Would you reconcile with him?

Question

I separated from my ex-hubby for 6 months because he cannot stop going out with his female friends on single dates and keep out late nights till early morning, when his son was only one month old. He cannot bother to fetch me when I am 8 months pregnant but would take time to fetch this girl from the East to Orchard to catch a movie during office hours. He spent time listening to this girl's personal problems but is tired when I want to talk to him. I once saw him with the girl and confronted them after we were separated. But he couldn't care much even though I was so upset and left with the girl. He keeps telling me this is just a friend and wants me to change my attitude if I want him to return. Do you think something is going on between the two of them? Would you give in and reconcile, stay status quo or divorce?

Answer 1

I am sure that even with all the wise answers here you will still ask this question many times. You feel that you cannot let go because you are afraid.

The facts are there, the actions are there, but it is a sure thing you will just read all the answers, and still ask youself this question. BECAUSE you are in a state of DENIAL (You can see it, and yet you still ask).

And there are many reasons leading to this, It can be that you are afraid because you have a kid, maybe because you still love him, or finances...but nobody knows except you.

You need more than the answers here on Yahoo to help you. SO PLEASE CHECK OUT THE FOLLOWING:

If you are in Singapore, check out this website:

http://www.aware.org.sg/

Aware Center
Blk 5 Dover Crescent
#01-22
Singapore
130005
+(65) 6779-7137
+(65) 6777-0318
Helpline: 1800-774 5935

I know that they have people there who can help, if not , maybe they can at least give you a road map.

Answer 2

I think you have the answer already. You have asked this question is just to know if you have make the right decision.
based on your description your ex husband really treat his female friends very well.
Actually during the initial stage did you tell your hubby how you feel when you see him treating his female friend so well. Anybody who see his/her spouse treating a male/female friend in this manner will be upset but themain issue is tt did both of you discuss about this issue.
At the current stage I suggest that it is good for both of you to cooI down and think what is the main problem in this relationship. I believe tt once you cool down and think over carefully, you are able to make the right decision. Please don't reconciled coz of the sake of your child as it may be a bigger mistake in future and caused more damaged to your relationship and affect the child in his/her growing stage. All the best to you.

Answer 3

My husband has female friends and I'm fine with it.

However, staying out all hours with them or going out of his way to spend time with a girl who is supposed to just be a "friend" is not the way he should be treating you. Especially since you and your child should be the most important things in his life. If my husband hangs out with a female friend it's either for lunch or coffee, not for a late dinner or movie. A late dinner or movie is a little too suspicious.

I honestly would not get back together with him, from what you've told me about him. But I don't know his side of the story, what does he say you need to change?

Answer 4

wake up and smell the coffee. Hes making u feel like ur the problem and like u have to change for him. U need to grow some confidence, move on and find someone honest, genuine and caring. At the moment u feel like u need him but u dont, u will get over him, meet someone else and realise what true love is all about.

Answer 5

I believe you know the answer to this yourself. It's just a hard one and you want someone to confirm what you think.

This man is so not into you and you need to get yourself away from him and find someone who will treat you a lot better. It's not good for you to be with someone this selfish who wants you and his girlfriend too. Get away from him, permanently, and regain your pride, self esteem and confidence.

What kind of a role model would this person be for your son? Do you want your son treating women the way his father does? I don't think so.

Best of luck to you - you deserve so much more.

Answer 6

Hmm..your husband might be in love with this girl. But on the other hand, i also have guy friends and sometimes when i need them or they need me, i always ask my fiancees permission. But shouldnt your husband prioritize you instead of her? Its obvious that the other girl is more important to him that you and your child. Maybe he still wants to be married to you but would you want to always be second in his life? You deserve better. Get him out of your life but make sure that you talk to a lawyer so you and your son can be taken care of....Have some Pride..dump him..The right person for you, the one destined to love you forever might be looking for you right not.:)....if you need a friend, i might be miles away but you can always email me:)

Answer 7

He may not be cheating. The girl may be just his normal friend. There may be nothing between them. But if he can't put you and your child as priority, this marriage basically is an failure. If you can accept your husband to treat as less priority, then you may give in, if not, you should know what should be done.

Answer 8

I'd divorce him so fast it would make his head swing. As a parting gift, he'd get the fair share of the bills and an order for child support. Can't say I never gave him anything.

Answer 9

There is no room in a marriage for dating!!! Unless he's dating you. It sounds to me like he wants to spend his time with someone else, I would NOT reconcile with him unless he makes YOU his best friend! If he continued with his antics, I would file for divorce. YOU deserve much more than this, find someone to be YOUR best friend, who will honor and love YOU!

Answer 10

Why would you want someone taht treats you like that? Hes a loser. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect,he doesnt know the meaning of those words.