Who was the deceased at the last funereal you attended?

Question

Do you want to tell us what you loved most about them? When did they die? How did they die? Are you coping well? Which stage of the grief process are you in? The 5 stages are shock, denial, anger, bargaining and finally, acceptance.

Thanks everyone for answering. I asked this question b/c sometimes we don't have people to talk to and I just wanted to give you the forum to do such. Some wonderful memories here, thanks so much for sharing. I am going to send a personal note to some of you, if it is accepted.

I lost a dear friend on May 26. 2006. She was born June 14, 1961. She was bright, she was funny, she had a very warm heart and she loved angels. And now she is with them. May she rest in peace and we love you. Peace.

Answer 1

My partner, Gwenneth B..I was not there, this is why.
We met at our first office job. I was looking for someone to share my love of classical music, Glibert and Sullivan etc. We started going out to shows and found we enjoyed gardening. We would part with a goodnight kiss which gradually became more serious.
We had a discussion about where this migh be leading. After another year we moved in together.
We had a great life with the usual problems, the main one being her family. At first they were glad to see me as a friend but rapidly thaat turned to hatred. Gwen's anazing serenity in the face of this was amazing.
After years, we were told by the office manager that all long serving staff had to taketheir long leave. We could not take this together and Gwen said to take mine as she was "Feeling tired" We planned the trrip together and I had a wonderful time.
On arrival home a neighbour told me that she had found Gwen collapsed in the garden; learning later that it was a virulent cancer,
I also learned that her family claimed her body and had her buried in their "church's" private plot. I visited only to fond the stone bore only her dates and "UNKNOWN TO GOD".
One of the family came and warned me to say away. "Lesbian? No, lessthan nothing!" I was so filled with anger and horror that I nearly struck her with a blow I learned in self defence class..
I coped some how but had to ask my brioher to help me. I believe that I had a major affetive disorder or somesuch. I am slowly recovering. The following is what I was told to look at a consolation. Trisha Yearwood's song;
http://mistygal.com/lovedyouanyway.html
WouldI choose the same path again? With absolute conviction.
Life may bring other pain but never that grief again.
May those who mourn be blessed and find peace.
Rose P.

Answer 2

The last funeral I attended was for a man that my mother had been seeing for over 40 years. My dad died when I was 3 so mom was a young widow and never remarried but did see this man for years. He and I had many disagreements over the years and he was abusive to me when I was younger. I learned to get along with him for mom's sake but never respected the man at all. I do not think that I went through the first 4 stages but feel that I immediately went to acceptance and know I am still there.

Answer 3

I lost my grandmother 5 years in the past. surprisingly, it did not damage. Now I understand why... have you ever been to an particularly attractive performance--a play, a live performance, or something like that? even as it truly is over, i'm not unhappy that the performance has ended. i imagine that i have been enriched via the performance, and the time that I spent there. those who're close to to us are an analogous way. it truly is a attractive performance, like a symphony. We come mutually for a lengthy time period, and our lives mutually make this attractive song. even if the performance has to end. So i'm grateful for the time, and that i'm grateful for having been priveleged to finish with the type of experienced man or woman. So i'm not unhappy. I do exactly not forget that like a number of issues, our lives and relationships are impermanent. If we understand this and take care of our kinfolk as those attractive yet ephemeral issues that are right here faster or later and lengthy gone the subsequent, then shall we be grateful and enriched via them, and we can enable flow peacefully even as lack of existence or estrangement comes. i'm not telling you now to not damage, or to suppress your thoughts. you should renowned them, and settle for them totally, and look after them. in case you damage, then damage, and educate your self compassion. Be style to your self interior the technique. in case you could seem back on the existence you and the single you love had mutually, and see the attractive song you made mutually, and heal that way, then please do. it really is how our loved ones proceed to exist.

Answer 4

A friend of mine passed away from cancer. It was quick so at least she didn't suffer much. I loved her humor. She was loved by all that truly knew her.
I am not into anything but acceptance. The 5 stages are a crock... It all depends on who the person was and how you accept what is in store for all of us. If a person has accepted Jesus as their Savor, it is easier to let them go because you know they are in a BETTER place.
Death does not discriminate, so it is something we all deal with.

Answer 5

The last funeral I attended was my dad's. He dies 3 years ago tomorrow. I believe he died of a broken heart because my mother dies 6 weeks before him. Right now, I have accepted both deaths because i know that I can't bring them back.
I could never be angry at them for passing away as they did their very best whilst here on earth and in bringing up my sister and I. We had a beautiful life with them and a part of us also dies when they left.
I also know that my parents are here each and everyday and we are still being looked after. I feel them here and this makes me think that they'll never leave us.

Until we meet again mum and dad, I love you.

Answer 6

My grandfather, he died last month. He was a great guy and he loved me for who I was. I never had to try and impress him or earn his love. He was suffering from Parkinson's disease for several years and he finally succumbed. I've been sort of a mix of sadness and anger. So I guess the anger stage. It's been really difficult for me, he was the only member of my family I genuinely cared about.

Answer 7

It was my mom. She died of esophagus cancer at 69. Once the cancer was detected, she lived less than a year. It's been four years so I've woked through every stage and can now remember her fondly as a living person and not the one I saw in the casket.

Answer 8

I lost my lil Brother Carter almost 3 years ago he was born with Hypoplastic left heart syndrome (which means he was missing the left side of his heart) and was supposed to be born dead then they said an hour then a week then he was rushed to OSF Saint Francis Hospital he had emergency surgery and came home for the first time wen he was almost 4 months old....He had a total of 3 surgeries the 3rd being the last one he had to have till he was 25...but then he got the flu that was goin around and he was flew by helipoter to OSF and was in septic shock by the first or second day...(which is pritty much a coma) the only communication to kno that he could hear u is he would cry wen u told him somethin i told him i was sry and that he would come home and watch monsters inc with me as soon as he was better but he never got better....after two weeks in the hospital on the vintalator he was just getting worse then on January 22, 2004 he died at 5.22 in the morning i was supposed to go see him that day...but then hefty ,my cuzin who just recently passed away of a heart attack, took us to our moms then my aunt teri was there waitin and she said just to wait for our mom and dad to get home (whom where divorced so we were excited we thought carter got better and was coming home) so we waited then they pulled up and came to the house with out gettin him out of the back seat so i got scared....then they came in and told me my brother alec who was 5 my sister jaida who was 4 that carter had died that morning and that a lot of the family already knew but they wanted us to hear it from them not somebody else....it was devistating i was 12 and i was VERY depressed...he was lyke my son i took care of him lyke he was mine so it killed me to see him go...but kno im not completely accepting that he is gone forever but i know that it is true i just dont lyke to think about it that way...i will see him wen i get to the other side with Jesus Christ....Carter would be 6 on the 25th of August

Answer 9

My husbands friend, I didn't know him at all. The last funeral I attended that was someone I knew was a long time ago and it was an old man that was friends with my family, he was like a grandfather, it was kinda hard but it was harder to watch his actual family grieve, I loved him and I was gonna miss him but his real family of course had a harder time with it.

Answer 10

One of my best friends passed away on June 2nd. It was after a long illness, caused by one or more medical blunders. She was a great friend---loving, kind, considerate, and generous. I think I am still in denial. I miss her a lot more than I can express in words.