First let me say I am a Christian--I don't object to other people lifestyle chioces--but I do take issue with my husband doing things that I thought we both agreed were aginst our beliefs.I believe my husband has an addiction to pornography. Is it just 'man-like' to not be able to resist porn? Please don't respond with " as long as he's not cheating what does it hurt?"/use it for better sex"..etc etc I thought I had married someone who believed as I did that porn has no place in a loving marriage--unless both people are ok with it. I have nothing against porn or people who choose to look at it--but its not for me--and It makes me feel absolutely heartbroken when I find out that my husband has been looking at/downloading dozens of clips/movies. I am serious, i am heartbroken. we have three kids--two girls and a boy,I worry that my son will grow up to be like him and that my girls will somehow be affected. Please help me--I want a better marriage.
2006-08-17 06:31:09 · 23 answers · asked by sosadgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok, let me say I am no prude..not by far--he even said when we were dating he liked me because I was classy in public--but a freak in bed....with that i have done nude pics, we have plenty of 'fun stuff' i feel people think that just because this bothers me it means i am an ugly prude....Look I am only 26, i am no supermodel--but I know I am good looking when I get hit on even when I am pregnant...I don't mind if he masturbates--its just I feel that pron is lust and lusting is cheating. are there any christians out there with answers?
2006-08-17 06:47:44 · update #1
First off, let me tell you, and I have said for the record before others just think I am ugly and/or insecure let me say first off I am a 5 foot 10 inch long blonde haired personal trainer- me and my boyfriend are both bodybuilders.....
You are ABSOLUTLEY correct in your thinking regardless what any OUTSIDER in your marriage says. No, I do not think you are ugly, no I do not think you are a prude either.
In a marriage, that is a union for which God created for a Man ans his Wife to get down right crazy and kinky and enjoy each other's bodies that belong to EACH OTHER....this union is the ONLY union God intended sex to be a part of and it pisses me off when HEATHENS that will give it up for ANYBODY what God meant to be SACRED think they have a right to ATTACK a MARRIED PERSON as being prude, insecure WHATEVER.
ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN for LIFE..........not "Oh, at least he isn't cheating on you"....BULL$HIT! Fidelity is the LEAST you should expect in a union that is a three part union, Man, Wife, God!!!!
Your husband married YOU......He agreed, before God, to FORSAKE ALL OTHERS! This means IN ALL THINGS........sure, from time to time we all see attractive people, fine. No harm in the eye wandering around as we roam the Earth.....but, purposefully seeking it out to get your rocks off is unacceptable in a marriage.
Geez, it makes me sick how people have such a cavalier attitude about this......no wonder the world is going to hell in a handbasket.....because people do not honor what is important........
the 10 commandments are commandments- NOT SUGGESTIONS!
2006-08-17 07:28:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Resist Porn
2017-01-12 14:19:11 · answer #2 · answered by svendsen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2
2016-07-18 21:38:41 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, yes, yes. Men can resist looking at porn. Don't be fooled into thinking it's okay. Always fight the temptation. You will be stronger for it. Porn is habitual and addictive. It costs a lot of money. Despite the popular belief porn isn't good. It takes strength of character to resist where weaker people simply just follow there lusts. That's the easy way. Resisting temptation is far better. Besides, just think how productive you can be by doing other things.
2016-03-27 06:13:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't get angry at me for saying this but honestly, it's NOT A BIG DEAL.
Really. Out of 10 men friends that I have, I'd say 9 out of those 10 admit to looking at porn. And my husband looks at it. (I do too on occasion and nope, he doesn't mind one bit).
I know you didn't want to hear these words but really, it's better than him cheating on you. My husband and I love each other but have two very different sex drives. He would be happy with it every day, I'm happy if it's once a week, maybe two. So, he can look at porn if I'm not in the mood, otherwise he'd be going nuts and very frustrated to the point of insanity! My husband and I have a very good marriage and we have two kids.
Do not be heartbroken. Please. It's not a big deal and things WILL be worse if you make him to stop. Just ask him to keep it very well hidden from you and your kids and to do it in complete privacy. If you absolutely cannot stand him looking at any other woman, then both of you make your own porn so he can still look at you naked when you're not around!
P.S. I wholeheartedly do NOT agree with the woman below.
2006-08-17 07:11:07 · answer #5 · answered by spike_is_my_evil_vampire 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off, you should know that men think about sex on the average about every 7 minutes. And being a father of kids, he cannot act upon such thoughts very often. I understand your being upset with this situation, and surely hope he does not save any pictures/movies on the computer that your kids may stumble across. My best suggestion is that you find a way to be more interesting sexually to him than a computer. Obviously, he has fantasies and maybe you should find out what they are and fulfill them so he doesn't need to online. This could of course entail your watching some of the porn he does, not as a habit, but rather an information gathering tool. I wish you the best in resolving this issue.
2006-08-17 07:10:09 · answer #6 · answered by Mike H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should be more of a freak in the bedroom. I'm a Christian but i'm not a prude. Your husband's obviously feeling like he's missing out on something.
My advice - Whip it on him good!
EDIT - Whatever you do, do NOT listen to Valerie. She's a drill sargeant and i'm sure her man gets tired of that mouth. Ease up, for God's sake. Even if he does stop watching actual pornography, he could very well fantasize about women at work, in the streets or on TV. So, you can't control his mind is what i'm getting at.
2006-08-17 06:36:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn is like drugs it is addictive as well as wrong. Yes I said wrong the bible says to look upon a woman and lust after is the same as committing adultery with her. The only thing that can change your husband is GOD. No not all men need porn. Also it don't mean he don't love you it is just Satan's ways. P.S. will pray for you and HIM GOD CHANGES THINGS. Also you could turn in an unspoken prayer request at your church.
2006-08-17 07:06:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you have to realize about men and probably your husband is that when a man agree's with you about something such as porn he is telling you what we in the men industry like to call..."what you want to hear" rather then start an argument or stress our true feelings we tell you what ever you want to hear so that we can get what we want. No man is gonna admit he likes porn to a woman who he knows is strongly against it. And its not an addiction just because you like to watch it, its just a thing. And yes you should worry that your son will grow up like him because thats how guys are. My family was strongly religious and they tried to sheild me from things like that...but as time went by I discovered it and made my own choices about it. Maybe what you should think about is that when you are married you have to grow with the person..you can't expect them to be the same way forever..thats the true test of a marriage. No offence but maybe you aren't full filling something sexually for him. and the fact that you get upset about porn to the point of being heartbroken is a huge indicator of that...Why don't you take a bunch of naked pics of yourself and put them on his computer and see what he does with that. Im not trying to be mean im just telling you to lighten up and not be bossy or pushy about the issue. Maybe he is just discovering things that have been missing from his life.
2006-08-17 06:40:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Every man looks at porn. Don't get worked up about it. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or think you're not desireable. The male species is genetic wired to be that way....it's was natures way of populating the earth and keeping the human race going. But societal values has changed that.
My g/f rents porn movies all the time and has a membership. She drags me into these places to help her pick out movies....I'm embarrassed and want to scream "it's not my idea it's hers".
I'm confident that I satisify her emotionally and physically.....so it doesn't bother me that she likes to watch porn. It doesn't matter where she gets her appetite from as long as she eats at home.
2006-08-17 06:50:54 · answer #10 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋