Am I Wrong For Having Taken Him Back...?

Question

Everything is okay now, but I fear the same thing, or similar, happening again...

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Answer 1

hmm well looking at your question and i would think the general view would be that you would be a muppet to take him back, BUT its one of those situations which is hard to gauge unless you are in the scenario.
Take for example when my bloke screwed another bloke i always said i would never ever take him back, my christ i lasted a week without him and i was a wreck! that was 5 yrs ago and here we are still together
so in short after my rambling of crap, Good luck, go to wilkinsons and get a dog lead and choke chain and keep him on it!

Answer 2

Do you love him? If so - yes.

But take it slow.

You are both adults now and know more about what you like and dislike.

I would invite him to dinner and have a long talk. You could go over what you and he want. If you don't want him to be with someone else besides you then bring it up. Let him know up front that that will be grounds for breaking up any relationship you have.

If he is fine with that, then take him back. If he can't do that then part as friends. He probably thought of you more as a freind with benefits so you just need to make it clear that you will not tolerate that in future. Of course if you want to be a friend of benefit, or if you will settle for being a friend with benefits - don't hold it against him if he cheats! Just be sure you have safe sex.

Good luck.

Answer 3

If you really want to be with him, try concentrating on friendship. It will develop more effectively the relationship without the pressure of the past. Friendship includes loyalties, trust, respect and faithfulness. If he's providing this qualities, then go forward but still cautiously and slow. Learn to forgive and forget. In as much; the old cliche: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", is very true. Without you in his life, he had a change in heart. This is due to the great qualities you posses. Furthermore, it provided him a sense of understanding and accepting his mistakes.

Don't look back on past mistakes. It could very well prevent you from understanding the path on which you are on now. Watch his actions for tell tell signs.

Answer 4

Love is not enough for the basis of a relationship. Although you love him, he doesn't love you; but he does find you convenient. When nothing else is going his way, you'll still be around like a faithful dog. Kick it, and it still comes back for more.

At 19 your brain has only just finished developing. In your teens, reasoning occurs primarily in the area which processes emotion. That's why our teen years are so difficult. By age 19 reasoning has moved to a non-emotional area, and although the two conflict at times, you should be able to separate out the desire from the reality.

You deserve better! You should value yourself more, and hold out for a real relationship based not just on love, but on trust and honesty. This man is incapable of faithfulness, will be dishonest in the future, and will certainly not be trustworthy.

As someone once said "It is hard enough to change myself; I cannot expect to be able to change someone else". He is what and who he is, and he is not the man you want or need.

Answer 5

I and/or noone else here can tell you if you are wrong or right. IT is not our place even though you have asked us. BUt What I can tell you is that It is so Much more IMPORTANT to Love yourself more. DOnt let people Use you for SEX, For Temporary Companiionship, or mOney. I have been around the block and have been used and abused. Take it from me many tears later I have learned to love myself more and let people like this go. There is always a reason you guys are Ex-es! Godbless and good luck!

Answer 6

I read your original question, felt really bad for you.
Its so hard when you love someone, we put up with all kinds of rubbish in the name of love.
I would say you have your eyes wide open if you are asking the question. Make sure they stay that way and if you get a hint of being used move on and don't look back. It will hurst like hell for a while but then you will get your dignity and self respect back and you need them in this cruel world!

Be well.

Answer 7

unfortunately he can't be trusted and more then likely he's going to end up hurting you, the longer this goes on the deeper the feelings and the more it's going to sting. If he hurts you again not only are you going to have a broken heart (again!) but also your going to feel a fool for taking him back. My advice is to distance your self from him (emotionally), go out get some **** and dump his sorry ***! Don't get suckered in! Good luck

Answer 8

If you think your wrong for taken him back in your life then why in a first place did you take him back? Whatever happen in a relationship if it ends or not it is for both of you to work it out, it takes two to tango, but if you don't trust him you can't be at peace and you shouldn't be in a relationship to someone you can not trust. Love is about trust, honesty, communication, openness to each other.

Answer 9

Well it look as though you both might have different idea's of commitment. It's OK to love him, but you think maybe you don't love who he is? What if the perfect guy came around tomorrow and you both had so much in common and you only wanted to be with just you... What would you do? Wait around for this man you love to hurt you again? Or would you follow your heart with someone who hasn't dis-respected you?

Answer 10

I will never tell you to follow your heart. Your brain tells the truth much more than your heart. We have to make good decisions in our life in order to even survive this life. You have been used and the other person knows you love them and that they can come back with very little consequences because you love them. But...if you use your brain and cut them loose, your heart will heal, and...you will be available when the right person comes along.