My husband doesn't want to share money or anything for that matter, will we last?

Question

Basically he feels since he makes more it's not fair, who cares if we are to be a family we need to learn to share, not only money but everything, money is not the only thing we can't share. Hopefully this is enough to get some advice on what to do.

When I say share I mean combine our incomes and figure out all of our bills and savings and our own spending money.

We actually split everything 50/50 but at the end of the day since I make last I don't have much while he's out buying all kinds of stuff for his car I can't buy anything for myself yet he wants me to wear nice clothes and so fourth

Answer 1

It will work if you let it work.

I had to get past that feel sorry for myself mentality to make my marriage work. Yes it goes against the grain of society but I'm very happy. All my needs are met, my bills are paid and that is more that most people can say. We work together to achieve greater financial goals.
My husband is the same as he had problems even sharing food. I stayed consistently kind and always shared what I had without provoking an argument. I would calmly explain the rules of the house to our friends and family. They laughed at him. He laughed back. He's changed.

Happiness is a state of mind. Be blessed.

Answer 2

Either (a) you'll never do things like vacations together (???) or (b) you'll have to come to some mature decision over how to split the bills.

When you get to the point where you're arguing over who pays for the drinks at that Mexican resort, not to mention how to split the airfare and hotel - it starts to become sensible to combine all the money anyway.

While it's good that each of you can keep a bit of "mad money", if you want to buy golf clubs or a Prada handbag... keeping all the money separate sounds more like an "exit strategy" than a healthy marriage.

Will your marriage last? If you can come to a resentment-free split of the costs, maybe you will. If you have to dicker for hours over what proprtion of the electricity or water bill or car bills each of you pay - no.

Answer 3

Some people have made it last, but I don't think it's a true marriage unless everything is shared 50/50.

Good luck

Answer 4

Doesn't sound like it will last. You need to find out why he is like that, if he doesn't want to share why did he get married in the first place?

Answer 5

I'd say in my opinion only no it want last, because there's a trust issue with money. On the other hand if he provides for you, and you want nothing ( not material things) Then yes it could work. Good luck!!

Answer 6

My fiance and I both work and we keep our own money. We simply each take responsibilty for half of the rent and a few bills each. There is no need to pool money. Then when it's time to have fun we both chip in - not just the one who has more money. Maybe after he sees you being giving & non-selfish he'll lighten up too.

Answer 7

if it more than money and he has toys ( cars, bikes ect.. ) and feels like it's all his, then you have married a selfish child and it will not last. if you a free spender and he saves for the future, it will not last..
most divorces are over money, not cheating or abuse

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with having separate accounts. Banks accounts have nothing to do with how much he loves you. Does he pay the majority of the bills since he is making more? Discuss it with him what he pays and what you pay. If you need money for something, ask him for it. Compromise.

Answer 9

I had the same problem. Sharing is basically what composes a marriage.Talk to you husband and tell him exactly how you feel.

Answer 10

Thats not fair. If he is a real man he should be responsible. If you cant afford good clothes after paying the bills, put it on his tab.