He is an emotional recluse and it like beating my head against a brick wall. He will seem to listen to me at times but within a week it becomes obvious that nothing sank in. I am a big believer in honesty and communication but it is now to the point where I would rather not say anything at all because I know he doesn't hear me anyway. I am about to explode with all the pent up emotions and he acts like he could care less. I even told him it hurt deeply that I felt like I could not "talk" to my own husband.
2006-08-16 15:05:46 · 12 answers · asked by Missy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has a hard time opening himself up to anything "deep". He says he afraid to let his gaurd down...
2006-08-16 15:07:33 · update #1
I am not asking him to pour his heart out to me. He won't discuss much of anything with me. He wants to handle all the bills and decisions. He excludes me from decisions and usaually skips the discussion part and goes right to the decision by himself. I know he does this because he wants to "take care of me". What he fails to hear is that I was a single mom foe 6 years before he came along and I prefere to have a say so in all matters that affect the family. He has no idea how much it hurts when he does that because he never wants to discuss anything.
2006-08-16 15:41:38 · update #2
you can't push him to open up, I mean when he decides to open up with you then he will, pressuring someone to tell you his deep thoughts isn't a good idea, in fact it'd make it harder, let him come to you when he's ready, he'll eventually open up to you, in fact when he feels like opening up to you, he'll tell you even more stuff on his own, without you having to questioning him. Give him some time.
2006-08-16 15:12:01 · answer #1 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is your husband he should have already let his guard down, in relationships you are not suppose to hold secrets. I would try couple's counseling b/c obviously he has some type of deeply rooted emotions that is not allowing him to communicate with you. I agree with the "communication" thing b/c you honestly can not have a good relationship if their is no line of communication. But not only do I think that the counseling will help him communicate with you better, I think it will help you too. It will show you how to deal with your emotions as well as his. Good luck!
2006-08-16 15:16:38 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Hot Chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a man, not a woman. And men and women are different....VERY different. If you need this sort of thing, the place to get it is from your girlfriends, not your husband. Although a good man or woman makes some effort to accomadate the other's emotional style, it is UNREASONABLE in the extreme to expect them to change to suit you. Also, you may THINK you want this from him, but do you really? You already have a p ussy. You don't need another one.
2006-08-16 15:13:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, pushing him and badgering him probably won't increase the chances it'll sink in. My guess is, if you really love him, you're going to have to let him open up to you in his own time. It's up to you whether you want to call it being loving and patient while he works out his issues or call it being shut out by your man who is not being honest and communicative.
Go with your hunch and don't say anything.
Besides, what do you want to talk to him about that he's avoiding?
2006-08-16 15:15:26 · answer #4 · answered by mightyart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sarah, is this you. I really wasn't kidding for not talking sake, I only like to talk the difficult subjects when I have to. I already told you all this.
2006-08-16 15:13:50 · answer #5 · answered by SST 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well life is too short to bang your head against a brick wall, so your point is your answer, if he doesnt' hear you then become deaf to him too, stop talking to him and see how he feels
2006-08-16 15:11:03 · answer #6 · answered by jenny9570_liam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs to speak with a councelor or someone.
NO- You can't force him to open up.
If you love him, just be there for him.
Let him know that you are there for him.
2006-08-16 15:12:03 · answer #7 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
counseling might help~~(for him and then both of you as a couple) oftentimes if problems in marriages persist, then maybe you might need a little help or objectivity from an outsider~(a professional) I wish you well ~~
2006-08-16 15:12:45 · answer #8 · answered by darkangel1111 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Pushing" anyone won't work.
Suggest a marriage counselor, or a counselor for your husband,
or if he won't go, a counselor to help you deal with this communication issue.
2006-08-16 15:11:56 · answer #9 · answered by Ivy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is more of a power ploy (a passive-aggressive).
Perhaps you should detonate.
2006-08-16 15:16:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋