My step son acts rediculously jealous whenever me and his father show any type of affection?!..When we hold hands he runs to break our hands apart?!.If his father kisses me he forces a kiss the same way, and whenever we hug he runs in between us! he always wants to be in the middle!??...why does he act like this?? and when will it stop??
2006-08-16 18:38:50 · 20 answers · asked by Collie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Me and his father both agree that the way he acts is not proper, but we do understand that he just needs and wants attention..and we both give him a tremendous amount of it! I take him places and do things with him as well as all three of us, but another issue is that Im pregnant and he cant wait for his baby brother to come out...but Im afraid if hes like this with me and his dad that hes ganna be the same way with the baby!?..He has a mother who has him an equal amount as we do..and she also has someone in her life..who lives with her and she says he acts the same way with them, but just not as bad!>..We all try to talk to him and explain that nobody's trying to take his mommy or daddy away from him..and I try to explain that I love him just as much...I show him nothing but love and affection all the time..I do for him like he was my own and he loves me so much..I just wish there was a way to make him understand that me and his daddy need love too...from eachother!>????
2006-08-17 16:12:56 · update #1
Because you were not an original part of what he considered his familly group. His father needs to take the time to let him know how wonderful love is---that there is not less for anyone else, no matter who you decide to love in the future. Also he can set the boundaries for the difference in your relationships (parent/child, vs. man/wife). It will take some time, but the good news is that children are often more accepting of change than adults.
2006-08-16 18:44:44 · answer #1 · answered by iniyaitza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a classic case of a step mother taking the role of the real mother. He is resentful that you are with his dad instead of his mom. It's really not about you. Perhaps he is still hurt from the separation of his parents. Many children behave very disturbingly from divorces or death of their parent(s).
Have you tried being close to him by spending time alone with your step son? Did you reassure him that you are not there to replace his mom? Have your family consider counseling? There are definitely issues here that needs to be addressed because I'm sensing that this child is under stress from the changes in his family dynamic. For the mean time, show some sensitivity to his feelings and try not to display too much affection between his father and you until the child is at peace with the relationship. I do not know when his behavior will stop. It all depends on when he will heal from his pain. Seek help if you must.
2006-08-16 18:47:17 · answer #2 · answered by Ana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my step kids are the same way. well i should say were the same way. at one point it was as bad as i could not even walk next to him without having the 2 of them right next to him. even with there own mother when my husband would call her to check on the kids when they were with her they would not let them talk they were yelling and wanting the phone. i solved the problem by when we walked together i would hold there hands and take them out without there dad and show them love and attention. that's all they really wanted was love and attention. and before we hugged we would both hug them before and say now it is our turn. my step daughter was only 5 when we got together and our step son was 6 and they are perfect now. (5years later). have been for the last couple of years. Well i can say that if the hugging and kissing him before you 2 hug or kiss does not work then it is time to lay the law down. taking toys away and all that good stuff. he is going to have to learn that parents need there time just as well. i did not have to take to many toys away because our kids got the point.
2006-08-16 18:59:14 · answer #3 · answered by ~Mrs.C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is having a hard time seeing his father with another woman other than his mother. He is trying to come between the two you you. You can try talking to him in age appropriate language and explain that there are some things that people do when they love each other to show affection. It would probably be best coming from his dad.
2006-08-17 01:24:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi.
He is still young. It will take him some time to understand things. Maybe he is behaving in such a way as he wants more attention. You should try to understand him. He is still a child. I would advice you to give him some love as well. At such a young age, kids badly need love, attention and care. Am sure this will make your husband love you and respect you more. Try it out. You will see how things get better. Wish you all the best.
2006-08-16 18:45:04 · answer #5 · answered by mehnaazishaa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well put yourself in his shoes if you felt jealous about two people and one was your adult would you get jealous i guess he felt that he doesnt fully trust you that much he still probably believes he just wants to live with his dad, and think your in the way. it happens alot to other couples, it will take sometime to have the child fully trust you but why not take the kid for a icecream cone or some fun in a movie you a kid movie or rent a movie that you and him can watch
2006-08-16 19:32:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I dont think he'll fully grow out of it.I think that you should probably not be affectionate like that in front of him for a while,and ask him out front with his father whats the matter.At first he might deny anything but talk to him see if you can find out whats bugging him.Dont just believe because he says "nothing" its true try to get him to open up.You might find out it could be something that he's really concerned about.
2006-08-16 18:48:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He acts this way because you are not his mom. It's not ridiculous, it's perfectly normal and may I say you should be glad that he's able to let out his feelings instead of bottling them up. He'll grow out of it, but probably not soon enough for you. Try to be patient, your husband, your step son and your marriage will thank you.
You don't have any children of your own, do you?
2006-08-16 18:57:00 · answer #8 · answered by Celeste A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow the kid remembers his mom dosen't under stand why you are there instead of his mom . just try softly and say i'm sorry your daddy and mom aren't together any more i'm now married to your daddy and he loves me and wants to hug me and kiss me you don't have to be worried i'm not going to take your daddy away from you so this is your time to hug your daddy then it's my turn ok good luck
2006-08-16 18:55:18 · answer #9 · answered by dalecollins64 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to feel jealous in new relationships. Have you talked to your stepson or have you told the father if he hasn't noticed. If not then do so. If so then kiss him before or hold hands with him before.
Good Luck
2006-08-16 18:43:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋