My ex and I were discussing Halloween, which he knows is my favorite holiday. I asked him if he was walking around with me and the kids this year, he quickly informed me that he had them Halloween weekend, yes I was disappointed.... I usually buy them really nice outfits for the holiday, but knowing he would have them I told him that he would have to supply their outfits this year. He got angry, he feels child support should pay for it, I dont. I dont think I should have to pay for them because I wont be with them. I did tell him that the only way I would help is if I was able to walk around with them, but considering he has a girlfriend (who was the one he cheated on me with) and their new baby I will not be there with her around. Whos right???
2006-08-16 15:28:44 · 10 answers · asked by southernyankee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Weve been divorced about two years and I pay for everything, he always states he doesnt have the money. The first year I paid for the Holidays and even got presents for him to give to the kids so they wouldnt be disappointed at his house. He makes more money then I do and has a two income family. I refuse to pay to make him look good in his childs eyes anymore. I not doing this to play hardball I just want him to realize theres more a child needs then just child support.
2006-08-16 15:45:30 · update #1
I have a 6 year old daughter. Not only do I pay child support, i buy her school cloths shoes and this year I will buy her school supplies. She can't be with me on Halloween So I take her to a state owned camp ground that has an October fest to include trick or treat night for the kids and I buy her the costume that I want her to wear. Her mom buys her a costume for their night out.
2006-08-16 15:40:38 · answer #1 · answered by big T 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When the kids are with him he picks up the cost of whatever they need. Does he expect you to buy their Christmas gifts from him also? Tell him it's his responsibility and if he doesn't buy them an outfit to wear that's his problem not yours. Child support is just that. Support to keep a roof over their heads and food on their plates. Not all of the extras that you have to come up with out of your own pocket.
2006-08-16 22:41:19 · answer #2 · answered by unicornfarie1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! This is tough. I totally see where you are coming from, but are you really going to let him be in charge of something he probably will defer to her anyway? Will the kids look as cute?
Do it for them, not him...and take pictures. If you feel the amount the child support you get isn't "adequate" then ask him to contribute half of the cost of costumes. He knows you are just playing hardball.
2006-08-16 22:39:26 · answer #3 · answered by chrisj70 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I pay $500.00 a month child support and my child also get &00.00 a month from my SSDI. If my wife wants new costumes for my child I tell het to take it out of the child support. Be creative this halloween and make your kids costumes. Store bought costumes are overated anyway.
2006-08-16 22:42:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes you have to bend alittle other wise your child will feel caught in the middle, I assure you, you do not want that. In your divorce decree how are the days situated. If not stated, most people have one one year and the other parent the following year. I hope you are remarried so you feel secure enough to stand your ground. Do me a favor do not feel intimidated by your x's girl friend. You are the children's mother and they love you, they can't take that away from your kids. ok.
2006-08-16 22:41:42 · answer #5 · answered by Lore 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He should pay for the costumes, if he is going to take them around. This should be in addition to the regular child support.
2006-08-16 22:36:16 · answer #6 · answered by kitten lover3 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know this seems hard but firstly you are so lucky they have a dad that wants to be there with them...
dont give them any reason to talk about you or make you look bad
it is a tough one i know
maybe this year supply the outfit especially if the children are with you prior to this day... be involded with preparing them with your children... teh time you spend with them doing that is just as meaningful for your children...
do it at least this year... keep it consistent for your children... maybe next time around he should do it htough
alwyas hold your head up high... dont let what your husband did get you down... he was the idiot that m,ade the mistake and lost you ... he has to live with this for the rest of his life not you
the choices you make will affect your children one way or another... by being strong and not letting this get to you ... you will teach your children courage and strength...
if you really really really wanted to get to him in a little way... subtle way i would... handmake your outfits WITH your children... make them over a few nights ... take photos ge them all excited.... when they go parading these outfits with there dad and stepmum they will be told how lovely the outfits are and the children will tell everyone that their mum made them... they will be reminded of YOU many times that night...
there will be many things you go through and this is only one of them... get out there and create a life of your own... you cant JUST be a mum... get on with your life and have your heart open and ready to be loved and respected by someone who truly deserves you...
2006-08-16 22:47:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
My ex and I share 50/50 custody. The way we do it is whoever's legal day it is to have the child that's the parent that pays for what ever happens on that day. That's fair.
2006-08-16 22:41:13 · answer #8 · answered by orionsgirl76 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl please, that little piece of money he is giving you will NEVER
be enough for all we do as single parents. and he cheated. let him and the new girl pay. Child support doesn't always cover the extra things children want.
2006-08-16 22:48:20 · answer #9 · answered by traveling diva 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this ,but, if he pays child support you have to pay. That's considered part of support. It does suck! But you don't have to buy them real nice outfits.If he and his Hoochie don't like it they can buy then different ones....You could always dress one like Daddy and the other as the Hoochie!!! Oops!!! That was mean.
2006-08-16 22:41:40 · answer #10 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋