What happened till death do us part?

Question

Once upon a time marrige was sacred & for life. Nowadays it seems we get marred just because we feel/are physicaly attracted to another person. Note, another person - male or female or same sex. Not thinking about if we really can live together forever. Also, we often live with our partners rather than marry them. Why do you think we've ended up like this in many case.

I'm single but have many friends who's marriges have ended or in some sort of difficulty. Have seen it far to many times & just thought I'd put this question to those interested. So far, 21 answers & non have been out of text. Marrige is dying but not for all. Society is causing this in my opinion but I'm glad to see there are those who have beaten the pressures & are still together,.

Some here say stay as Boyfriend/Girlfriend. Fair enough I say, but what stops either half walking out after a major argument? Where is your real commitment to each other or is it fear as the relationship continues we may drift apart & do not wish for legal complications in the future. A, but I say, what about the kids you may have. No-one talks about them, we mention them but the real impact is there. Too often we only talk about us & rarely the whole picture. Maybe I'm on the wrong site here but I like giving "food for thought"

Answer 1

Okay before I started to answer this I had to take a deep breath and relax.
I agree that people these days, would rather live together than to go threw the whole rigamarole of getting married, along with the simple fact that it is just cheaper to live together then to get married because with you are married or not and live together and then decide to seperate it cost money if the two of you are fighting over belongings, so it is just cheaper somehow.
You also have to take into account the relationships of people that are in abusive relationships and if they were married then getting away would be so much harder.
The kids well yes there is till death do us part, because for the rest of your lives you have something to do with the other when there are children present. But society tells us that it is better for a child to be from a broken home, living with a single parents rather then to be raised in a family setting where there is screaming and many other sad things going on in the household.

So I think that we ended up like this in many cases because women took a stand and will put up with less from the male speices, and men have learned that they have a easy way out when ever there is a problem, along with not having to spend a lot of money for a ring and wedding.
However you can also look at it this way, We have all just gotten lazy on the matter and don't want to work that hard for something when the easier thing to do is to move on and find someone else to enjoy for the time that we are alive.
Hope that you got all the answers that you were looking for.
Not really sure there are any right or wrong answers for this question.
good luck and may you find the one that holds till death do you part close to his/her heart.

Answer 2

If you would make your question less complex. You are expecting Answerers to dissect your questions.

In summary, marriages don't last anymore because of modern lifestyles. Too many distractions in the home. There need not be mistresses or boyfriends on the fringes. Just the TV, the internet, Yahoo. Answer7 are enough distractions. Many are married to their jobs to meet the cost of modern lifestyle.

Also quite many marriages and relationships were formed from shallow commitments, and therefore no strong foundations to hold them together for long.

Marriages these days therefore become like shopping. Buy a shirt today, find another one tomorrow, and chuck out the first one the following day.

The world is getting more an more selfish with people hanging on to their own personal needs than that of their family's or spouses/partners.

Answer 3

Its because people just dont care anymore. Honestly, (and all you womens lib freaks dont have a cow) I beleave that all the womens liberation, and rights have really caused a lot of this. The fact that it was so easy for them to get out in the workforce and just make money, they stopped caring about the family as much as they used to, and now, men have gotten so used to this that it does'nt faze them. So now there is nobody that looks at people wrongly, or preaches or even ingrades it into there children that its wrong to be like this, (living together and or not even trying to make marriage work) I beleave that if thigns were to go to the way they used to be that maybe it would'nt be so bad. Maybe marriages would last a bit longer, and children would turn out a bit more normal, and people would be happier than they have been since they have allowed themselves to become the way they are now. I for one am all for stay at home wives and mothers, and so on and so fourth. (yes I am a woman, and I work part time, and take care of my husband. do the cooking cleaning laundry and so on so fourth and we have a very happy marriage, and a good strong one) another thing that is a problem is the lack of church/God in peoples relationships/life. If we could get back to this again, then things would change a bit again. People's marriages would last, and they would'nt want to just live together.
Now I will step down off of my soap box and say thank you and let the stoning begin (because I'm sure I'll get a lot of people who are going to disagree with me and tell me all kinds of bad things)

Answer 4

Its just how generations have moved on and now there are more important things, and alot of the time the ones who do get married end up getting divorced because they've rushed the relationship - not good, and becuase everything is so expensive these days, those who just live with each other and never get married - as much as they love each other they feel they are happy with the way things are and not risk marriage if it means a possiblity of divorce in the future.
A quote i like to keep in mind when my time comes to getting married (if i do)
You don't marry someone because you can live with them.
You marry someone because you can't live without them.

And also people have started to realise that they don't need a wedding to signify their love for one another,
unfortunately things arent as simple as they may well have been a decade ago....

Answer 5

I call my girlfriend my wife....we've known each other for 11 years and dated on and off......we've been together solidly for 5 years and have a 4 y/o daughter.....we have been engaged for a long time and haven't spent a day apart since we got together.....we've lived together the entire time.....however when we first got engaged it was like ok great we'll get maried and blah blah blah now its like oh well whats the big deal......we are practically married anyway.....I work and shes a stay at home mom.....marriage isn't that important anymore....it lost its luster after a while.......as far as death do us part......if it wasn't for divorce there would be a lot of dead people in marriages.......two of my friends dads killed there moms over the "death do us part" line.......I think my answer was comepletely off but I typed therefore I post.....you aren't having marital troubles are you?

Answer 6

I agree with you , The best thing for couples to do is move in with one another and see if they are truly compatible! After a years time if the relationship is still strong and they know deep down in their hearts that they are truly meant for one another then they should get married! The reason why most people do not marry each other any more or they get divorced, is because they are ignorant and afraid of allowing their true love for one another as well as the love for their children to honestly flow! And that is being totally selfish to everyone including their selves!!!!!
I understand that a marriage is an everlasting commitment! But it seems like people are to afraid to give their whole being to someone that they truly love because they are insecure about the way that things are going to turn out! What most people should be frightened about is how it is going to affect them on judgment day in the eyes of the Lord!!!!!!

Answer 7

I agree divorce seems to be a fad these days. I think its because women fantasize about the wedding not the marriage. Marriage takes hard work and then more hard work. Most people dont understand the true reality of it until they have already done it. There first instinct is to run from something when they dont feel like they can handle it anymore. I divorced my first husband. I refuse to have another divorce, I will work on this one til the day I die. I refuse to give up this time no matter what! We have already been through way too much.

Answer 8

I think it should be a lot harder to get married than it is to divorce.

When my husband and I fell in love, we were apart for a year (military) before we were married. We spent 30 days together that year, and wrote hundreds of letters. We discussed what we wanted in our lives, books, music, politics, and our love for one another. We will soon be married 25 years.
I don't think people ever left the me generation. Instant gratification seems to be the norm. Love, marriage, commitment are like credit card purchases, don't like it , return it. Want a new car? It's easier to have a live-in lover, you can trade both in for newer models and the live-in is much cheaper in more ways than one.

People will fight at the drop of a slur about issues of the day, and hardly a word about love and honor 'til death do us part.

Answer 9

There was a time when it was thought a moral blight if one divorced. It was also a time when Church meant more to us. Then along came the dissenters and poof! marriage as we knew it was gone.
Now we don't have to stay in loveless homes, eating and drinking with someone we'd rather see from a distance.

Till death do us part? Some women and men lived in a perpetual stated of living death because of the way things were.

Making someone take a *vow* is wrong and once we got past that nonsense discovered that we could stay with someone without having to be legally tied to them.

And speaking of which, that was purely for inheritence (sp) purposes.

Marriage was sacred right up to the time where he killed her after spending years beating her and the kids. Marriage was sacred while she stayed home minding the many children he had saddled her with while he went out to drink and fool around. Marriage was sacred as long as men thought they were gods and women their footstools.

Things change...thank god/dess they do.

Answer 10

People change, they grow up and sometimes apart. Marry an Indian girl if you want a soul mate forever, they never divorce. I found this out to late, and anyway, Indians are predjudice, they will not marry outside their faith, well, not often. If you can over come the racism of Indians, you will find the perfect partner. I'm married to an Asian girl, they are not easy, but if you follow their rules it's forever. I have looked for a soul mate for eons, i am forever, but European girls are not, It's something to do with HALF and lawyers.