2006-08-16 23:37:38 · 20 answers · asked by monjka l 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Okay, I'm going to have to refer to a cheesy book: please bear with me.
An ex-girlfriend of mine kept a copy of 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' in her loo. I needed something to read in the toilet - that's the only reason I read it. Honest.
Aaanyway, the book basically says that when in times of trouble, women look to share the problem with friends and value the support and sympathy that these friends can give; even if the friends are unable to offer any tangible help.
Men, on the other hand, prefer to either sort the problem themselves or seek help only from people who are able to directly help them solve the problem. They don't like talking problems through with other people, they see this as just moaning or futile 'woe is me' self-pity.
Assuming that you can't offer your bloke a job, give him a bit of space. Your well meaning offer of a sympathetic ear will come across to him as nosiness and a desire for him to admit just how impotent he is in this situation. He'll already be feeling down already and having to admit to another person (especially someone like a girlfriend who he's supposed to impress) that he's in a bit of a hole will make him feel worse.
Let him know you love and support him and then back off: he'll come to you if and when he wants to talk about it.
2006-08-16 23:54:31 · answer #1 · answered by paffmagic 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
give him your total support just by being your usual self. Do not press him to find a job, let him take his time to decide. i know, we've been there for a while and it is very difficult.
If you can help him financially, do not press him to take money from you, he might feel 'less of a man' if he does, although you would only be doing it to help him.
Offer to go with him in the car if he has any interviews coming, but do not press him. Ask him if he wants to talk about something when you see him quite and upset, but if he does not feel like talking, let him be, it is already stressful to be without a job, more when you have committments. But it is more stressful trying to show off as if nothing happens but feeling as if the world is falling apart on your shoulder, like he must be feeling now.
2006-08-17 06:51:06 · answer #2 · answered by trushka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you want to help but there's very little you can do, when men especially loose their jobs they take it a little harder than women, I think it's the old men ahve to be the breadwinner thing! All you can do is support him in what he's going through, offer to go to job centres and recruitment agencies with him and help him find more work. DO NOT tell him it's not a big deal, to him it is and he'll just figure that you're a woman who doesn't understand, let him know you love him just as much with or without a job, but at the same time make sure he gets one soon, before he becomes reliant on you.
2006-08-17 06:43:54 · answer #3 · answered by Katie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are trying everything to help him but he gets upset.most guys get intimideted buy the though of him being supported by a woman,he is just angry at the moment give him time to heal,losing a job is painful.he was used to support you know the though of not taking care of you scares him and doesn't know how to tell you his feeling,give him time to absorb everything and the lost he has in his heart.soon he'll come around.keep on telling him the sweet word,he just doesn't know how to respond.
2006-08-17 06:48:54 · answer #4 · answered by Faith Nelisiwe N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now he is feeling at his lowest, and even though you mean well, he doesn't feel like a good man when you are talking about it. Just stand behind him and help him go on and remember that everything happens for a reason. Maybe him losing that job is going to open up another door for him that wouldn't have otherwise been open for him.
2006-08-17 06:44:04 · answer #5 · answered by {Lisa} 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he shouldn't be taking anything out on you in the first place - you're supporting him. I'd remind him of that and then give him some space. He will probably come to you in the end.
2006-08-17 06:43:35 · answer #6 · answered by Mum-Ra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave him alone for a bit and he will come round in his own time. Maybe he just needs to some space!
2006-08-17 06:43:33 · answer #7 · answered by Angelkiss85 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him support and help him look for a new job
2006-08-17 06:41:53 · answer #8 · answered by Blade 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your "sweet words" upset him, then just be all cuddles and smiles until he wants to talk some...
...He'll come around, just be patient.
2006-08-17 06:44:56 · answer #9 · answered by Bush Whacker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying.
Give him a bit of space to get his thoughts together, wait for him to approach you.
2006-08-17 06:42:18 · answer #10 · answered by Matthew Hatton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋