As a single mother to a newborn, how were you able to support yourself & your child?

Question

I'm 3 months pregnant and I'm going to be a single mother. Ex isn't it the picture (with another woman). I have a great job which allows maternity leave, but I'm worried about so many things:
-how to find the right baby sitter
-is a care center better for a baby?
-how to find emotional support for myself, because I don't have a big family/ circle of friends
-how to find a positive male figure for my baby-- i know it's early, but the sooner i think about it, the better

i'm just really cautious about it. i'm so happy about having this baby, i just want to provide him with all the love/resources possible to make him a healthy person

Answer 1

A good day care will be fine for your baby. Make sure they're accredited.

Emotional support - the baby. You'd be surprised how much holding that little one can calm you. You will need to get out from time to time, but the only thing you'll be able to think about will be the baby anyway.

Don't be so quick about trying to find the right man. Hurrying = desperation. Get your parental life together first. When the right one comes along, you'll know it. Don't push too hard. It'll work itself out.

Mine's 14, and I'm still patient about it. It'll happen when it happens.

Answer 2

Well, cross positive male figure off your list. You don't need to be thinking about that right now, you have bigger things to worry about.

You have maternity leave and a great job, be thankful for that. That's the biggest problem that single mothers face, and you already have it. Finding a babysitter or a child care center is not going to be that hard to do. Start looking a few weeks before you're going to go back to work.. and screen carefully. There are great resources that will help you look for the right one.

There are plenty of Mommy and Me classes for new mothers. You may even meet some women in a birthing class if you're going to take one that might need support too.. look where you can. You are going to need support. You can start to research mother and child programs in your area, and you'll make friends there.

You don't need a positive male figure for the baby right now. What you need is to think about you and the baby.... and that means Your time with him/her.. your emotional needs.. and making sure the baby is well cared for. A man will come at the right time.... you can do the rest yourself.

Answer 3

I would suggest finding a church that you like. I joined a non-denominational church and they do not frown upon people. my husband and I are both recovering alcoholics who had our children out of wedlock. Our Church has a SMILE group (Supporting Others In a Loving Environment) And they have helped a lot with advice and support. Also you could stay at home and babysit some kids during the day I would suggest 3-5 year olds, they are old enough that they don't need to be picked up, but young enough that they will still take a nap so you and the baby can take one at the same time. You should be able since you are a single mom, to get aid through the government for health insurance so that you and your baby are still covered. Good Luck cherish your chil they are only young once!

Answer 4

I can understand just how you feel... I'm also a single mother and the baby's father is also out of the picture. (with another woman too.) He doesnt know the baby and the baby has my last name.

But my dear friend, believe me, it can be done. You do not need him in the picture, specially if he doesn't want to be. It is better this way.

About day care, I can't give you much advice, since my mother baby sits my son. Only thing I can say is look around, be sure they are credited and that there is a good child/adult ratio. Also ask co-workers... Maybe they can suggest a good day care they have already tried.

Emotional support... it is very important. In my case I had my parents... specially my dad who even assisted my in my labor. You can join a support group. Check in your community, specially where they give prenatal classes, they usually have support groups where moms meet and exchange worries and stories about the new babies.

A positive male figure is also important... like I said I have my father for example. You dont say anything about your father, cause that may be a good option... Like you said, it is soon for that... as a newborn he won't need it right away... But believe me, you will find somebody.... just be patient and cautious about it... as a pregnant woman you will be very sensitive... Dont want any man playing with your feelings...

Your situation reminds me so much of mine, it hurts...

But I know you will be a terrific mom and your son/daughter will be very proud of you...

If you need anything, dont hesitate to write, believe me, i know just how you feel.

Answer 5

Hi, I've been where you are. Contact your local DFACS and see if they assist in finding childcare at a reduced rate. As far as emotional support goes, I was directed to a church and I honestly believe that was the single best piece of advice I received my entire pregnancy. It's going to be hard doing it on your own, especially those days/nights that the baby is just crying and you can't figure out why. It'll be really good for you to have some sort of support system in place before the baby is here. As far as a positive male figure, one will come. Watch and see. When you stop looking, he'll arrive.

Answer 6

I went to school and worked my 9 months. I stayed with my mom so I had no bills and was able to save save and save. When Malakhai was born we moved out. I stayed home until he was 3 months then I put him into kinder-care a daycenter that my 4 yr old cousin already attended so i knew they were good cause before he went there he was bad as hell now he has wonderful manners hes not super hyper and his vocabulary is huge.


Positive male figure i dont know about that one every male in my life is shady. My sons positive male figure is my 13 year old brother who is still a little boy.

As for childcare goes you should see if they have a Child Care Council in your area out here in cali they help you with paying for childcare dependind on how much u make they pay a percentage.

Answer 7

What a lovely caring person you sound ! Your life will change completely when your baby arrives, life will be tough, however you sound sensible and I am positive your natural maternal instincts will kick in and that everything will be fine. I am sure that your health carer will be able to give you answers to all your questions. I wish you loads of luck and best wishes.

Answer 8

if she's due in some weeks then she does not have that plenty time. each and every thing with the government is slow slow slow. you may desire to start via calling your city hall and get connected with a social worker. they'll practice you the ropes. touching directly to welfare, each and every thing given to you via the government is technically welfare so in basic terms tell her to take what she desires and characteristic a plan to get off the help. it appears like she'll be high quality, yet get in touch with a social worker and be sure the youngster is roofed if there are issues with the beginning or neonatal care. And tell your chum to locate a greater clever guy. no you'll be relationship a Kevin Ferderline.

Answer 9

go to your local job and family services now , they can help you...sitter has background check. your hospital has support groups like le letche, i think that's how it's spelled. don't worry about looking for that " male figure" at least now.... alot of kids don't have one and are ok. everything will work out ok for you.