After a year of emotional rollercoaster during our break-up.... we finally got the chance to talk.. me and my ex-boyfriend.. he still wants me back but I don't.. he was the one who broke up with me..
I feel so insecure about so many things at the moment.. But I do want to have a family someday.. I'm so scared about many things..
I still love the guy and care for him... but i wanted the closure and got it...
Moving on is so hard because we're together at church band.... and sometimes, i just can't control myself not to communicate with him..
Any advise on how to move on and just leave it all behind without hurting people.....
2006-08-17 01:46:40 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's simple in a way: start dating again with other men.
It's the quickest way to forget your ex-bf.
2006-08-17 01:51:01 · answer #1 · answered by cordefr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it. Read here https://tr.im/NIb9u
Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you don't think you like the person anymore.
2016-07-19 00:16:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate. Sometimes you fall in love with someone and it is only later that you find out how distructive the relationship is on you, but you still care for the person.
In guy terms, it is difficult to remain friendly with your most recent ex. You have had such an emotional investment and now you have to take it down a notch or two, but you wish it was the same. It seems most women don't have a problem with it, and would like to still be friends. Even at that, there is always a chance you meet someone that gets under your skin and stays there.
You move on by moving on. Talk to other guys. You don't have to get in another relationship this soon, but you need to at least open up to other people. You sound like someone that was pretty exclusive when you are in a relationship. You got use to not flirting, etc. Flirting can be good for you at this time, I think you should try it. Be civil with your ex, but by all means, don't flirt with him. Once you start getting the attention from other guys through the flirting process, it will be easier to move on.
2006-08-17 02:02:18 · answer #3 · answered by Mr Cellophane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, it seems like you do not know what you want!!
Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself this question, if he was the one to break it up, what was the reason and why does he want to resume it now. The minute that you are not comfortable with a person, it will definitely not be wise to persue a relationship - what will it be based on. You do not even have the common ground of trust - how are you going to go further.
You need to really look into your soul and ask yourself if this is what you want - and when you get the answer you will know what to do.
For myself, I would just move on, and allow myself the chance of finding someone who I can love and trust and who can love me in return.
Moving on is always the most difficult part of life. You just have to give yourself the chance of meeting other people - maybe join another band or group. You had feelings for him, as long as you are in the same vicinity you will not be able to move on - remember he broke it off, not you, so your feelings are still there. Therefore, move on and live.
2006-08-17 01:58:51 · answer #4 · answered by aew2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the 10-second drill: Unless you are 100% sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, then don't get back together with him. Don't get tunnel vision here: This guy is by no means your only chance to get married and start a family. You can still be civil/friendly to him, and I would encourage you to do so, but if he pushes the issue, just tell him the truth about how you feel. It sounds like the year after your break-up was a mess and you just wanted it all to be over, so tell him you don't want to go through all that ever again. He may be hurt, but hey, he's the one who started it in the first place by breaking up with you. It's great that you're thinking about his feelings in all this, but don't use that as an excuse to get back together with him. Do what's right for you. Good luck!
2006-08-17 01:53:43 · answer #5 · answered by sarge927 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
woman I had that take place to me luckily i'm approximately 5 states away so i do no longer could face my previous such as you at band prepare and performances. i might extremely recommend which you the two pass away the band or recover from him. i are conscious of it rather is going to take it slow abrupt unfounded wreck-united statesare painful to recover from incredibly while the guy breaks up with you. in case you extremely think of approximately it you have closure yet you have already have been on condition that now your thinking "What would desire to we've been"? the only authentic way you will even start to go on and positioned it at the back of you is to love lower back. So sturdy luck and in case you may stay interior the band you may face your previous so pass in there and take him gently!
2016-09-29 09:02:37 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/NC1Na
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.
2016-04-22 01:39:27 · answer #7 · answered by tony 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after reading what you wrote...well...
just leave it as it is...
You dont need to avoid him to be able to forget the feelings you have for him. Because the more you try to avoid it the more it becomes noticeable (on your part). Treat him as a friend and leave it at that..
but i got a question for you...If you still love him and he loves you...then why do you prevent it from happening?
anyways, whatever is your reason..or reasons...
Dont punish yourself by keeping it all inside and being insecure ...i am sure you have good qualities that you can be really be proud of...and being single aint that bad...gives you a lot more freedom to be yourself and to..of course...a lot more freedom to go around to look/wait for the right guy....
2006-08-17 01:53:35 · answer #8 · answered by Jacky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's a nice guy, he will undertand, and he will back off.
If he's not a nice guy he will keep at it, which is not good for you, as you sound like you need some you/confidence building time.
So kick him in his balls.
There are many many more nice guys out there to have a family with, and most of them wont have damaged balls like this guy may very well have soon.
2006-08-17 01:55:50 · answer #9 · answered by Drean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart if you don't move on with your life soon your going to end up back where you started. Is that what you really want? When you find someone else to be with those feeling will pass.Go on with your dreams,and leave the pass in the pass.Good luck.
2006-08-17 01:53:05 · answer #10 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its time to stay strong for you. Your ex will move on too. It is not your responsibility to not hurt him or make things right for him. It is your responsibility to not hurt YOU and make things right for YOU. He has to take care of himself. This is just the way it is. You feel like you have to take care of him because we women are all taught we need to take care of others - especially men. But they are grown and if they can't take care of themselves it is time to learn. And actually, by what you are doing, you are helping him learn to take care of himself.
You don't have to stop communicating with him either. You just have to be clear about boundaries - whatis acceptible and what is not. Good Luck.
2006-08-17 01:54:23 · answer #11 · answered by noitall147 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋