My sister has been married rot he same guy for 17 years and she has been having problem in the marriage. One question popped up that I had no clue as to how to answer. He never has slept a whole night with her in thier bed, preferring the tv and the couch to her and intimacy. He is a healty man, no problems. So is this normal for some guys to just not want this? It started on thier honeymoon. Help!
2006-08-17 06:29:58 · 19 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is not healthy in my opinion. To me it indicates other issues. However, it seems important to me that you say it started on honeymoon!
Has she ever asked him about it? Maybe she snores? Maybe she is a tosser turner? there are just too many possible variables to be able to answer this one.
2006-08-17 06:36:36 · answer #1 · answered by sarahbobarah 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Whether right or wrong is not the question. True intimacy comes from the sharing of a life with another in ALL things. I think that they should talk about this together and maybe seek counciling. In a marriage or relationship it is normal to sometimes fall asleep in front of the tv and not make it to bed, but to make it a daily habit for years and only come to bed for sex is indication of a much deeper problem. Has she talked with him about it? I would assume after 17 years it would have come up more than once. What is his reasoning? And no, it is not normal.
2006-08-17 06:39:24 · answer #2 · answered by jerofjungle 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That seems odd, for sure, but perhaps she snores and he doesn't wish to hurt her feelings telling her so. After 17 years, they should have talked about this and come to some understanding about it. If they have a good sex life, I can't see this being a serious problem. Maybe he needs the noise from the tv to fall asleep. I know a few people who do. It is a distraction from thoughts that keep a person awake at nights.
2006-08-17 06:40:42 · answer #3 · answered by Mike H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Might just be a comfort thing. If the couch is comfier on his back, then of course he's going to want to sleep there. Or maybe the sound of the TV lulls him to sleep. Maybe he likes having something pressed to his back. I wouldn't say it's a bad thing if the rest of the marriage is okay.
If it's not, I really don't think it's the problem if he's been doing this for 17 years. There are other things that should be worked on, like communication and trust.
2006-08-17 06:38:46 · answer #4 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is your sister's problem, not yours, and if she accepts the situation, then it is no concern of yours. If she isn't happy with it, then it should be between her and her husband -- and a marriage counselor, if they can not resolve it between themselves.
One of the quickest ways to turn a guy off is for him to find out that his woman has been discussing their sex life with someone else. Except, of course, if she is praising his performance!
Seriously, some people truly don't like to sleep with another person. And if she has been putting up with this for 17 years, it sounds as though she has accepted it. If, however, she wants to change things, that is up to her and her husband.
You are well meaning, and can be as supportive as you like, but the last place you want to be is between your sister and her husband. Three in a bed is crowded...
2006-08-17 06:38:46 · answer #5 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I quite often slept on the couch when I was married. My wife snored and I was a light sleeper. I was the one with the problem so I moved to the couch.
2006-08-17 06:35:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My parents now have seperate bedrooms. They both snore...
It could be something simple like that. Snoring, restless leg syndrome, etc.
2006-08-17 06:42:56 · answer #7 · answered by loshea65 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is unusual. He may have his reasons, like he is a light sleeper & she keeps him awake by either snoring or fidgiting or both. The thing is, it is between your sister & her husband to work out for themselves. MYOB.
2006-08-17 06:39:09 · answer #8 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She has allowed it to happen this long, she made her bed. She can demand he sleep with her or try to entice him into bed, but thats about it.
2006-08-17 08:53:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems weird to me. He should want to be intimate in other ways besides sex if he has strong love for her.
2006-08-17 06:34:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋