This is my first pregnancy.I'm only 4 wks along.My mom thinks i need to go on a diet. What do you think?

Question

I am 28, just married to a man with two girls 13 and 10. with this marriage i gained 3 dogs and a cat and about 11 pounds. I am 5'6" and weigh 132 and just found out that i am 4 weeks pregnant. When i told my mother the first thing she said was well its about time you start your diet you dont want to get fat. I am and have always been the biggest person in my family. I am not tall and skinny like my mom and sis, i am short and curve like me....I know that with a pregnancy a woman gains 20-25 pounds. However when my sis had her baby she gained 56 pounds and my mother had her on every diet she could think of. How do i tell my mother to butt out with out being rude. I dont want her to butt out of my life, just drop the "FAT" subject.

Answer 1

You shouldn't diet when pregnant. Your OB will tell you not to lose weight even if you were significantly overweight which you are not. Just try not to gain more than the recommended weight and you'll be ok. Sometimes things like pre-eclampsia can cause extraordinary swelling and thus weight gain.

I gained 36 pounds but had pre-eclampsia. A week after my baby was born I weighed myself and was 40 pounds lighter (11 lb baby, fluid retention, amniotic fluid, etc.). Don't fret but don't eat everything in sight either. I think you'll be fine.

Answer 2

If your 5'6" and weigh 132 you are not over weight at all. You do not need to lose weight.
You could be 20-50 pounds over weight and the doctor will not want you to lose weight while pregnant. It isn't good on you or the baby. If you diet, you are not giving the baby all the nutrients it needs.
Just tell her straight up that she needs to not mention your weight gain through out the whole pregnancy, and if she has a problem with that then you wont be visiting her during your pregnancy and that will hurt you both. Make sure she knows that you really want her there to enjoy all the stages of your pregnancy but you cant handle her negativity. It isn't good for you to be stressed out.
I hope I have helped some.
I am a mother of two. My son is 17 months old and my daughter is almost 7 months old. 10 months apart. Not planned. My mother was great throughout my pregnancy. Not so great now.
Good luck.

Answer 3

20-25 pounds is what male doctors used to tell there female patients that that is all they were 'allowed' to gain during pregnancy. Nowadays we are responsible for ourselves and the average woman gains 40 pounds with her pregnancy. I have had 3 pregnancies and I have gained 60-70 pounds while pregnant (and I threw up for 4 months of them!!!!) and have only kept 10-15 extra pounds on me since having them and I am 37 years old. Tell your mom to take a flying leap, dieting during pregnancy is downright dangerous and she had her chance to be pregnant and do it her way when she had the two of you. Fat at 132 lbs. and 5'6???????? Who is she? Nicole, Lindsay or Paris?? Something tells me that if you hint she won't lay off. The next time she says anything to that effect I would say, ' Mom it's actually none of your business and really hurtful and when (husband name) has a problem with how I'm dealing with my pregnancy he'll let me know, until then I could use your support and I am asking you to not bring it up again.' For the rest of your pregnancy no matter how big you get, tell her you've only gained so many pounds with the grand total being 25 at the end of all of it. You can use her help AFTER the baby. Put your foot down nicely but very firmly. Good Luck.

Answer 4

This is not the time to be dieting. but it's also not the time to be eating McDonald's every day. Don't listen to your mother. When pregnant everybody is different. My cousin gained 50+ pounds with one of her two children and most of it was water (she was toxic) There are lot of good pregnancy websites that can give you a sample menu to follow so that you gain weight in a sensible way. Also, my doctor's office asked me if I wanted to see a nutritionist. If you are concerned about it then I would recommend that to you but don't go because your mother thinks that you're going to get fat if you don't. Do it for you and your baby. After your first Dr's visit I recommend 2 books, What to Expect When You're Expecting (the pregnancy bible for medical stuff) and The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy (for the irrational fears that WE all have about being pregnant) This is my first pregnancy and at 16 weeks they have been my saving grace.

Answer 5

First, realize that your mother was pregnant 28 years ago, and a lot has changed. She is most likely trying to help (my mom can actually be malicious so your mom maybe too, but lets assume she is just trying to help). The best thing to do is lay it out straight for her...
"Mom, I have talked with my doctor and he says I need to gain (whatever he says 15-35lbs) and he said that I should eat complete healthy meals made of good foods. I really appreciate your concern and the baby is lucky to have such a concerned grandma. I would really like your recipe for (something she really likes to make)." If you say that or something similar, she is left with little to say and a whole lot of respect and love. She will feel that you listened to her concern and spoke with your doctor and that you respect her opinion and love her. This is good practice, she and many others will give you a lot of mostly unsolicited advice for the rest of your life. If your child is wearing blue, some stranger will feel the need to tell you that he/she would look better in green. I have found that if I can make the speaker feel heard, respected and understood, they back off and leave on good terms.

You have a lot of new stress and even though it is probably mostly good, it is still stress. You need to keep yourself at your best, not just physically but mentally too. You owe it to the baby. If being with your mom stresses you out, try to reduce the number of times you see her and the duration. If you have any questions, ask your doctor. There are a lot of online family forums, chatrooms, and advice columns, they can help you feel like you are doing your research and they certainly give you lots of ideas. Don't do anything without clearing it with your Ob-Gyn and try to enjoy pregnancy, it only lasts a little while.
Congrats, and have fun

Answer 6

Hey, I am 5"1' and weigh 193 pounds, and my doctor didn't tell me to 'go on a diet' so, believe me, you don't have to. Besides, you can't cut back on calories when u are pregnant, u actually need 300 more a day. My doctor simply told me to eat healthy and make good food choices. Try to get all of ur servings of vegetables and fruit daily and drink tons of water. Take your prenatals and you should be fine. I'm 3 months now and haven't gained one pound since I got pregnant, I've actually lost 3 pounds just from eating right. Don't worry about your figure, worry about your baby and remember that when you starve yourself your baby starves too.

Answer 7

um try you gain 25 to 45 pounds during a healthy pregnancy.
NEVER DIET WHILE PREGNANT !!!!!!!!!!
that baby needs nutrition and if you diet to keep YOU thin then the baby will have problems!! you are 5'6" and 132 lbs you are just right if not a bit thin as long as you don't gorge yourself with junk food during your pregnancy you should go back to within a few pounds of your normal weight after you have the baby! eat right not too much and not too little talk to your doctor asap about it and ask him or her to give you a print out about it to show your baby hating relatives. DONT WORRY ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT RIGHT NOW WORRY ABOUT HAVING A HEALTHY BABY!!!!!!

Answer 8

Do NOT listen to your mother about this!! Explain to her that it is dangerous to both your health and the baby's to diet during pregnancy. If you gain more weight than you want, worry about it after the baby is born. Breastfeeding alone will cause you to lose most of your 'baby fat' (and of course it's good for baby). If you can have your doctor tell her this as well, that would probably help. Just keep in mind that your baby's well being is more important than your mother's perception of your appearance.

Answer 9

I have NEWS For you! I gained 90 with my first and 60 this time around, I know someone who gained over 100. This time around I have BARELY eaten anything out of the norm, not to mention I threw EVERYTHING up for the first 5 months!

I would seriously just ignore your mom. It isn't worth causing a fight over. I am sorry she would say that to you, my family is the same way, ALL THE TIME! if I put on a POUND they know! Just practice your eyes glazing over, when she says, "Honey HOW MUCH have you GAINED!" say, "Not so much that the dr is concerned." or , "oh I don't know but my doctor says things are looking wonderful!" or something along the lines of that.

THE LAST THING you are going to want to hear in the next 8 months is, "Oh my have you gotten big!" or "Wow you have packed on a few pounds." Or MY FAVORITE WAS: "You KNOW you are carrying twins in there!"

Good luck and remember IN ONE EAR OUT THE OTHER!

Answer 10

This is not the time to diet. You need around 300 extra calories a day to grow that baby! Losing weight during pregnancy can be dangerous, as it deprives both you and the baby of vital nutrients. Explain this to your mother and hopefully she'll understand. Good luck!