why is it hard for a man to leave a woman if the man knows that relationship is not so good?

Question

i think i should leave this relationship cuz 1 of 3 kids dont like me so much. and also the woman has problems with me cuz i used to look at porn before we met. once i moved in, i threw all my porn away, but yet i tend to look at some every now and then. she has issues now where ever we are. she tells me that it eats her up inside knowing that i "lust" over other women. i dont know why i dont just pack up and leave. i have a place to go and a job. Im the one who pays all the bills and has been supporting her and the kids for 2 years. not even the kids own fathers do what i do for them. every time we get into an argument, i feel like packing. i start to pack, then i just stop and put everything back. if her thoughts about me dont let her live a sane life, why am i still here? what is holding me back from leaving?. please some one give me a clue, cuz i dont have one.

Answer 1

Either u love her or your just comfortable with her and are afraid of being alone. Ask urself ur the only one who can answer this one sweetie.

Answer 2

I think you stay their because of the love and fondness you clearly have for the kids and you do love your girlfriend, alot more than she thinks, so when she goes into one ova the porn, you just cant find another way to express how pi$sed off you are about the issue causing grief so the natural thing for anyone in a situation like this, is to run!
Bringing up someone elses kids is thje hardest thing eva! You have been a huge part of their lives for 2 years, providing them with the family life that kids deserve, the stability they need and you have obviously given them the love and attention as the father figure in their lives that kids thrive on.
Its been you getting the plasters out when they cut themselves, sorting them out if there not well, like they say ...any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.
It seems to me as if you dont want the kids to lose what u are providing them? Cant you and your girlfriend just sort out this stupid problem with porn? Perhaps if u encourage her to be with you when your watching or looking at it? Who knows, she might enjoy it?
Good luck!xx

Answer 3

If you were 2 leave her today or 2morow-----you don't want ppl 2 look at u as a bad guy ----being that u are the only 1 bringing money in the household----u don't want 2 leave because how is she going 2 take care of herself and the kids------That is the question ur asking urself.

Answer 4

Every one wants to feel like they belong and have a home. It is very hard to start over, but life is too short. There are plenty of women out there that would love to have you in their lives and would treat you good.

Answer 5

You're not leaving because of 2 things. 1) you know she treats you good. 2) You fell sorry for her. She does need to go get child support from the baby's Daddy(s).

Answer 6

Take a trial run without her.
See if you can find peace, because everyone needs to be taken for who they are- habits and all. I love my man, so instead of changing his porn interest, I bought him a gift subscription to Playboy. Why? Because I know he loves my head and heart and isn't going to run away with a playmate!! Your lady needs to learn to trust you or find a better paying job, because you deserve better.

Answer 7

LOVE..that's what holding u back dear....patience will lead u to some happiness don't u worry to much

Answer 8

maybe ...u love her. =T

now, the thing is, relationships need to be good. u need to help u and ur wife to make things Work. Grow. and Become Stronger. because staying in an unhappy marriage..although is somewhat honorable...is still not what is Good or Best for the family if things are negative. and you or other people are unhappy.

so, if u want to stay and Try to make it work, before you leave, u need to figure stuff out. what do u expect from urself as a man, and as a husband? u definitely got the breadwinner part down, so good for you. u Should be proud of that. now, as head of the household, ur job is also to 1) take care of the family by making good decisions, and 2) making sure that ur wife is Stable, Secure, and Trusting of you. that means you need to do some introspective searching...are You Trustworthy? are You a Great Husband? do you make your wife's happiness one of ur priorties? will u do all you can to TRY to work things out, and help her to trust you? if yes, then that is Awesome. that is the most u can do, because you are trying to be a good husband, and trying to find out what Her needs are, and trying to satsify them. Mentally, emotionally, And physically. it's not just bringing home the bacon; being head of the household means u gotta be able to take care of All this stuff.

but we're not done...what do u expect from ur wife? is she treating u well? is she respectful? is SHE trustworthy? does she trust you? u need to communicate w/ her and find out what it is she is not happy about... u will only know how You feel, u cannot truly know how she feels; the only way is to make her feel comfortable enough to communciate w/ you. without fear. without hurt. without resentment.

find out what SHE expects from you as a husband, and from herself as a wife. now talk about what you both want from this relationship. do u Both want to make it better? if the answer is yes, u have something to work on. can u guys communicate, and learn to trust eachother's judgement? can u learn to compromise, but hearing and understanding and learning about eachother, and trying to figure out what is missing, together? try! it's worth it to develop and Grow this relationship.

another thing is, u may need to continously work on this relationship w/ ur step-son, who doesnt' like you. as long as u do ur best to be a great father, u have nothing to worry about, u have nothing to be hurt about. u cannot control the child, but u can control how u speak, treat, and love him. u can try ur hardest to be as kind and fatherly as u can. if he rejects you, let it be. there are other factors involved. but at least no one will be able to judge and say that u didn't do ur best..because if u did, u will know it. and it won't bother u what other people said, because you Did and continue to Do your best to be a great father, husband, etc.

now, all of this sounds hard right? =T but the thing about rleationships, family, and marriage is...the work is Worth it. these people are Worth it. when u give up, start resenting people, not appreciating things, not trying to fix the problems, then You become not good enough for them! why let urself fall into that state? if u always continue to seek what is good, positive, true, and healthy, u will come out better. so if u feel that u have tried to concede to ur wife's complaints about porn, and u threw it out, talk about it. ASK her what more she expects from u as a husband regarding your love and ur relationship. most likely it will be a feeling that perhaps you are interested or attracted to other women, and she doesn't feel Wanted. now, whether u are or not attracted is not the problem..the problem is SHE FEELS UNWANTED. so what are u going to do about it? instead of getting upset because u threw out the porn, "what else does she want", start focusing on what u can do to Help her Stop feeling that way. that effort will show her u love and care for her, regardless of if you have porn or not.

i hope u will be able to continue to grow this relationship. obviously u do not want to leave...because something is there, some spark of hope to change things. i think if u truly try as hard as u can to satisfy this woman's needs, and she STILL is unappreciative, then and only then will u have the will to leave. but until then, there is always something missing that u will feel like u didn't achieve something, that u've "failed". if u've given ur ALL to be the best, for her and for urself, u've hardly failed. u've just come into a situation where this person is just not right for you. because ALL of your work and attention and love will be good enough for someone, who appreciates you and will work just as hard as you for something Good.

Answer 9

because it is steady pu ssy, and he never knows when the next sure thing is

Answer 10

Who'll cook your dinner or do your wash?

Get out and get help!!!