What would you do if you found cigarettes in your 14year old's room?

Question

My mom said you need to clean your room, i said ok and she said i found a cigarette butt in your floor, i did not say anything and nether did she. Nothing. just so you know it was not even mine, i dont like them *ew* it was a friends. Should i be scared.....i mean i can't be geting off that easy....

Answer 1

Each and every time one of my kids turned teenager I had to reiterate the "talk to me speech".
When you become a teenager there's a whole lot of things going on. Your physiology is changing, your social environment is changing, your worldview is changing, and amidst all this change that you see happening to yourself, the thing that doesn't seem to change is Mom and Dad.
It's like they are just not aware of what's REALLY going on.
Let me clue you in, we do know!
Now is the time to really start talking with your parents about EVERYTHING!!! Don't be scared! Talk to you parents. Ask questions! If they are reluctant at first BE PERSISTENT!! Your parents really do love you and really want what's best for you.
But remember, you're 14 for the first and only time! Even if you have older siblings, your being 14 is a unique adventure for them.
My point is, don't cutoff the two-way communication. And show your parents that you’re ready for "the next level", by being open, honest, and attentive.
As for the cigarette butt, tell your friends that cigarettes are FORBIDDEN in your house, PERIOD! That should take care of future problems, and talk to your mom, tell her, "yeah, some of my friends smoke cigarettes, but I don't!"
If she says that "your friends shouldn't be smoking cigarettes and if they do you shouldn't be friends with them" then realize what she's doing is attempting to protect you from the dangers of cigarette smoking. And not just the physical dangers. Don't argue with her, TALK to her. Explain that you understand the dangers and would never smoke don't leave out the fact that you know it's illegal for a 14-year old to have cigarettes.
Finally, think long and hard about the kind of future you are setting for yourself. Those "friends" who would come to your house and leave a cigarette butt on your floor, are at the very best, careless and insensitive. Ask yourself, is that really a person you want to call a friend?

Answer 2

You may not be in trouble. If you are a smoker another person can tell. A cigarette butt on the floor does not a smoker make.

When you smoke, your clothes smell like smoke, your hair smells like smoke, your breath stinks even through the mints. If you smoke another person, especially a non-smoker, can tell.

That being said, if you are telling the truth and you don't smoke then your parents can tell.

I hope they give you the benefit of the doubt, and if they do and you really do smoke, take advantage of the break and quit while you are ahead.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

She is waiting for an explanation from you about how the cigarette butt got there.Since you kept silent, this looks like you are trying to hide something.

Answer 4

one be honest with them and take the time to listen to what the 14 year old has to say. outright telling them no may make them continue to smoke if they already are. ask if they are doing this because all their friends are or are they doing it to experiment. then give honest reasons why they should not. but most important listen not only with your ears but to the whole body language to see what they are saying.

Answer 5

this is your chance to score points with mom. tell her that you are sorry she found that but you want to be honest with her. that it is not yours that you know how cigarretts are harmful to one' health, they are gross and that you are not into it. If you mother is against smoking, you messed up by allowing a friend to smoke in the house you need to apologize to her. If your mother knows you respect her feelings and rules, she will be more likely to respect your feelings or privacy too. (Otherwise, dont be surprised if she starts going through your stuff to find out more info. that you are not sharing with her.)

Answer 6

Well, if it wasn't my son's then I would make him tell me who's it was and call their parents. Then my son would be grounded for letting another kid smoke a cig in the house. And I'm not talking a week or so. He was grounded last year for a month and a half for not doing HW; so just imagine how much he would be grounded for a cig. If he wouldn't tell me who's it was then I would assume it was his and make him smoke the whole pack that night. And then ground him.

Answer 7

You need to talk to your mom about it, sweetie. Clear the air with her. She may be upset that you allowed your friend to smoke in your room, and may even suspect you of smoking, but tell her your feelings and be honest with her.
Good luck.

Answer 8

Personally, i think everyone else that have posted in this question are being mean. I would ask the child where it came from, and respect their answer. I have learned that trust is the basis of any relationships at all.

Answer 9

no u shouldnt be scared since it wasnt even yours..if u show fear then she's gonna know that ur guilty and then she'll think its yours..just try and tell her that it wasnt yours, that it was a friends and that u wouldn't lie about something like this..i know it sounds easy but u know how things r wit parents

Answer 10

if it was my daughter i would give her good talking to pointless shouting doesn't get u any ware,the best way i think is if it wasn't u but ur friend is to make sure they don't light up in the house @ all.if it was my daughter or her friend i would smell the smoke any way.