Was it something I said?

Question

My friend & her boyfriend offered to help me out with a plumbing problem at home. Unfortunately, I had to get someone else to come out as an emergency (as the date they had set, was too far away). There was water everywhere and I couldn't get the tap to turn off!!! When I told my friend that I had to resort to getting someone else as an emergency, she coldly said, "We could have done it for free". I explained to her that there was water pouring all night and had to get an emergency plumber out, she still said, "Yes, but that was too much to pay and we could have done it for nothing and in the end I had to tell my poor boyfriend not to show up". I even bought her a thank you card to show her how much I appreciated her & her boyfriend's offer of help. She has been acting a bit cold with me lately and don't know what I've done wrong.
When I share things of interest with her, like what clothes we like, or about my car, etc, I can tell she's not listening or interested.

Answer 1

to be honest, it sounds like you are too good to be friends with someone that is going to behave this way, i would stop apologising as it makes her feel too "powerful" if that's the right word? let her worry that you have had enough of her behaviour as at the moment, she thinks it is acceptable for her to treat you this way, and will continue to act this way. i would ignore her for a few days and hope that she sees the error of her ways and apologises for being so rude.

Answer 2

If this girl is prepared to let something so trivial affect your friendship, she's not a true friend. Does she really think you called out and paid for an emergency plumber because you wanted to make the point you didnt want them to do it!? Like you say, you didn't have any choice. You shouldn't have had to send a card to keep her sweet, if the offer of help was offered purely because she wanted to help you.

Easier said than done I know, but if I were you I'd ask her straight out if she's got a problem. Like I say, if something so petty can cause a rift she doesn't deserve you as a friend.

Answer 3

OTT. Your friend sounds like a self important, stuck up b i t c h that loves to create drama. And all you are doing with the thank you card (what did she do to get a thank you card?) is pandering to her childish, self obsessed pouting tantrum. Tell her to deal with whatever problem she has with you getting your plumbing (huh? plumbing?) fixed. How is your flat getting flooded and you getting an emergency plumber any of her and her stupid bf's business? Tell her to get over herself and that if she doesn't then she can just stop counting you as a friend. She is such a self-centred b i t c h that wants everything to be about her. This problem is something that will only get worse the longer you stay friends with this woman. I think that you should chuck her out of your life because she isn't worth your time or friendship.

Answer 4

I find your friend's reaction most bizarre! Surely the dumbest person would realise that you can't leave water pouring from a tap until their timetable can schedule their help! I think you've gone that extra mile in trying to placate her (which shouldn't have been necessary anyway); perhaps there's another reason why she's 'off' with you and she's only using this incident as an excuse. Ask her the question and give her the opportunity to 'come clean' and if that fails, just leave her be.

Answer 5

She may feel a little hurt because of the fact she cared about you spending all the money on someone.. but then again she just needs to understand that it was an emergency and you couldn't wait on her.. but let her know you appreciate how good of a friend she and her boyfriend are.. And if she doesn't get it.. Then let her be mad.. She will get over it.. lol

Answer 6

sounds a bit like possessiveness ta me, she expects you to rely on her and her only, so when you had an emergency and didn't contact her to come around straight away and got the plumber instead (which was wise anyway) she had her nose put out ov joint (for our Global participants it's an old UK saying for feeling put out). Don't give in to her and stop trying to apologise for NOT having her boyfriend do the work. If she carries on being snotty then just don't see her for a while she will come round and realise she being silly

Answer 7

I guess you did the right thing before a pool would be made in your house. Just give her the card. Just explain until you can but if she doesn't have any ears to offer, give yourselves some time. Don't force yourself being with her at least temporarily. At a certain time. She would be missing you and would even initiate to reconcile. What is such an experience compared to friendship, right?

Answer 8

Your friend is being a prat. You did the right thing. What else could you do? Maybe there is something else on her mind. She feels snubbed, so you need to make it clear that you had no choice.
Friends doing favours doesn't always work out. There is often a feeling of "who owes who".
You need to find where the stop **** is. You could have shut off the water yourself and saved a few pennies.

edit:- why can't I say stop ****? ok "valve" then.
;-)

Answer 9

You friend is upset and maybe angry that you did not ultimately use her help.

You have practically managed the situation well and saved yout place from water damage. Well done!

You also acknowledged you friend's kind offer of assistance, that too was well done.

Let time pass and see how things go. I would love to have a friend who is as practical, sensitive and as caring as you.

Peter

Answer 10

I am sorry to say this, but it sounds to me like your "friend" is one of those people who wants everyone to think she is perfect and has the answer to everything.

By going out and getting the job done yourself you took away her oportunity to show how great she is helping out those less fortunate than herself.

Just be glad that she has shown her true colours and get on with your life.