Is my husband having an affair?

Question

I recently heard my husbands text message alert so after about 2 texts I decided to check it. The first text said"I love you" and the second text said "meet me." I am not sure if there were more because I went totally numb. I confronted my husband of 18 years who looked surprised yet had no idea about who it was from and what was going on etc. In the meantime he erased all outgoing and incoming calls made that day. He claims the girl who worked with him in the office drinks alot and must have been drinking and texted the wrong person. I called the girl and left a message. THe next morning at 6, she called to say she was so sorry. She was out drinking and was now getting up for aspirin and meant the text for her boyfriend and they had been fighting. THe next day I had asked to hear the voice mails. He though he had erased all of them but, not hers! She said "Hi, its me, gues you're busy, talk to you later." He claims nothing ever happened. Is he cheating?

Answer 1

Totally, so take him to marriage counseling, if that doesn't work, leave him! Have some young men for comfort, it's fun, then get serious and settle down...

Answer 2

hi, I can imagine your panic.
This might help. I loaned my phone to my daughter when she was about to go into labor. She called and told me I had a text message from someone saying, I love you, lets get naked.
I have NEVER used tex messaging and didn't have a man in my life at the time who would of texted that. So who knows.

If he is cheating you can be sure he won't use the cell phone again. You will need to watch for other clues. I am so sorry I know how hard this is. Trust him until there is reason not to.
Give him this one fulb......but if something like this happens again......you may need an attorney or at least some counseling.

Answer 3

Texting may not be considered cheating, but it can definately lead someone to start. It's easy, it's very discreet, deletable and the spouse is none the wiser...unless they slip!

Other signs of infidelity are these...
dressing better
showering more often
wearing more cologne
always late coming home
going out more than usual
accusing you
and not giving you any more than they have too
hiding cell phone, immediately turning it off when home
hiding computer screen (online chat, email)

It hurts, because he is cheating. Maybe not physically, but in his mind he wants too. You both need to sit down and talk openly and honestly.

Put your foot down. 18 years of marriage is hard to waste, but do you really like the way you are feeling?

Put a stop to it, even if you have to stay at a relatives for a few days to let him know you mean business. Be Strong. Then it won't hurt so much, knowing you did something about it!

Answer 4

okay,,, this is coming from a open minded woman married for 14 years.... sure.. he might be cheating... let's say he is ...okay.. what? are you going to do divorce him.? if not .... then ignor it... after 18 years... he is a little bored ...you havent done anything wrong you are still the love of his life he is still married to you, can you handle him being honest with you? No! so ignor or divorce him....18 years...men cheat! ask him and tell him, you understand and ask him if it is serious.. because you deserve him to be honest with you.... but ... hey ..if you cant handle the answer.. then dont ask the question.. stop looking for trouble! give him his space....get over it! hey just like clinton....hiliary is still #1 who cares... if he gets a little bit on the side....they eventually get board with that too! thats marriage the good and the bad times.. this is the bad time.... get through it...tell him to respect your home...and go and spend some more of his money.... or hey invite her to dinner.... that 's a twist....or you can be like the rest of these lonely women male basher clubs.. " oh I''m getting a divorce! my husband cheated on me! men have been cheating since the beginning of time and will cheat until the end of time... dont be one of the millions of women across the country lonely because their man cheated on them a few times out of a life time of marriage.... hey in some countries men can have up to 5 wives.... in the usa they call it adultry....I call it being a man....as long as girlfriend is not calling your home and disrepecting your home, and as long as your husband is paying the bills and still loving you and treating you right consider a day off...

Answer 5

Oooh. I don't want to be the definitive answer you go on, but I'd say there is something going on. I send a text (in Spanish that I flub my way through and he flubs his way through) and then ring his cell once or just say "email" in the text, and he knows to check his email. He deletes my call record and emails, and has me under some guy's name on his cell too. But, these two are not being very careful if it is an affair, and that either usually means one of two things: he wants to (subconsciously) get caught or he's being dense (aka being a man) and not thinking you'll catch on after 18 years of being faithful. I doubt she was drunk. But, she could have been...very VERY drunk, I suppose. And if it is nothing, then it's very, very odd. It's pretty tough to text the WRONG person even when you're intoxicated (I never have). If she apologized like that, it can also mean "we don't want to get caught because we want to keep it going". Good luck.

Answer 6

My dear sweet little angel.
To ask such a question, is to have a heavy heart. for when one get to the point of thinking that your with your soul mate, and such events should be before you, my heart goes out to you. but remember that all is not lost, for this could truly be a miss understanding. I would have to say that the evidence is staking up against him, but what ever-way your life should go, never become bitter. for remember that you are on a life's journey and this is your story. always carry the happy moments with you in life and you will never be at a point of darkness, for that is the road better left for those that can not truly love. best wishes to you in your travels.

Answer 7

Of course he is cheating. I was the other woman and I had a whole bullshit story when she did find my number and texts on his phone. I was his friends girlfriend. His friend John who worked at job X with him. John had used my phone for a while cuz he broke his. Worked like a charm and pulled the wool over her eyes for a while. Although she eventually caught on to his lyin cheatin ***.

Answer 8

i would have to say he is cheeting but the question is do you love him and if so then go to a marrage consler if you have thought of cheeting then leave him my husband of 10 years did some what of the same thing except the girl that he cheeted with called me and told me that they cheeted once and only once well to make a long story short we talked it out and resolved the issue but now we are talking about going to see a marrage counsler about that and other issues we are having good luck hope all works out

Answer 9

Men never cheat!

Only a wanker would believe that!

He either has done her or they are very close to getting it on.

My man did the same things when he cheated on me.
You need copies of his cell bills for the last 2 months.
And you need to see credit card bills for "unexplainable" charges & check your bank accounts to see if extra money goes missing on a regular basis.

Don't listen to him with your heart, Listen with your head!

Men will lie to you up to their last dying breath!

Answer 10

Here's a quote from Tyler Perry's Madea's class reunion:

Woman: How can I know if my husband is cheating on me?
Madea: You think your husband is cheating on you?
Woman: Uh huh.
Madea: That's how you know!

Come on lady. You caught him in the act. Deal with it.