We have been married for almost 4 years and we have a 2 yr old son, when we are out with our son or alone together- his entire body turns around when he sees someone he thinks is attractive. I have expressed to him that it upsets me because I know what he is thinking and he doesn't consider that my son and I are present. He use to watch porn videos and surf the net for women. It bothered me too, especially when I spend all my free time with our son. It is most upsetting when I find him looking at women who aren't even attractive, I wonder why he even looks. Does anyone have any suggestions to help me handle this?
2006-08-16 15:32:36 · 41 answers · asked by TX-Smiley 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, Ive been married nearly 30 years and I look at all the attractive women. I've done it since day one, and I told my wife she could admire all the good-looking men. We have NO problems at all.
BTW, I don't surf the net for women. I do like porn movies. No problem there too.
2006-08-16 15:38:34 · answer #1 · answered by Hermit 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's two sides of every story. You told your side but no one hears his. So no one should be passing judgement on him.
Are you a decent looking woman, if not attractive? Do you dress like a slob or not? Is the sex good?
The question should first be, why did he look? Can you answer that for him? If you can then the answers will be more appropriate to your situtation.
If you're a good wife, mother, spouse, partner, regardless how good, or bad, you look, then he must respect you. Just to be fair, give him time to show that respect, say 6mth-1yr. If he doesn't show it often then have some respect for yourself and get out.
Situation, other than what just mentioned require, all kinds of details before an appropriate answer is given.
But at the very least, the very least, he must acknowledge there's a problem and seeks to correct it. If he doesn't acknowledge it then you must get out. Regardless of the reason(s) for his roaming-eyes, you can't fix it yourself.
As for posts say it's ok to have roaming eyes. How much is ok? From 1 to 10, 1 being keep your eyes on your honey, what would be the acceptable level.
As for posts that say look at other men, it's called revenge, tit for tat. What kind of relationship do you do that in?
2006-08-16 16:28:12 · answer #2 · answered by webmail0806 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
there is that saying you can look but not touch ever hear it suck huh i know how you feel my husband used to the same thing to me but he did not search the net i also have a 2 yr old and a 5 mt old but even after having my baby i can say he did change all i did was make my self look good and did it to him i also told him how much it makes me look like he cares less about me when he is holding my hand and looking at another girl now he does look but its just a look not a stair i made my self look awesome every where we go and then guy start to look at me and even though i dont want them i do give a little smile that makes him pull me closer to him it did stop and the porn thing i dont knw how old you guys are but we are young i am only 23 and he is 26 and he went through a big fase with that then he just stoped after like i said i made him realize that hey there are other men out there who do want me i love my husband and always did and i know and knew that no matter who or what he was looking at that he always loved me and he was always laying next to me in my bed ,, really though a man loves to see their woman look good do your self up as much as possible and i swer you will see a difference.. after we have kids we tend to focous on the kid more than our looks but we do need mommy and daddy time even if once a week you make a diner for you and him and have it set up and leave a trail of rose pedals to you and there you go watch his jaw hit the floor but of course be sure you get a sitter and if you cant get one all night hey at least you have a couple of hours. Really if he is not going to spice it up then you do it i swer he will be beggin you for more
2006-08-16 18:43:22 · answer #3 · answered by ladyindispair 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Typical damn Male...It really gets up my nose. My boyfriend who is 50 does the same thing. I am sure men think with their penis not their heads. I am a very jealous person and I know how you are feeling.
I bet your husband gets angry with you when you say something about him perving on other woman.
Unfortunately, most men do this. I wish I knew what the answer is. I know when he looks at other women, I bet you feel you are not good enough for him....I have been there and done that.
Sweetie, my advice to you is to tune out when he does this...I know it is hard but try or you will go nuts.
Good Luck
Kim
2006-08-16 15:44:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know that men look at other women but it shouldn't be to a point where he's basically disrespecting you. It tells these women that it's okay for him to be disrespectful in front of you. Personally, it bothers me when a man I see with another woman looks and gawks at me and his woman is obviously bothered by it. Since you already told him how you feel, I don't know what else you can do. Try devoting a little more time with him. Maybe he's feeling ignored.
2006-08-16 16:04:01 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you've expressed to him that this behavior upsets you and he has disregarded your feelings, he is being disrespectful to you. I honestly don't think he's going to change. You could give him a dose of his own medicine and stare at good looking guys, but that really doesn't solve anything. If it was mean I'd take my child and separate from him. If he's doing that in front of you, imagine what he could be doing behind your back..
2006-08-16 16:19:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First your man is not a true playa....There are certain ways of going about things and he is disrespecting you and your son. Men look @ other women that is a fact of life he is going about it all wrong. Your have to take somthing away that he wants that is the only way that he will change. But if your leave him and get wit someone else they will do the same maybe not in that way....but they will look.
2006-08-16 15:42:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you should try to spend more of your free time with you husband. Get a babysitter. I know where you are coming from, but remember, men will be men and there is nothing we can do to change that. If you confront him you will only make the situation worse. So Bite your tongue (unless he is cheating on you) and doll yourself up, spend some quality time with him and he may not be so apt to be so impressed with other women. Good Luck! Believe me it works.
2006-08-16 15:40:10 · answer #8 · answered by chulita 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
welp girl I know how u feel my husband does the same $hit..its almost like he wants me to feel insecure or something ..SCREW him LOL I looked used to turn heads myself but u know what it dont last forever ..he looks at women thinking there hot and stuff but I was hot to back n the day lol there not gonna look that way 4ever either . men are dirty and disrespectful all we can do is deal with it or move on ..im still here but if he cheats im out!!! there gonna look there not dead thats what everybody tells me ..i can relate girl dont let him bring u down as a person .im here if u wanna talk .. why do we marry for better or worse lol dirty dogs haha take care girl
2006-08-16 15:45:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
...I hate when men do that, at least if my boyfriend does (IF) I don't even realize it. You say you already expressed your feelings to your hubby and he still does the same thing. Well...I would just say this....Have you ever thought in becoming the woman that all men turn to look at?! ...I mean , I don't know you and don't get me wrong, but what about if you dressed sexy at least once and you'll be the center of attention, I bet that would up set your husband and may be will show him a lesson.
2006-08-16 15:42:34 · answer #10 · answered by fun 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋