met my boyfriend last year, he was seperated from his wife and the attraction was overwhelming, like we'd always known eachother. he told me he'd never felt this way and eventually i left my marriage, job and friends and moved country to be with him. until 2 weeks ago things were great, he had the date we met tattooed on his forearm, bought me an eternity ring and we were happily planning our future. then he went to england to visit his kids and has come back a different man. he says he wants to try again with his ex-wife for the sake of the kids, says he'd rather be miserable for the rest of his life than see his kids suffer. he has asked me to leave our flat and has moved one of his mates in.has been indifferent and mean to me and now has pics of his wife in the flat, though he couldn't stand her 3 weeks ago. don't get it, how can he change so much so quickly and if he was playing from the start, why the tattoo, etc? he promised me the world and i feel such a fool...
2006-08-16 22:05:06 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think your chap has fell victim to the old saying 'thinking the grass was greener'.... He obviously found something with you that had gone from his married life which was new and fresh and probably lots of lust. In reality this is good in the short term but like anything you prefer to return to the comfort zone which, for him is his marriage and his kids. It is just a bit shitty that you got dragged through the mil whilst he decided what it was he wanted. Dust yourself down girl and get on with your life, use this as a learning experience.
2006-08-17 02:54:23 · answer #1 · answered by EMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot of people try to make things work for the sake of the kids even if it means giving up there own happiness.
Its only natural for him to want to be there for his kids and if the only way he can do that is to try to make things work with his wife then thats what he will do.
There must have been something that attracted him to his wife in the first place and maybe it all went wrong when the kids arrived, if he has seen his wife and thinks that there is enough between them to at least give it one last try for the sake of the kids, you have no choice but to accept his choice and move on with your life.
Chances are he will come running back to you as a shoulder to cry on when he gets fed up with his wife and your relationship will end up becoming one of you being his "bit on the side", Do you really want to be the other woman in a relationship?
He is treating you bad so you will leave the flat and is doing his best to make you uncomfortable by moving his mate into the flat but you love him but you need to move on before you throw away your life being his mistess and end up missing all the chances for happiness with another man.
Forget this loser and find youself some real happiness because you deserve better!
2006-08-16 22:48:16 · answer #2 · answered by matdevine21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP DATING MARRIED MEN! You should absolutely feel foolish and you got exactly what you deserved. You selfishly left your loving husband for the first man that asked you to have sex with him and now you are getting your comeuppance for your faithlessness. Let me tell you a little secret for future reference. If you plan on sleeping with married men then keep in mind that if he had any intentions of divorcing his wife then he would have done so by the time he'd met you. You say he was already separated when you met him but have you asked him why he was separated and whose decision it was? Did he tell you the truth? Because I think his wife threw his cheating *** out. Maybe you should call her and ask what really happened.
I can't believe you actually swallowed that BS about his kids suffering. He has already left the home and his kids have adjusted to him not being a live-in part of their lives. Don't kid yourself sweetheart this is all about him wanting his wife back. She was always number one to him. You were just sex on tap while he tried to work thing out with her. What you need to do now is move out of his flat, leave him alone and try getting back your husband (if he wants you back after what you did). Get your life back on track and stay away from other women's husbands.
2006-08-16 22:46:59 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he was separated from his wife is not the issue. The fact that he was STILL married is. You failed to see that he probably didn't have any intentions of leaving his family. Instead you gave up your own marriage for an empty promise. Chances are, he had a big change of heart and decided that losing his kids over you was not worth it. He already made up his mind. There's nothing you can do but move on. That's why they say: The grass may look greener on the other side of the fence but it doesn't mean it is. Good luck!
2006-08-16 22:44:44 · answer #4 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Throw the whole flippin lot BACK AT HIM...First ov all you have your rights to the flat so don't move, 2nd go out wiv ya camera and carefully take a few photos ov a gorgeous male, get em printed, frame em and stick em up round the flat, then see what happens, don't give in and don't tell him he's not a boyfriend and don't tell him he is either, just say it's your business not his, let his imagination run riot. Then if he is still on his ego trip WHICH is what it is because his X wife has done the running...Go get ya self someone who really cares. Also he using the kids as an excuse not a reason...his children obviously mean the world to him don't they ? as he left them in the first place. Don't take doing it for the kids crap co's he's NOT he's doing it to gain something for himself....Oh yeah and GUYS that read this WOMEN do the same I not discriminating OKAY
2006-08-16 23:15:05 · answer #5 · answered by Denise W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many years ago I held my boyfriend in my arms all night long while he cried over the loss of his children. He went back to his separated wife too, because of the children. His wife always knew that he was only there for the children and their relationship died a painful death.
I moved on and met and married a sweet guy, never had kids and left him after 14 years.
I married again, had three children but am now divorced and a single mum.
I would do it all again for love.
It hurts like hell but life does go on.
2006-08-17 01:34:41 · answer #6 · answered by Amanda K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids have a strong hold over parents - they and his wife obviously made him fel so guilt-ridden that he has decided to give it another go. So sorry you broke up your own marriage for this but I would guess you weren't happy with it anyway. You have to just move on and go back home and start again, whether it's just getting a new job and rekindling your friendships or even perhaps trying again with your husband. Good luck
2006-08-17 00:37:55 · answer #7 · answered by jaygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-29 08:57:41 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to sound harsh but this really is what to expect when you fool around with a married man. It is a well known fact that they never leave their wives for the person they mess around with. Especially if there are kids invloved. Accept what has happened, move on & learn from this event.
2006-08-17 00:45:25 · answer #9 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently he felt the same way towards you as you did your husband. You threw your husband away for another married guy.
The pigeons have come home to roost. I can't say you did not deserve it. I also cannot say I have an ounce of sympathy. The reason you feel like a fool is that you are. Do you think your husband will take you back?
2006-08-16 23:36:12 · answer #10 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋