I was divorced in 2002. I have a 8yr daughter and 13yr son, which I have joint and equal placement. My son doesn't want to come over anymore, which started when his mother and I let him stay by her house more because of his friends. I see him only on holidays and vacations. Now my daughter is starting to do this, which I'm not allowing. I am remarried and have a baby on the way. My wife has an 7yr boy .Well, anyways when the kids are at mothers house they run the house. They get everything because she breaks down and buys it.There is no structure there. She calls me all the time because she can't handle it. Here they have structure. I feel the kids don't want to be by me because of this, and what mom said to them about the baby. I am going to forget about them and they are not important to me anymore. I have a feeling it's working on them. I talk to them and tell them they mean the world to me. I'm scared of losing them. Is there anything I can do to prevent this? Thank you.
2006-08-16 16:23:33 · 8 answers · asked by Wayno 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I live about 20 miles from there mom's house where they go to school. I have to get them up pretty early to get them back to mom's to get ready for school. Is that any reason for me to lose my joint custody? I have them or my daughter Tues Thurs, Fri overnight.
2006-08-16 16:26:57 · update #1
If your ex is having problems with them, and WANTS you to take them more often - then make her be the "bad guy". She should have to tell them they have to come over to your place.
Is there a reason they don't like coming over? Kids can be jealous of other family that they think is "taking their place".
2006-08-16 16:58:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No reason at all to lose your joint custody. And if the ex-wife has no problem calling you for support, I think it's only fair that she actually help, not hinder your visitation. It sounds as though she's a little jealous of your situation and the kids are picking up on it anyway. You daughter especially. Your son is a different story. You remember being that age, mom and dad were so lame. All you wanted to do was see your friends and hang out. At that age, friends rate up there ahead of parents. I sympathize, it's painful, but it's the reality of having a teenager.
Don't be afraid of losing them honey, you won't. Not legally, and as long as you continue to be there for them, not emotionally either. Nobody can replace a parent....and I do mean nobody.
2006-08-16 23:34:02 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are alot of details left out. What is the relationship between mom2 and the kids like. Are they feeling second rate with a new mom and her children? When they are over, do you have one on one time with them or are they being pushed into a "family" they are not ready for or want. YOU married this lady THEY DID NOT. Maybe they want you all to themselves. Contact an attorney that specializes in Father's Rights. Your visitation should continue as stated in the divorce decree. Whether the kids want to be there or not, go get them anyway.
2006-08-16 23:47:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is very important that you stay in your children's lives. With the new baby, make sure you have one on one time for them solely. Most importantly no matter how hard it is, do not talk badly about their mother.( or your wife). Structure is good and some day your kids will reflect back on this. You sound like a wonderful father. Keep balanced- maintain your joint custody rights and respect your ex-wife's.
2006-08-16 23:34:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you able to have mature, honest and constructive communication with your ex-wife when it concerns your children or does she or you to for that matter, use the kids as a way to badger the other one, by filling their heads with B.S., in order to cause friction between them and the other parent?
About all you can do is make sure you keep the channels of communication wide open with your children, let them know they can call you anytime if they have any doubts or questions regarding how you feel towards them, and communicate to them how you love them as much as you can! Maybe also, approach them about coming to see you more often because you do love them and want to be with them more than has been the case recently, and that might require a little innovative thinking on your part to make it happen? I dont know how much "little kid" there is in you at this point in your life, but if you involve yourself more in activities that they might like, whatever it might be, i think they will be more likely to want to spend more time with you. This isn't bribing them to come be with you, its just you finding a way to keep them just as much a part of your life now as they were a part of it when you were with their mother.
2006-08-16 23:41:20 · answer #5 · answered by They_Say_Im_Cocky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant really say what she is doing is wrong she is providing for those kids,the boy who is 13 he is honestly old enough to say no if he doesnt want to see you you cant make him see you if he doesnt want to,and your daughter its ok if she doesnt want to if you force her she will end up hating and despising you for it,you may loose them for a while because of the age bracket the best thing to do is let them decide if they want to come to your house tell them that no more structured visitations and you call them twice a week if not more to see how school and the rest is going,and then if they want to come when they are ready you make it all welcome for them,the best thing you can do is not to push i have two children who for a while did not want to see there father once he backed off they now freely want to go see him,oh once the baby is in the house your daughter will love it
2006-08-16 23:32:46 · answer #6 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read some tips and articles and more on this site on how to win child custody
2006-08-16 23:28:10 · answer #7 · answered by dam me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but maybe you should petition for sole custody.
2006-08-16 23:30:17 · answer #8 · answered by secondopinion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋