i have fallen for an old friend who's marriage is just on paper, he provides for his wife & family. He has said he wants me in his life but i do hear excuses quite a lot when we arrange to meet. Am i being foolish to think there is nothing more to our relationship than just sex? He puts most of his efforts into his business because his marriage is dead. We live two hours apart so its a long distance relationship, i am feeling a little insecure what should i do?
2006-08-17 02:56:05 · 36 answers · asked by phildon 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If he is a long time friend sit back relax.I mean date other people go on with your life and if you two were meant to be it will be.(after his divorce)My aunt waited 9 years for her true love even though they grew up as friends. I waited 4 years for my time to be right. Let him figure out where he wants to be and where he wants you to be.
2006-08-24 07:27:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Almost 100 % of the time the adulterer is living a double life, portrays the happy marriage - while sneaking away to feed their appetites for infidelity - its a perfect setup for him - you live two hours away from his life, far enough away he really doesn't have to worry about you being around his family - you are thinking foolishly in your desire for this relationship - don't get played the fool - imagine if you were in the wife's shoes - what about the children - this is a dangerous game - how much can you think of a man that would do this to his significant other - what if he did leave her - established a relationship with you - and then began to tell you he was putting all of his effort in the business when he wasn't around - you would begin to wonder if the same was happening to you - you should break this off - watch and see if he doesn't become angry towards you - most likely he will - write it off as a mistake, pray for forgiveness - move on - actions have consequences - if this were to go on any further you will be very disappointed and you'll will always be wondering what he is up to whenever he isn't around
2006-08-17 03:17:28 · answer #2 · answered by g g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, it seems your feelings are alot stronger than his, you are just a bit of fun, if he has to choose between you and your family, it would be his family and business. If you carry on with this relationship you are the one who will end up getting hurt, because you are saving yourself for him you will start demanding more and he wont help. If he is providing for his family, then why does'nt he end it, find yourself someone else who is for you and you don't have to share him with anyone, i know it is not easy, in the long run you will have made a right choice, men like him want to eat their cake, and no matter what you do together, he will get up and say i have to go home. When you are feeling low he won't be there he will look at the clock and when its time for him to go he has to go. You will feel insecure and no-one should have to go through this in a relationship, if it is love distance should not be a problem, think about it, be strong, it isnt worth it unless he shows you some kind of commitment, wish you luck
2006-08-17 03:11:58 · answer #3 · answered by Ruksana P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry your heart is hurting you and that you feel so down, but to be honest you do need to open your eyes and close down your feelings for a while. You're seeing a married man who says he loves you, he works all the hours god sends and is obviously a good provider for his wife and family. You live two hours away.
I think you will find that his marriage is very good (even though he's seeing you), he will not leave his wife for you, he will make excuses why he can't. You're always available to him and he has his 'little bit on the side'. Yes of course he LIKES you, but believe me he doesn't love you, he loves his wife and it's his wife that will win every time.
Please try and find someone that is single that will give you the love and commitment you so deserve.
I wish you well
2006-08-23 01:39:16 · answer #4 · answered by Curious39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And who told you his marriage was just on paper, him? ha!ha!
Use your brain woman,how many excuses do you have to have before you realise he 's just using you for extra marital sex. With a journey of 2 hours apart, he could tell you anything,and probably is.
If, as you said he puts most of his time into work,his poor wife probably feels just as unloved and insecure as you do.
Go and get your own man,and leave this woman's husband alone.Nothing good will come of this relationship for you, you know in your heart of hearts that it's wrong.
Obviously your not very streetwise,because you would never have fallen for that old story in the first place.
If you have any feelings at all, put yourself in the place of his wife, and ask yourself how you would feel if you found out your husband was having an affair.
I think you know what the best thing to do is,both for you and for his wife and probably family.
2006-08-22 02:18:27 · answer #5 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look at me talking hey.... I support the 2nds wives club....and I am the the 1st wife...but girlfriend I totally agree with the other responces here this guy is no good! either find you single man or find you a married man that will be nonest with about his relationship with his wife.. believe me a dishonest married man will always tell you the marriage is dead, and come home and tear up some stuff! hey if your into married men just get one that is in a open marriage or the wife knows about you... because in this day and time the triangle stuff is very dangerous... so just be honest not matter how it may hurt.
2006-08-17 03:31:25 · answer #6 · answered by Mariam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a load of rubbish .. heard it all before been there done that got the t-shirt even made the film ..
If his marriage was dead he'd leave he wants his cake and eat it .. god woman wake up to ur self they never ever mean wot they say .. I should know i was a mistress for 4yrs and he kept saying he had to stay for the kids then it was he had to stay cos she'd harm herself .. He puts his effort into his business cos he needs the cash no other reason .. so get ur glad rags on girl and get urself out there ... xx good luck xx
2006-08-23 03:17:17 · answer #7 · answered by lizzie d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about what you want out of the relationship.
The fact that you were friends first probably means it is more than just sex, but he has a bond with his wife and children that will be hard to break.
Things start to go wrong when one person wants more than the other in a relationship.... I would be wary of getting in any deeper.
2006-08-17 03:21:32 · answer #8 · answered by ragdoll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok now. when a man is married, he is married. not loving his wife is just another excuse to be with you and also have his wife around. if he really didn't love her, he wouldn't have stayed in the marriage. if he loved u, he would be married to you not her. i don't know why some women just takt men that are not theirs. as long as he is married then he is not the one for you. how would you feel if another woman takes your man away?? his marriage is not dead, he is only distracted by people like you. if he didnt get the emotions and sex from you, he would have made enough effort to get them from his wife and revive his mariage. please stay away and find yourself a single man. this one is taken and as long as he is married then you have no right to fall fall him or wish he was for you..
2006-08-17 03:18:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are thinking that this guy is going to leave his wife for you then you have to be crazy. This relationship is totally based upon sex. Leave him alone cause it is a waste of time having a relationship with a married man.
2006-08-17 03:08:49 · answer #10 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋