My soon to be ex is doing everything he can to aggravate me and make me look bad in front of my kids...Like taking them to the Shelter and letting them call to say "Daddy said we can get a dog if you say yes." or "daddy said he'll buy me a cel phone if you pay the monthly bill". The man won't talk to me, when I need to talk to him about the boys, he won't answer the phone, won't answer e-mails, he's just being an @ss. How can I get him good WITHOUT hurting the kids? Any suggestions?
2006-08-17 06:23:27 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ignore the fool,explain to your kids that he can only speak for himself and not for you.daddy's time is with daddy.mommies time is with you. so any requests made on daddy's time should be answered by daddy.do not turn into one of those mom's that think they have to buy their kids love because of outside influences,that is the recipe for the problems in young adults.just be mom love your kids and find a new man the kids can call daddy. that will really bust his balls.
2006-08-17 06:37:34 · answer #1 · answered by desayunogratis 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Resist temptation, be the bigger person, that will get to him more than anything else. When he takes the kids to the shelter for a dog, agree to them getting a dog that stays at his house. As far as the cell phone, agree to it but tell them you cant afford the bill so if he wants you to have it he has to pay the monthly bill.
Turn this situation around and never get angry, that is exactly what he wants. If he won't talk to you about the kids, make your own decisions and leave him a message saying i tried to reach you regarding..... when you did not call back I had to make this decision, just thought you would like to know.
Move on with your life and eventually he will move on with his also.
2006-08-17 06:38:24 · answer #2 · answered by Joy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you sound like a vendictive woman with serious problems. You can tell that you are not a nice person by scheming and plotting to make trouble in someones life. Did you ever think that your scheming and devious behavior is why people treat you unkindly now. It sounds like you are getting a taste of your own medicine, and it sounds like you have not learned your kesson of how to correctly treat people. Maybe if you went out of your way to be nice, (not just civil) but nice, then he would treat you better.
You need to evaluate your behavior and what inside you makes you so mean and devious. Do not plan on messing someones life up because your life is so difficult, because you made it that way. Spend less time trying to get people back and more time fixing your own messed up life.
IT sounds like your children need to get away from you for a while before youu make them suffer more for your innapropriate behavior.
It is no wonder that your relationship produced a broken home. It does not seem like you are the type of woman that a man would want to stay with, however, that is not an excuse to get a divorce. You did not have the strength or morals to succeed in marriage but that does not mean that divorce is a good answer. When you got a divorce, you proved to you family, the church, and God that you are a liar. you failed in marriage and it sounds like you are failing in life and being a parent. Don't drag you kids down with you.
2006-08-17 06:43:03 · answer #3 · answered by greencaddyman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your guns, stay firm with the kids. Getting him will be when the kids are older and turn to you one day and say "God, Dad's a real @sshole". It's worth it, trust me. And next time he has the kids call to says they can have a dog, say "Sure, we'll just keep it at Daddy's house", turn it back on him.
P.S. Though a dog is a good idea for the kids, you take them to the shelter to pick one out if your situation can accommodate it.
2006-08-17 08:01:58 · answer #4 · answered by st pete rn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and tell your kids what is going on.You need to explain the situation. I don't know how old your kids are but if they are wanting cell phones then they are old enough to understand what is going on. Don't let him use the children or you like this. My ex is the same way I can't talk to him about anything but I do talk to my kids and let them know. Carefully choose your words and no matter how mad you are or how much you hate your soon to be ex do not talk bad about him in front of your kids. Make sure you let your kids know how much you love them and it is not their fault you two are divorcing. Good luck Sweetie, ex's can be idiots
2006-08-17 06:37:46 · answer #5 · answered by daack7 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear, i hate it when grown people feel that they can use kids to upset someone else. what ur soon to be ex dont understand is that in reality he is only messing up ur kids minds. I'm going through something like that, but I tell my daughter and she is 6 that we all love daddy very much, but daddy has some problems that he needs help in, and even though daddy says what he says and do what he do, he is still daddy, and sometimes you have to ignore people. also when u r explaining what is going to ur kids just dont say daddy this and daddy that, talk to them in general as many people or most people do this and say that , but do feel free to throw daddy name in it too.
2006-08-17 06:55:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
bust his balls?have you tried a hammer?(just kidding)
Tell the boys"No baby,Mommy told Daddy that he could cover all the cell phone costs and he agreed".Or you could say"Well honey,Daddy said he was going to get you a pure bred german shepard puppy(or some type that's REALLY expensive) and pay for the shots and registration..he said he'd do it cause he loves you guys so much and he wants to be the best daddy ever"
2006-08-17 06:46:25 · answer #7 · answered by L.T. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, you really do have some problems, I feel for you babe, its always a heartache when things go wrong. But the best thing you can do is to do nothing. The children will soon sus out what he is doing and understand. Each time he does something you have to explain to the childen why its not possible. As for your ex the only thing you can do is ignore him and make sure he does not realise he is getting to you. Email me anytime you ould like to chat.
2006-08-17 06:32:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Grow up, that's how! be the best mother to your kids that you can be, say nothing bad about their father, be a role model of maturity and set a fine example. Trying to "get him good" will only fan the flames of dissention. Divorce is such a nasty business and the kids ALWAYS get hurt no matter what! If all you can think about is getting back at your ex, you WILL hurt your kids and your lousy attitude WILL come across to them. Is that really what you want? They will eventually grow up and if they have brains, they will figure out that their father is an infantile idiot. Don't you be one too.
2006-08-17 06:33:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
This man is obviously starving for attention from you. Don't give it to him. Just tell him that if he can't act in a more mature manner, then maybe he shouldn't be able to see the children anymore. When he has the children, it is HIS time. Whenever you have the children, it is YOUR time. Make sure he realizes that, and unless it is an emergency, he doesn't need to be in contact with you while he has HIS time with them.
2006-08-17 06:39:17 · answer #10 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋