so, now my new husband wants to have a baby. i am 45.he has no kids, never been married before, so,?

Question

what do you all think? is it my wifely duty ?

Answer 1

Better hurry up and get started. Time's a-wasting!

What did you get married for? Why didn't you discuss this? (It's his fault as well as yours).

At 45, I'd suggest you toss the birth control and see what happens. If it was meant to happen, it was meant to happen in the next year or so. Unless you absolutely hate kids...

We know what he wants. What do you want - yes, maybe, perhaps, maybe not, or "no way Jose"?

Answer 2

This is not part of your wifely duties. This is a big part of both of your lives. First, are you willing to carry this baby for 9 months? Is he willing to give you all the help and support you need in case things don't go smoothly? Have you discussed who will care for this baby and what about work. Have you both considered the expenses and will they cause a strain on your new marriage? Will there be jealousy from your new husband because you need to spend so much time with a newborn? How about baby-sitters, and medical plans and so many other things. These are just a few of the things that should be discussed before baby, and then for both of you to decide.

Answer 3

Of course it's not a wifely duty. You could say that it is a husbandly duty not to pressure you. That sounds silly. Many women are having babies at your age today. If it's something you want then I hope you are all happy. But, it doesn't sound like it. Did you two forget to discuss this very important topic before you married? I'm getting the idea that it was discussed and you agreed so if you did then shame on you if you are wanting to back out now. Did you think he would change his mind? I could be way off here. If I am I apologize. God bless you both.

Answer 4

I think that this is something that would have been best discussed before the wedding. I'd hate to think of someone having kids out of a sense of it being her "wifely duty." If you don't have the itch for kids yourself, or if you have concerns about your age, then you should consider the possibility that it wouldn't be fair to the baby. But if you too genuinely want a baby and are in good health, then I wouldn't let age be the deciding factor in this case. My folks were 41 & 51 and I think they liked having me!

Answer 5

Do you have any children?

Do you want to have a/another child?

Since you're 45 you may have trouble conceiving naturally. So the two of you may want to talk about alternate ways such as adoption and fertility drugs...

It's not your wifely duty to do anything you don't want to do. If you don't want a child then you shouldn't be forced to have one...This is something you should have discussed before you married.

Answer 6

I think no offense but your too old. Think of what life will be like in 18 years. At your age there are so many more things that can happen to the baby when your an older parent. Down Syndrome is just one. But if you and your husband decide together to have a baby remember it will be considered high risk and you may be spending the next nine mo in bed or at the NICU

Answer 7

DONT DO IT! you are past the appropriate age. if you got pregnant now, you wouldnt have a baby until you were 46. When your child got to be 18 you would be 64 and when your child was 24 you would be 70. That is no good. . . motherhood is for younger people. . . your husband is **** out of luck i say. You don't want that responsibility now, you should be planning retirement for later, not another financial responsibility. Talk some sense into your husband. . . good luck

Answer 8

Have him do some part time child care - maybe volunteer work - for awhile. Something that will immerse him in the environment of the very very young and not just for an hour each day, but a serious involvement so he can get a good exposure to the demands of children. Then maybe he'd like to have a puppy instead.

Answer 9

OH Hell No Girlfriend. I am 39 and just got married for the second time last year, No way!!! Get him a dog. No where in your vows did it say you had to have a baby with him. Adopt, something. Nothing on you, but who wants to raise a child at the time of your life when you are suppose to enjoy life to the fullest.

Good luck.

Answer 10

If it's only a matter of pregnancy (and yes, 45 is risky for a pregnancy), maybe you could try fostering kids.

If it's just that you don't want kids (which is perfectly ok) then I have to agree with the first answerer that, apparently you forgot to discuss this BEFORE you got married.