cheating husband?

Question

i have a problem to my husband he's having affair with my sister in-law maid since,1997 -2002 i found out in 2002 both of them didn't admit,so i given them a chance.my husband had promise to me that it won't happen again.because this maid always come to my house every sunday ,i am working i didn't have off day sunday only. weekdays, so i told to my husband about this matter i do not want this maid to come again in to my house.Now it happen again my 11 years old son found out in my husband hp.the sms the maid that he tell the sms "dear i love u so much i been thinking of u,our love is much stronger than ever good night and sweetdreams".i read this it's very hurt for me the whole week i cry i can't sleep every min i thinking of this i feel depress and no appite to eat,i asked my husband but he won't admit when i asked again and again but finally he admit all about what happen,he tell everything i feel very weak,hurt my feeling terrible now my husband make a promise.shall i forgive him?

Answer 1

no, you dont deserve that kind of treatment. It will be hard at first but you'll be happier in the end

Answer 2

Hi.
I would advice to have a serious conversation with your husband. Ask him what's the guarantee that he won't ever betray you again. You shouldn't trust him blindly. You said that he took quite some time to admit it. Maybe it's only because he was afraid to lose you. Try to give him more attention and love. Plan new things together. This will be a good change for both you and your husband. Ask your husband to tell you sincerely what was lacking in your love that made him betray you. You should both take a few days of holiday alone together to find a solution to your problem. After hearing the whole story if you still think that he deserves to be forgiven then do forgive him. He is your husband afterall. Do also talk to the maid. And also make sure that the maid don't ever come at your place again. Hope that things work out right. Wish you all the best.

Answer 3

Firstly, it is not like this is his first offense. In fact, he had an affair that went on for years (lie #1). He did not have the integrity to be forthcoming when you confronted him about it in 2002 (lie #2). When you had the evidence, he did not admit to his wrong doing now (lie #3). Finally, he confess his deceit but after much probing from you. Some men defends themselves by saying that they do not want to HURT their spouse, so they rather not tell them the ugly truth. Bull crap! If they didn't intend to hurt you, they would've had the balls to at least end the marriage before starting another relationship.

As Dr. Phil say, you teach people how to treat you. If you continue to tolerate his behavior by staying in this marriage and accepting his promises, he will continue to do what he pleases. You must set boundaries for yourself and not allow others (him) to abuse you in this manner.

This is not a case of a man having a one night stand with someone else after going to a bar. This is first degree cheating. It was thought-out and well intended. It is a pattern in his behavior. His promises are empty. He has no credibility and the trust is gone. You can forgive him when all your hurt is healed. You can forgive him as friends, NOT as husband and wife because a person can always forgive but never forgets. Forgive him when you are ready....do this for yourself so you can find some peace with all this. Your decision to stay in this destructive marriage is up to you. Good luck.

Answer 4

Fire the maid and tell her to take your husband with her. It wil be hard to replace a good maid but you will feel better knowing that your house may not be as clean as it was but your life situation has cleaned up considerably since these two hurtful, disrespectful people are no long in your life. Her last duty should be to pack his and then her bags and take them down to his car so they can leave you life and house forever.

Answer 5

Well, I think you should have an answer by now. Since he had cheated you twice, I think you should have an idea what to do. I believe tt you will not trust yr husband again rt. Since your son also found out the incident, I believe tt there should have some impact on him too. So the final decision lies on you whether you wanted to forgive him.

Answer 6

HELL NO!!! do not forgive him at all!! you shouldnt have forgave him in the first place...see the saying is true "once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater!" i know this would be hurting you, i feel for you...but u are goin to be the fool if u forgive him...he'll only do it again...shouldnt u know that by now? sue him and get everthing you can and start a new life...it will be hard but you will find someone new who will be faithfull to you and you wont look back! good luck hunny...u can do it!! :)

Answer 7

I am sorry to say that I have been married 4 yes FOUR times and have yet to find a man that will be faithful. I refuse to live with a man that has so Little respect for me than to have another woman and probably in our bed. I would kick him out so fast his head wouldn't have time to spin. Once a man cheats and lies and cheats he will always lie and cheat. You forgave him how much punishment do you want to take for his mistakes?

Answer 8

I think you need to get a life. If he is still cheating, your allowing him to do so by staying with him. I would not want to be on the receiving end of any kind of sexually transmitted diseases. If he is sleeping around, you could be the one the pay the ultimate price, your health!! This is not a good atmosphere to raise a child in. Leave.....your deserve better.

Answer 9

Well,I wouldn't because once a cheater always a cheater.He'll never change and hurt you more and more.He'll keep it up to it kills you so much that your to weak to go anymore.Plus you dont want your kid/kids to learn to be a looser like that.Before I married my husband Billy I was married to another guy named Sammie.He cheated on me time and time again.Until I got fed up with the hurt and pain and the thought that my oldest 2 would be like that.I wanted better for us and got away as fast as I could.Because they'll keep saying oh it wont happen again.It will Baby.So pick up your pieces of you and thank about the kiddo.Get away before he causes so much hurt that you'll be lost.Get a divorce!Get away before he hurts you more!Show him your not gonna let him do this to you anymore.Show him you'll be strong with out him!Move on Baby because its the best thing to do.Dont let it take you along time like it did me.Now I'm much more happier with Billy!Because he respects me for me and dont cheat or lie to me!He dont hurt me!Get out of it girl!He made the bed he lay let him stay in it because he's gonna keep doing this to you girl!I learned from experience.Once a cheater always a cheater!He'll never ever change.The hurt gets worse as it goes!It hurts you mentally and physically!So get out of this as soon as you can girl friend!You'll feel alot better and be alot better off without him!

Answer 10

You mean your husband prefer a maid than you? You should change job and not work on Sundays any more, watch over him like a hawk. He is very cheap skate!!

Answer 11

for me if my husband not honest in marriage i cannot forgive him coz when one time he can do, i know next time he also can do again. Men cannot 100% must believe or u try do something like just do same like he do with u and let him know how u feel when he having affair with other girl.