my husband and i use to get on great but i have found out things about him the past few months that i dont like. he never told his parents that he married me and that we ahd a son,the only reason they found out was because i got hold of their address and wrote to them they have just been down to visit and they are lovely this is the first time i have met them even tho weve been married for nearly 2 years, my husband use to say that he had told them but they were close enough not to contact each other all the time,also he is constantly drinking and gets violent when he is hungover having hit both me and our son. he has joined internet dating agencies,told me that he had a daughter with his ex girlfriend this turned out to be lie and is selfish when it comes to money leaving me with very little and has also said his mates will always come first before myself and our son. im wanting to leave him but he loves our son very much and vice versa what should i do
2006-08-17 04:58:15 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey, he doesnt love you. And before you go getting mad at me, ask yourself if you would EVER do what hes doing. I doubt it. Let me explain something to you from experience. The only thing a mean careless abusive father is going to do for your son is to either make him into the same kind of man, or make him miserable. He wouldnt have avoided telling his parents if he loved you...and his "mates" should be friends, not more important than his wife and his son. If you want to give your sona good life, leave. You cant do it in that kind of a situation. Just keep in mind, all those men who "accidentally" kill their wives and children started out just yelling and slapping them around. Its not just your life. You are making this decision for what I hope is the most important person in your life. Your son. He deserves better, and so do you. If you want someone to talk to, e-mail me, and I will help you. Please, feel free to write me. Its Fantasia1900@yahoo.com. Please know you deserve better than this!
P.S....he can love him just as much down the road.
2006-08-17 05:09:06 · answer #1 · answered by Jasmine R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I went through alot of the same thing and I'm sure there is more to your story. I stayed with my husband for ten years and then couldn't take it anymore. I cheated and left him for two years and two months. I found out he also cheated on me during one of my pregnancies. We are finally back together and though it took 12 years, he has finally grown up enough to know that he treated us wrong. Now I live everyday with the guilt of breaking one of the ten commandments. Just don't let it get that far. He needs to grow up alot, and be prepared for a long journey. If you are a Biblical woman, then you should not leave your husband for any reason, but if your not, then run!!!!! Your son will adjust fine, being only 2 years old. It's when they are 5 and older that it gets too hard. Good Luck to you and your son!
2006-08-17 14:09:32 · answer #2 · answered by Amy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to leave and get out of that situation. The last thing you or your son needs is to be around someone that is abusive! He and his son can still have a relationship but doesn't have to be a "family" don't stay in an unhappy relationship because you have a child...in the long run that will hurt all of you more. Get out now!
2006-08-17 12:07:23 · answer #3 · answered by Workinmamma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After reading your "name" and your question I really should mind my own busness. But... It sounds like your husband has a world of problems in his life that only he can deal with. His parents, drinking and honesty in general. But if you are so perfect, it may help if you also look at your problems. Even if you don't think you have any. For your sons sake, I hope both of you can figure out what's going on in your own heads. Because it sounds to me like your son is in for a world of hurt and confusion in his future.
2006-08-17 12:12:46 · answer #4 · answered by pat j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has hit you AND your son? So what if he "loves" him, take your son and GET OUT!!!!! He is a liar and abuser with a drinking problem on top of it. You owe it to your son and yourself to escape this situation and have a real life. Do you want your son to grow up to be another loser like his father?
2006-08-17 12:08:28 · answer #5 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what's going on with your husband, but if he has hit you and your son, you need to get out and FAST. You cannot allow your child to be abused like that. He loves your son so much? If he did, he wouldn't hit him. Quit letting him treat you like a puppet and get out.
2006-08-17 12:30:55 · answer #6 · answered by bluez 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to leave now because abuse never gets better it only gets worse also, your son may love him but i'm wondering if its you that reaslly wants to stay when an abuser has mental control its nearly impossible to leave but for you and your sons safety get out now you will be surprised how much help there is when you ask good luck.
2006-08-17 12:17:26 · answer #7 · answered by pumpkin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a situation that must be resolved NOW.
Abuse is not to be tolerated - Especially - when children are involved. He is hurting your child physically and emotionally and scaring the child!!!!! That is UNacceptable!!!!!
File for an order of protection - Get to a woman's center for help TODAY - emergency consultation and take your child with you.
It is your OBLIGATION to do so. You must protect your child - and yourself NOW.
2006-08-17 13:51:13 · answer #8 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is a little messed up, the drinking, hitting and money issues are very concerning. It that isn't corrected....you should consider moving on.
2006-08-17 12:18:57 · answer #9 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant stay with someone solely because of children. Theres this new/old saying.... The old one is.... stay together for your kids... the new one is, DONT STAY TOGETHER FOR YOUR KIDS< THEY WOULD RATHER HAVE A HAPPY SEPARATE HOME< THAN A VIOLENT MISERABLE HOME... Get your son, and get away from him. Hes a drunk abusive man, and you deserve better.
2006-08-17 12:04:51 · answer #10 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋