Why do people have kids if they end up putting them in day care at 12 weeks old?

Question

This q was inspired by a q posed earlier. If you know you can't afford to take care of a kid until say, at least 3 - 4 years, why did you have a kid.......is it fair to the kid?..

Answer 1

I decided years ago that I wanted to work full time in nursing and not shuffle my children around..so I went childless and I don't regret it...for the reason that you posted this question...people are selfish and in the end the children hurt

Answer 2

Some people HAVE to go back to work, for a variety of reasons. Not just money related. It's not like it hurts them. I had to go back to work earlier so my parents could have a break from the family business so my son was in child care at 9 weeks, 2 days a week and now is there 3 days a week at 18 months old. It's not something I planned on doing and it was hard at first leaving him. He loves it, has friends he plays with and has learned so much. At least he is not a stuck at home with Mum all day kid. They get bored at home. Having a little break from each other makes our time togethor even better.

Answer 3

I've never quite understood this myself. People who choose to have a child and yet often put their career before the best interests of the child? I realize many families need two incomes, but if a large part of the second income is going to child care expenses, commuting costs, lunches at work, diapers, formula, etc., where is the gain in working?

Of course there are ways to work this out in two-parent families if the mother and father choose to work different shifts so that one of them is always home with the child. With this plan, everyone gets the best of everything.

There are no easy answers I think. People just try to do what is best for their own families and struggle along the best way they know how.

Answer 4

I think it's fair to the child. Just because you put your child in daycare at a young age doesn't make you a bad parent, and doesn't mean you're unworthy of having children. If everyone waited until they were financially stable enough to have children so that they could stay home with them, I believe we'd have a problem with our population dying out. Either that, or we'd have more and more Downs Syndrome babies becuase the women would be in their 40s before they'd be able to afford to quit their jobs and stay home.

Answer 5

People have children b/c they have love and affection and guidance to offer them, whether they can stay home or not. As much as I would like to be home with my son, circumstances won't allow it. However, I am a good mom, and my husband is a good father. The time we spend with our son is quality time.

There are plenty of people that are lucky enough to stay home, yet they go out to the movies, the spa, the mall, wherever and don't pay attention to their kids. Or others that spend all kinds of time with their children while they are smoking, drinking and otherwise neglecting them.

Being able to "afford" children has nothing to do with having love to offer them. It's a two-income world. Things are not how they used to be. My husband and I both have good jobs, we scrimp and save, we don't take vacations or even go out to dinner and yet we still both have to work b/c we decided to buy a home (a very modest home) in a good school district so that our child would rec'v a good education.

Maybe you should ask why people have children if they are not prepared to care for them well or are two selfish to dedicate all of their free time to them instead of asking why they have children when they have to work to provide stable homes and a safe and healthy environment which, unfortunately, means they are forced to spend 40 hrs a week away and only 128 hrs/wk at home with them.

My mother was a stay at home Mom and I loved being raised by her and being with her each and every day. However, if circumstances had been different and I had been with a babysitter or in a daycare, I would still have loved her and I feel strongly that she would have been a good mom and that I would have had a healthy and happy childhood. I believe that I would have respected my mother for doing what had to be done to feed and clothe me and for making a very hard choice to leave me and provide for the family.

Maybe you are not being judgemental and simply asking out of curiousity. I hope that that is the case. But, if you are, I ask that you reserve your judgement. People live their lives in all manners. And, as long as they do so with kindness and decency and are not harming others. As long as they offer their families the best they have to offer, both financially and emotionally. As long as the time they spend with their children is quality family time. And, as long as they are doing the best that they can do as a result of their situation, they should not be judged or looked down upon.

Answer 6

Who are you to judge others? You know what I am a stay at home mom too and I don't judge people that leave their children at daycare, I'm sure if they had a choice in the matter 99 % of them would stay at home. Thats ridiculous for you to say if you can't afford to stay at home for 3-4 years without working you shouldn't have kids. What about single moms? Is it fair to the child to have a mom stay at home, and not work and they struggle to eat and pay the bills, let alone have anything else? Come on, use your common sense!

Answer 7

Umm okay this makes no sense.

If you can not afford a kid then how the heck do you afford to put them in daycare? Daycare does not come free DUH...It can cost over 100 bucks a week.

Most people put kids in day care because they work to support them.

My son is 2 and I go to college and work but he has never been in daycare but that is because my mom watches him but one day my mom is not going to be thier or I am going to move away and he is going to have to be put into daycare so I can work.

It really sucks putting your kids in daycare because you really just want to be with them 24/7 but sadly with most families you just can not do that because of how pricey things are getting it is taking most families two incomes to make ends meet.

Answer 8

A lot of people just want to have kids and they can't afford not to place them in daycare. I know I've worked in them for years. And it differs from each case to another.

In some cases people like having nice things and the only way to have that is for both parents to work so their kids end up in daycare.

Another is that both parents work just to have food on the table so they are forced to do it. And some people just have unplanned pregnancies.

It just varies...

Answer 9

Day care is alot more expensive then staying home with a child. I do agree with you, I hate the idea of a newborn in daycare, but situations arise where it has to be done. Myself, I've been a stay at home mom for all my kids life. If and when I did work, it was only during the school day, all holidays, summer vacation and weekends off.

Answer 10

There are lots of reasons why people choose to go back to work and put their infants in daycare. For some it's out of necessity. For others it's personal preference. Babies are expensive! If two parents simply cannot afford to live on a single income, than what else do you expect them to do? You don't have to be a stay-at-home parent to raise a happy, healthy child. Nor does putting your child in daycare mean that you cannot afford to take care of it.

Answer 11

My husband and I keep it old fashioned. I stay at home with the kids and he goes to work. We have 5 and have never put a one in daycare.
Day cares leave a bad taste in my mouth anyway. I believe that one parent should at least be home with their kids. Considering neither of my parents were there when I left for school or when I came home.