For 6yrs I have tried to free myself and my children from this man. I have submitted to many forms of abuse to subdue my abuser and protect my children. He offers me two choices, come home or never see your children again. He has an extremely high IQ and is obsessed with keeping me as his wife. When I finally could'nt take his sexual abuse and emotional blackmail anymore I told him I was going through with our divorce and that I loved another man. He has devisated me financially and keeps me tied up in court defending myself against false accusations. At present I have been charged with harrassment, disorderly conduct and he has obtained a restraining order. All of which I am contesting. My biggest concern is the fact that he has 2 of my 3 children and will not allow me to see or speak to them. He is in the advanced stages of parental alienation and the courts are not equipped to handle this. The courts are too slow and he is brainwashing my children. How can I stop him?
2006-08-17 03:57:38 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've seen this exact kind of thing a hundred times over the years.
You don't understand the nature of an obsessively controlling person. As a result, you have spent a lot of time reinforcing his behavior. You're literally playing into his hands. While you're stressing, he's having fun. This is all a game to him, and he's winning. You have to learn the rules, then play to win.
He's not interested in the kids, or even the marriage. These are just tools; a means to an end. What he wants is to control your life; keep you reacting to his behavior. It doesn't matter whether you react positively or negatively. All he wants is your reaction. He wants your whole life revolving around him (or as much of it as he can get). At this point he's being successful. You're "living the litigation", as many of my client's did; focusing your life on the court/domestic battle. This leaves little time or energy for you to focus on rebuilding yourself. He's using the courts and the children as weapons to get to you. He doesn't care about getting custody or winning in court. All he cares about is the battle, and how you have to react to what he's doing. Even if you succeed in defending yourself, you don't win. He does, because you spent all that time and energy just reacting to him. He cares about the battle, not the end result. By then he's already got what he wanted, and he just starts again with something new.
He's doing all kinds of outrageous things, seemingly with impunity. When, out of frustration, stress and anger you react, he then uses that reaction against you, correct?
It doesn't matter to him how you react; just that you do. It doesn't matter whether he "wins" or "loses", only that you have to fight.
If any of this sounds familiar to you, or makes sense, e-mail me. I'll tell you how to educate your attorney, how to stop this behavior, and how to win.
2006-08-17 05:16:39 · answer #1 · answered by antirion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to contact Child Protection Services and get advice on how to handle ex wanting to see your child. Then I'd get a lawyer and get legal counsel on rules governing child support and obligations to bio father. More than likely he hasn't cleaned up his act if he is negative about going to classes.
2016-03-16 23:17:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you can not go back to this man, children or not.Continue fighting through the courts, document everything this man does to you.If all else fails, a 5 cent bullet might do the trick. Good luck.
2006-08-17 04:05:44 · answer #3 · answered by yooper guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
buy a 12 ga. shot gun and get reay to use it
2006-08-17 04:18:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋