Would you accept a down payment on a house as a gift? From someone other then your parents or grandparents (in-laws included)?
What about a whole house free and clear?
My boyfriend and I are at that point where we're ready to get engaged and married. He's been torturing me by waiting to ask the question, and continuously mentioning marriage, houses and everything that comes with it.
Anyways, yesterday he told me that one of his friends wants to give us a very early wedding present. 5 - 10% down payment on a new house. He also said that if we wanted, we can get a house tomorrow free and clear... as a gift. I have no idea from who, but I'm assuming from one of his family members.
I feel extremely uncomfortable accepting something this big. I feel like we should work for it ourselves.
Even though they would be gifts, I think I would feel in debt to the gift giver. Am I being irrational for feeling this way? My boyfriend seems to have no problems accepting this gift.
2006-08-17 03:46:01 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know which friend is making the offer for the down payment. I'm just not sure why he wants to do this for us. All I've been told is that he wants to help us out with getting our life together started.
I don't think that his friend or family member would hold a gift like this over our heads. They're doing it out of the goodness of their hearts, but it's a lot of money. And I think that no matter what they do or don't do, I'll feel like I owe them.
I'm not use to gifts this big. My grandparents have given my mom money to help pay for her house and stuff of that sort. And if I ever won the lottery, I would do something like this for my family members. But as far as I know. No one has won the lottery.
2006-08-17 04:33:57 · update #1
I hear what you are saying about being in debt to the giver. It depends on who is giving it. If it is someone who will hold it over your head then hell no! If it is someone who is naturally a giver and I mean a true giver, then accept your blessings. Ask him who it is from, then decide.
2006-08-17 03:54:10 · answer #1 · answered by colleyshey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you ever feel indebted to the gift giver, then the gift is too large. There is no reason why you'd have to accept such a gift. You should be able to provide for yourselves as capable adults. I wouldn't be happy with someone who makes that sort of proposition. They have to have some idea of the sort of reaction such a gift would have.
(btw, I wouldn't accept such a gift from my parents or grandparents either. I really despise gifts of money so I may be the wrong person to ask.)
2006-08-17 10:57:28 · answer #2 · answered by Magina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is very generous of this gift giver, your boyfriend may not have a problem with this type of treatment because he may be accustomed to it. Sounds like you on the other hand didn't have the same type of luxury.
You are not being irrational, talk it through explain to him how you feel. Maybe you can compromise on the gifts. Good luck!
2006-08-17 10:52:22 · answer #3 · answered by shae 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something is not right, people don't simply give away houses. Do not accept this house, someone is not being completely honest with you. You need to question everything about this from A to Z and do not stop asking questions until you have the answers.
2006-08-17 10:57:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're uncomfortable, there is a reason.
This whole thing sounds pretty screwy. It sounds like his "friend" is trying to make sure you're in debt to him.
I'd respectfully pass on the offer.
2006-08-17 10:52:34 · answer #5 · answered by shinobisoulxxx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would jump on it. If they can afford to give you a house free and clear you'd be foolish not to take it.
2006-08-17 10:52:24 · answer #6 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always say..."if it's too good to be true it probably is"
2006-08-17 10:51:19 · answer #7 · answered by High on Life!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋