My rules are: 1) Don't bring anything home. No women, no babies and no diseases. 2)Do not get involved in another relationship. Keep it to one night stands. Do not give out personal information such as phone numbers, addresses or screen names, so as not to lead another woman into thinking you want to see her again.
My husband broke rule 2 and lied to me about it. We were overseas at the time he started that relationship, but he continues to chat with her and even tell her he loves her. There's not much of a chance he'll ever see her again, but he still lied to me. Lies are the ultimate sin to me.
Do I put the past behind me and give him another chance? This woman does comment that I am number 1 in my husband's heart. Or do I confront him with the evidence, then hand him his walking papers? He broke the rules and lied to me once, he may do it again.
2006-08-16 22:05:21 · 16 answers · asked by Lady Wraith 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
okay.... open marriage wife... when you decide to have a open marriage then you have to be able to handle if things don't go just like you agreed... we as humans make mistakes,,, and just like he loves you and feelings for you....hey he made love to her and have feelings for her too... not saying he don't have a different feeling for you... you said she is over seas.. it will be okay... be understanding to his feelings for her and give it some time to get over her, you are still his #1 heart.. and please don't listen to these people telling you to destroy your marriage, it will be okay,,, give it sometime,,,,he is not hurting anything by talking to this person on the Internet... hey have him talk to you about her..and let him know that it bothers you to see him chating with her... it is not going to be easy for him to just get rid of his feelings over night so I wouldn't suggest you tell him to cold turkey this but, maybe just work on it.... I repeat ask him if he is really serious about her and if he would like to be with her or he would just like to have her as a friend...and be prepared for the answers... or open marriage...ignore it...eventually he will lose interest she is too far to get to. and please...look at your situation and be real, don't live in a fantasy like many women live in believing their husband will never cheat on them.. he's not a bad man because he had feelings for another woman , you gave him permission to have feelings for someone else...so allow him the time to get over his feelings and allow him to be honest with you about it, dont blame him for being human,, allow him to be honest and set the rules and enforce the rules for the next time if their is a next time, .. good luck! p.s Please dont feed on these people half of the people talking are either divorced or not married or just male bashers, or dreaming that their husband have never screwed around on them! believe me if they havent if they stay married long enough one of them will.... I have 14 years of experience....
2006-08-16 22:54:24 · answer #1 · answered by Mariam 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You do have an open relationship. What he did is not that big of a deal. He will tell this woman anything in order to see her again if they were to ever cross paths in life. You are a woman and think about what a man would need to tell you if he wanted to see you again. How many women are going to be intimate with a man if he tells her that he is happy at home but just wants to have sex on occasions. Men will go as far as telling a woman they love them when their true thoughts of them are they think of them as a whore. Don't end your marriage over something so petty. He only lied to you because of the rules. Ask him to explain to you what goes on in his head and make sure he knows that you are not going to be upset with him no matter what he says. You will hear some interesting things and feel more secure between you and him the more you open that line of communication.
2006-08-16 23:46:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The whole open marriage thing is a scam for infidelity with a blessing. The rules are a joke. If you expect that a human can have sexual relations with someone and not gain some emotional attachment, however slight, you are misguided. Our makeup does not allow it. You've also discovered the other risk, that there is something there that he wants to revisit which is not necessarily better but different. He will not be able to give up this lifestyle now that Pandora's box is open. So its put up with it or goodbye. You should not be so upset about his lie. You've been lying to yourself that this could work.
2006-08-16 23:49:48 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One night stands are OK, but relationships are not?
I don't mean to offend you, but your rules are WRONG and your marriage is NOT a marriage. If you wanted to play by this sort of rules, why on earth did you get married in the first place? I am afraid you are the victim of your own rules now.
2006-08-16 22:26:58 · answer #4 · answered by dalia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL why bother? You didn't really think this would work out did you? Its one of those seemed like a good idea at the time things that you look back on and can't ever imagine what seemed good about it. Your marriage is a joke anyway....come on! Seriously, go screw other people but we'll still call ourselves married? What is that anyway? And what exactly is the point?
2006-08-16 23:14:44 · answer #5 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't quite understand how you could be ok with his sleeping around and you say it is "an open" marriage so I am assuming that you sleep around also?But you are ready to send him packing because he told you a lie!. An open marriage is nothing more than a living arrangement of convenience.
Marriage is a union, a commitment between a man and a woman.A vow to be honest and true to the one you are committed to. When there is no commitment,there is no trust to begin with!
2006-08-16 22:32:58 · answer #6 · answered by Jo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel that the type of relationship you both had is not a game rules don't enter into it. You are real people and the one thing you have to remember is that you are just that. I would say give him another chance. This could have been you.
2006-08-16 22:21:15 · answer #7 · answered by robert d 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Lie to me once, shame on you. Lie to me twice, shame on me.
Once lied to, the trust exists no more. He tells her he loves her even though he is with you. Time for you to close this chapter and ride off in to the sunset, alone.
It seems that he broke more than just the rules. He broke your heart as well.
2006-08-16 22:39:57 · answer #8 · answered by Mark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let's face it.. an open marriage without any rules is nonsense. And forget putting up with a lying and sinful husband..it never pays off
2006-08-16 22:18:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The rule is thy shalt not commit adultery, try it , its works, God made these rules for a reason, Forgive and try to live by the rule book that works ,THE BIBLE
2006-08-16 22:13:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋