I am now in my first interracioanl realtionship, but I am having trouble with my 8 yr old daughter. Im not sure what the problem may be. I really like this guy he has one child aswell. I am not sure if it is the fact that I am with someone else other than her dad or if its because the guy I am dating a guy is from another race (black). I have dated after I spilt with the father, but this is the first guy that I have ever introduced to the my kids (oh I have a 4 yr old boy and no problem with him). I really like this guy. We have been seeing each other for going on 7 months. What type of advice can you give me to help my daughter out. When my man and I are together she gets upset and ignores me I give her the attention that she needs, but that still doesn't seem to work. I have also asked her to let me know what it is about him that she does not like, but she won't give me a straight answer. I really feel that this relationship is going somewhere, but I also want her to feel him.
2006-08-16 23:16:39 · 7 answers · asked by Crystal Ball 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Crystal The answer that says dump your guy is totally out of order ... I cant say I'm not racist as I think Ive only ever met two dark guys in my life( not to common in my neck of the woods ), but at the same time you have found someone that's good for you and fills your needs and desires and you reciprocate so its all good . I Think that your daughter is not a racist but is feeling just a little like the kid that has to share her favorite candy , If told to share she will but boy is she going to do it with attitude , you are her candy and she has to share you with this stranger and his kid, "that you also have to show love and your favor to.",
Its just my opinion that you need to sit down and tell her that she is still equally with her brother the most important thing in your life and how her actions are hurting you and your new partner and how you need your fiends as much as she needs hers how would she deal with the fact that she had to give up a near and dear Friend if you demanded it , its just not fare . I would ask if her friends might be filling her head with hatered or foolishness kids can be pretty mean about things of this nature
2006-08-17 00:14:13 · answer #1 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all children are going to accept replacement of a Father or Mother in the family. Your Daughter is enterring into the age when Daddy is extremely important to her and she's probably savvy to the fact that this is likely to be the new man of the house. I'd suggest you just give her time. Let her get used to your Black Man friend before he starts to take on the mantle of father to her. Do what you can to include him in activities she enjoys so that they have a chance to build a friendship.
2006-08-16 23:31:20 · answer #2 · answered by W0LF 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When children are racist, it usually means they were brought up in a racist household. Since you don't seem to be, I doubt that your boyfriend's race is a factor. It's probably more the fact that he's the first man in your life since you divorced your husband.
Why don't you sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with your daughter? She should be able to express her feelings adequately at 8.
2006-08-16 23:21:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, sweetie......dump the back man. That will cause you nothing but problems especially if you end up pregnant. Having a mixed race child is one of the sins of the world. They never belong............always outcasts. Chances are this won't work out and the child would be stuck for life with nothing but rejection. I have a few friends who are teachers and this is what they see. Just stay with your own kind! You child is smarter than you.....she is giving you that message!
2006-08-16 23:23:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, the only thing i know - girls are bitches. i got married second time i have 3 boys - they had no problems with my husband. they don't love him maybe, but they never show it. but his brats daugters (he has 2, they live with mother) never accepted me and don't even want to meet with me. so they are ignoring me. the only solution we found with my husband - ignore them as well. he said them -either they accept me as his wife or they won't see him again. they haven't seen him for a while. so the only siggestion i have - stop being manipulated by your daughter. say her that u love this man and going to be with him whether she likes it or not. she won't have no choise just to accept him. this i told to my boys. they seem to be ok. your daughter is just craving for your undivided attention and manipulating u. just say no. good luck.races have nothing to do with this question
2006-08-16 23:39:58 · answer #5 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could get a school counselor to talk with her. She probably won't tell you because she's likely afraid of hurting your feelings with the truth.
2006-08-16 23:22:24 · answer #6 · answered by Catmmo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
children at this stage r likely to react this way.
handle them with care and patience and everything would be alright.
2006-08-16 23:27:31 · answer #7 · answered by Kumar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋