just slow down and get some rest somewhere in the countryside.
Try living on a farm,so you could get some work there,earn your money while you heal your mind.Remember the Latin saying:
" Medicus curat,natura sanat" :"The doctor heals,but nature gives you health-or something like that.You will soon give up the medicines in the fresh air and healthy surrounding.
I think your previous using of drugs made you sleepless.
Throw drugs away,they are a lie.

Answer 5

Ever try alternate doctor. One that uses oils and all naturals. Like Reiki.

I attempted suicide as well. I tried to O.D. on pills. Then I found this alternate healing. It has given me hope and made me feel better all together. I no long am on anti depressant and anxiety medications.

I learned that I live for the few people in my life and for myself.
I wish you the best of luck <3

Answer 6

If you are Texas call 1-800-BISHOP 2. Sorry to be undiplomatic. Your condition is not mental: it is a generational malady that is spiritual. There are spiritual I.O.U's that are manifesting through nightmares and attacks during your sleep. Proverbs 3:24 - "When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet. "
You need deliverance--to be freed spiritually from that satanic bondage that is manifesting in the spiritual categories of "Oppression and "Depression." If you really need help, call-1-800-BLM-INFO and describe your condition. They operate a 24hour free help hot-line. If you do not get through, then post and leave an email address and I would be more than happy to assist.
Boaz.

Answer 7

You think your the only one who goes through this shi*, I went through a shorter version when I was younger. You have to find something in life that gives you reason to live, being born is a one-time thing so dont waste it by killing yourself. My life was likely much darker than yours is so my reason for you to live is life gets better with time, get educated and get a job, and create the life you want, its all worth the pain of growing up.

Answer 8

why dont you move to a new city and start over, somewhere where nobody knows your past. i'm very glad you are trying to seek help. are you young (a teen)? you could maybe get a pet to take care of, somthing that needs you.

this is gonna be very cliche, but here goes, Reasons to live:
the future
the sky
rainbows
grass
family
love
i care
the ocean
animals

i wont subject you to any more of my pep talk.
i hope this helped. and remember, there is at least one person out there who is praying for you and that cares.

Answer 9

You are right to continue to seek help. You mentioned drugs. Do NOT self medicate with drugs while taking a psyciatric medications. You need to get on the correct meds. Admit yourself to the hospital and get on a proper regiment of medication. Do not delay and fight feelings of despair. You will not win. Do it now.

Answer 10

The worst part is that no one talks about it as being real- its as real as having a cold- you are not alone- Ive had such dark thuoghts- I was so happy a few months ago and now I push thoughts out of my mind that scare me. Maybe if we could just hold hands and smile.