Me and my husband got in a huge fight tonight. I asked for a cellphone. I drive his son to daycare and I will be responsible to get him to school soon. I feel a cell is important if there is an emergency. We just got married and I started immigration work (I am Canadian) He's resentful that I'm not working now, but I can't legally work in the US yet. Right now I hate it, I can't work and have my own money, I can't have a bank account or anything here.He can afford a cell phone for me, it's not the money. He is being so cruel to me. I am asking for something reasonable. I go back to Canada in two weeks to visit my family. Should I just stay and find a new job and start a new life?
2006-08-16 17:04:46 · 33 answers · asked by Fleur de Lis 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Theres more to it than a cell phone. It's just the topic of the fight tonight.
2006-08-16 17:23:13 · update #1
Tell him that by refusing to get you a cell phone he is putting you and his child at risk of not having help at your fingertips if it is needed. What would happen if you got into a crash and needed help? You dont want him to rely on the mercy of others! You want him to know you can call for help. He is refusing you help that you might need.
2006-08-16 17:17:11 · answer #1 · answered by ziggunerin 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I live in BC and have a US bank account (and used to have a Mervyn's and Nordstrom card too). I don't believe that! He is definitely being unreasonable. In this day and age, we rely on cells for safety if nothing else. That's his child you'll be toting around. Something else is going on. Stress, worry...something. Take your breather back here, and then discuss the most important things with him when you go back down. How long will it be from the time you've been married or a legal US resident until the time you can work down there? I do think there is something deeper going on than just the cell phone and his outward attitude. Good luck! :)
2006-08-16 17:19:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously married him for a reason. Don't give up so quickly. Try and explain to him the reason you want the cell. By the way, since you are married the money he makes belongs to both of you, not just him. Ask him what he would want to do if something happened on the way to dropping off or picking up the son. Does he want you stranded all alone at the mercy of strangers. Bottom line don't give up the marriage too quickly.
Does he have a cell?
2006-08-16 17:13:17 · answer #3 · answered by rwvsm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a cell phone? NO! It's not worth getting a divorce over that. What you have to look at is the "bigger picture" here. Why doesn't he want to get you a cell phone? Is it a control thing? Is he being selfish? What else (besides a cell phone) will he be inconsiderate of? While I see where you're coming from with this, you'll also be able to afford a cell phone once you get employed.
2006-08-16 17:22:17 · answer #4 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did he say why he doesn't want you to have one? What guy who cares about his wife and child would not want her to have one these days (when he CAN afford it)?? It sounds like he has control issues or doesn't trust you or something. And if you're thinking about divorce over something like a cell phone, it sounds like the two of you have many other problems that matter more. For starters when you're married all the money should be considered to belong to BOTH of you. And, by the way, how can he resent you for not working when it's not possible for you to work. I mean, hello?!!, does he not remember you left your family/country/home to be with him?? You definitely need to think about this relationship long and hard.
2006-08-16 17:26:39 · answer #5 · answered by secondopinion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly the solid element is that you've realized you're in an abusive relationship and favor to go away. and also you shouldn't be embarrassed that your marriage failed because the guy you married ended up not being a guy in spite of everything, reason there is not any excuse to abuse a lady. Your plan looks ok yet first i imagine you should locate an part of the position you're going. seem for a interest there earlier you arrive so that you may have something set. seem for residences there so that you wont finally end up in a city the position lease is outrageous. Do your study and function numbers and deal with accessible earlier you go away. %. some snack packs for you and your kiddo and function funds waiting accessible for the line. only recognize the position you're going so that you may have a vacation spot and function issues set up for once you get there. do you should want any help i'm more beneficial than keen to be there for you. i became once in an abusive relationship so i recognize how not user-friendly it would want to be. Please enable me recognize if i am going to do something for you. God bless you!
2016-11-04 23:53:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweet girl, if what you say is true, in this day where cell phone service is so cheap my advice is leave his crazy *** while you dont hve any kids for him and while you can. theres probably a reason the mother of his son is not there. My aunt went through the same kind of thing.it started with something small like no cellphone, then its dont leave the house without him, then its no car then its this then its that. its a control complex that he probably has. he is probably insecure and that could lead to abuse. get out while you can.
2006-08-16 17:14:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are seriously basing the decision to end your marriage on an arguement over a cell phone? Yes, by all means...get out now. I'd hate to see what happens when there's a baby around and someone has to change a diaper!
2006-08-16 17:14:26 · answer #8 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, if the two of you can't agree on a material thing like a cellphone, that should be a big clue right there. What are you going to do when something more important arises? Believe me, I think he is trying to control you and you are letting him. If you feel intimidated by him, since you are married, seek counseling immediately. If he refuses, there is another clue. Get it together.
2006-08-16 17:12:48 · answer #9 · answered by onecharliecat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can think back to 25 years ago and people were surviving quite nicely without cell phones and getting kids to school with no problem. I can't imagine you would leave your husband over a cell phone.
2006-08-17 01:50:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you know this man before you married?
Honey, there are a lot more important things in life! Besides, when you get a job you can get a cell phone yourself! I mean did you marry him because he gave you everything or because you wanted to be with him for the rest of your life?
2006-08-16 17:12:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋