I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 ½ years, and we have spent our whole lives together side-by-side…literally. We have been friends since we could talk, and best friends since we were 8. When we realized that our feelings went deeper then just friendship when we were 13, we decided to move forward …and have been dating ever since. We’ve always known that we were going to get married - and made sure that everyone around us knows. For the most part, people don’t have a problem with it…allot of people think we are older then we actually are - we both turned 18 a couple weeks ago. He gave me a diamond promise ring when I turned 16, and we exchanged gold bands last year as a sign of our commitment to each other. Now, we are ready to let the world know that we are serious about spending the rest of our lives together - we want to announce our engagement. On some level, our parents are expecting this (we‘ve talked about this openly for almost 2 years)…but at the same time, we know they want us to wait as long as possible. And as much as we respect that and understand where they are coming from, we want them to know that this is what we both want. We both have full time jobs, and are bringing in enough money to live comfortably with the chance to save. We are both involved with church, and we understand that marriage is going to be hard - one of the hardest things you can do in life. We want to know how to best approach our parents with our decisions. We know it might take some convincing, but we want to do so in the most respectful way possible. Please, any advice would be appreciated!!!!!
2006-08-16 17:00:27 · 11 answers · asked by Cherished_Bride 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The wedding wouldn't be untill 2 months after we turn 19, because we don't want everyone to think that we got married just because we could. We want them to know that we are serious about each other, and in this for the long term...plus, a year-long engagement should give everyone peace of mind as that we are not rushing into this.
Also, It's not as though we are afraid of their response...we just want to handle telling them with as much respect as possible. Granted, there is that little fear deep down that they are going to be unreasonable about the situation, but we know thats not going to happen. We just want to let them know without being disrespectful, even if there is some protesting...
2006-08-16 17:03:08 · update #1
Sweetie, you explained your situation beautifully. Your parents should be proud to have raised such a caring, loving and mature person. If you and your boyfriend share the same values, goals and dreams, then you are indeed likely to have a successfull marriage. Does your church offer counseling for couples wishing to get married? If they do, maybe it would ease your parents mind if you and your boyfriend attended them.
When you talk to your parents maybe you should start thanking them for giving you the upbringing that led you to become the person you are today. Explain to them that you value their opinion, but at the same time remain firm about your unwavering commitment to one another. Not everybody is so lucky as to fall in love with their best friend, and that is worth fighting for.
My own parents have been twice divorced. I married when I was 19 and my husband 21. Nobody gave a dime for the success of our marriage, myself included. Last week we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. I just thought you should know that you can beat the odds, if you love each other and are prepared to work to make the marriage work.
2006-08-16 17:35:24 · answer #1 · answered by Celeste A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well don't make the announcement harder than what it seems. It sounds like they are understanding to the love the two of you share. You make very convincing arguments considering that you sound like you're financially capable of marrying and responsible enough to take such an important step. The important thing when making this announcement is to be sincere and speak from the heart. If they initially resist to the idea, patiently and maturely explain to them 'why' you would like to get married. Good luck and congratulations.
2016-03-27 05:26:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.... Just bring both sets of parents together and tell them all that you have written here. You seem to be rather responsible. A year long engagement may make the idea easier for them to understand. Good Luck!!!!!
2006-08-16 17:09:15 · answer #3 · answered by Desiree S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you speak to your parents as reasonably as you laid out your plans along with this question, I can't help but think you will persuade them. Perhaps if you asked both sets of parents out to neutral territory such as a restaurant it would be easier when you announce your engagement. I certainly wish you all the best in your life together.
2006-08-16 17:14:04 · answer #4 · answered by girlfriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heavy sigh. I know where your parents are coming from.
I agree that he should ask permission to marry. Maybe someplace quite and have a nice dinner.
Most peolple including your folks would say your too young, and in most cases I would agree.......
BUT Why keep looking if youve found what you want.
P.S. please do NOT move in together before you are married, you will lose evryones respect.
2006-08-16 17:13:36 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give them a copy of what you just wrote here. Just be honest. My cousin got married under similar circumstances and has now been married for about 8 years and he and his wife are very happy.
If you are committed and it sounds like you are, they will understand.
2006-08-16 17:17:52 · answer #6 · answered by thatcanadiangirl2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell them...if u wait any longer than its just gonna b that much harder...obviously if u 2 have been together this long they r xpecting this and if they havent had a problem with this relationship so far then theres no worries. besides...this is yr life live it how u want and dont worry bout wat ppl think. "those who care dont matter, and those who matter dont care." listen to yr heart and follow yr dreams. i wish u both a life of happiness.
2006-08-16 17:13:27 · answer #7 · answered by babygurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bf should ask your parents' permission to marry you. They will love it and it would be the most respectful thing to do.
All the best to you!!
2006-08-16 17:07:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still kids -- odds are not in your favour unless you know who you are -- you will know this when you get older.
=/
2006-08-16 17:12:33 · answer #9 · answered by ★Greed★ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont waste time just go and talk to them.i am sure they will say yes
2006-08-16 18:02:00 · answer #10 · answered by anshulgupta1988 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋