Is it possible for a person after a few very bad relationships and getting hurt, to programme himself/herself not to fall in love again to avoid getting hurt again?
2006-08-17 02:32:52 · 19 answers · asked by river2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Nope, sorry.
2006-08-17 02:37:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me personally Yes think is possible. I recently was in a relationship for nine months witha guy that recently had been a relationship witha woman for ten years. She broke his heart and hurt him so bad that he said he would never fall in love again. Every time he caught his self getting close he would pull away. Or he would just do stuff to get me mad to where I didn't want to be around him. He pushed me away and everyone else that tried to get close to him. He said he did that so that he doesn't get hurt again. And it worked i got tired of it all and finally left him alone since thats what he wanted anyway. No use me keeping getting hurt.
2006-08-17 02:51:43 · answer #2 · answered by WildChild 0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but it's an effort and definitely a misguided one.
Those same 'walls' you put up to keep people out of your heart also keep the good ones from getting in. And while that may sound good to you for a while, you'll eventually want to love and trust again and it will be difficult after having blocked people for so long.
Maybe you should 'programme' yourself to just be more aware and to give your love and trust only to those who have genuinely earned it.
Good luck to you.
2006-08-17 02:41:36 · answer #3 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you cannot protect yourself from getting hurt. If you are going to let people in your life --- people you like; people you love; people who like you; people who love you --- then you are going to get hurt. Period. It's just the way it is. People hurt people - unintentionally and unknowingly - sometimes even blithely. We blunder through this life, not always aware of the consequences of what we do, say or how we act. We get in situations which we handle badly - we don't know how to speak up; how to confront; how to love well......and we blunder even more. And we hurt and we get hurt.
But that doesn't mean that we are supposed to just give up! I mean, it's pretty lonely there behind the wall of protection from pain. If you want to ensure that you won't get hurt, then you will have to hide behind that wall of protection. But if you want to live a full life, then you have to get out there and GROW.
I am not reacting well to the "programme" thing.....but I guess you do sorta re-program yourself to handle life situations. You learn how to handle yourself with people; you become more self-aware and develop a sense for what will happen as a consequence of your actions.....all this is on-going (forever, one would hope) to make you a better person. Each situation, good and bad, is a chance to grow rather than to shrink.
The more you grow, the better the chance are you will meet another growing person. You will meet people who will hurt you and you must learn to understand and forgive the inadvertant pain. (The jaw-dropping, "how-could-you" pain is something else altogether - - - but it is a learning experience, too.) And you will meet people who make you happy and joyous and whom you love and who love you.
Behind the wall or in front of it ?
In front of it.
Always.
2006-08-17 02:45:27 · answer #4 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can hide your heart and allow it to turn to stone. But it would be better if you can put the hurt behind you and love again. there is no greater joy than love. And I know from personal experience that there is no greater pain than a broken heart. I am talking to a gentleman now that says he loves me and it scared me to death. He told me "We have to love like never been hurt" and I have come to believe that. So give it another chance.
2006-08-17 02:42:35 · answer #5 · answered by angeldolls4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its called being cautious or putting up walls. Everybody has experienced it and everybody needs to give love a chance even after serious heartbreaks. Dont push yourself away from people, the only person you will be hurting is yourself.
2006-08-17 02:39:31 · answer #6 · answered by arreis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Advise 101. You cannot "program" yourself not to love, yet you can neglect it. I did not too long ago. Neglecting love isn't a smart thing to do. Love is an essential fuel that your body needs emotionally. Without it you become depressed. Depression isn't fun at all...trust me. I decided to try it again, and now I no longer get depressed, love life again, love her, and my life couldn't be happier...well besides all my bills paid..lol, but that's a part of life too. Love is a feeling worth exploring and finding and SHARING. ~JUStin
2006-08-17 02:58:40 · answer #7 · answered by JUStin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father has his heart broken by a few girls, and he's moving very slowly now, but making progress with his ex-girlfriend. Meanwhile, my step-dad has 8 ex-wives, but he still married my mother. You can do what you want, but my advice to you is move slowly while making a little progress each time you take a step. Then, you could actually fall in love like you truely mean it. :)
2006-08-17 02:52:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is possible to put up thick, high, strong walls around your heart so that none can reach you. Unfortunately what you don't realize is that what you are really building is a self impossed prison.
Also, sadly, you end up robbing yourself of the wonder and splendor of loving someone to the full.
2006-08-17 02:39:54 · answer #9 · answered by Bud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, i know someone that has, but in saying that she is only hurting herself in the long run by doing so.
2006-08-17 02:38:34 · answer #10 · answered by Mintjulip 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is impossible you will fall in love again once you meet that special person.
2006-08-17 02:39:00 · answer #11 · answered by Lil mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋