Accept and Give up?

Question

She had failed marriages and relationships. They brought nothing but emotional and physical sufferings and stress. And is too scared and tired to get involved again.

As a human and weaker sex, still needs companionship and intimate satisfaction.

And has found companionship, care and intimate satisfaction in a female to female relationship. Since then life has changed and being relaxed and comfortable as before and found a new meaning to life.

She has been asked to commit in a long termed lesbian relationship. Being in her middle ages, its the best thing ever happened to her but confused.

Question is, is it right to give up hope of a normal relationships and accept being a lesbian?

Kind souls out there with such experience or opnions , please help.

Answer 1

This is a difficult subject to answer but before i do that I would like the questioner to have a very open mind.

1) If she is a lesbien, No Would be my answer. She is someone whom happens to be able to have sex with both men and women and that does not make her in anyway a psychological lesbien.

A real lesbien are person with a strict mindset and preference for nothing but woman. For you, by the time you are able to put up this question, you are never one.

2) It is your failed marriages and relationship that has put you in this stage. Perhaps for the partner too. few things happens here :-

2a) It is easier for woman to comfort another woman than a man to comfort another man. see
2b) because of this broken relationships, you have not seek the comfort of another man but a woman or best friend or etc but female companion.
2c) there is always a high tendency for the comforter to falls for the person that she is comforting and vice versa due to the sharing of emotional feeling and sentiments.
2d) sex sometimes becomes part of therapy in comforting. (hence that is why many psychologist sleeps with their patients)

Getting into a long term lesbien relationship is as good as getting into another relationship with another man isn't it. the degree and nature are the same. Consider this :-

1) there would be a sense of ownership. You are mind. And it is from ownership that forms desire and jealousy.
2) yes, it might sounds like a good idea that woman to woman living together might be easier. In reality. NO. When 2 person is put on the same roof, it becomes worst. It is easier for a woman to accept another man's behaviour when living under the same roof that he throws his socks around, does not cap the toothpaste properly etc but for another woman to tolerate another woman............would be worst. Now we are not going to say that it is one day.,....one week but imaging 365 days a year.

3) so a commitment to a relationship will also means that the moment you walk out of a house, there would be more chance for you to have an affair isn't it. consider this, what is the likely chance for a woman to see another handsome man at her office, his long p>>>>> or naked torso?????? but what would be the chances of seeing another sexy woman's sex, butt, breast, etc when both happens to be in the same office ??????

so does this means that from Lesbien of 2 are we going to have soon to be thru long term recruitment process a fraternity of lesbo????

Last but not least here. Like I said that sex is only part of the affairs that develop due to our animal instinct in the course of our outbreak of emotions during the process of comforting and social reinforcement between each other. but then it is not part of you and also neither of hers.

I guess, the issue here is not just on whether the relationship should be a committed one where both shall swear under oats. But then it should be one that if it happens togther, fine but not, then one should be at a situation where both are free to have sexual relation with another man or another guy. and since both parties has already taken a liberal view of sex, then there should be no level of commitment here but acceptance and understanding.

Answer 2

you can't give up love, I mean everyone needs it, she may give up the normal relationships for now, because she's confused. she needs to take some time off of relationships, and not get into any, she needs to find herself and be herself in order to take on relationships again. Because when you feel lost, you can never have a good relationship with anyone, it just won't work. She has to know what she wants and need in a relationship then go out to find what she want. Even if she gives up normal relationship for being a lesbian, she's still going to fail it it, because from the sounds of it, she probably has relationships one after another and had no breaks in between. So, be single for awhile and take some time off, think things through, when ready to get into a relationship then go for it.

Answer 3

Anyone is entitled to their own opinion, to their own life, and live that life as they please. Anyone can have their preferences and should not be judged on them, weather it is gay, lesbian, interracial, or straight--none of us has the right to judge another person based on their looks, ethnicity, sexual preference etc. It is and always should be the person who counts.

As far as failed marriages and relationships go: I have to say that it is pretty important for us adults to look at our childhood to understand what we grew up with and therefore got comfortable with. I, for example, grew up in a dysfunctional family where my mom had a real bad mouth and my dad beat her up. I swore myself as a child that I would never have a man who hits me, but I did exactly that: I married a guy who hit me--it took a lot of honesty, counseling, and understanding of self to see that this was the type of man I came to believe as the right type of man and unconsciously I had picked this type of man. Once I knew what was going on I was consciously able to change that(in time)and when I got married a second time it did not fail, for there was no abuse(he died). So that much for the relationship part that always seems to fail. As far as having hope for a normal relationship: what is normal? We really cannot define that any longer, can we? What's normal for you is not necessarily normal for me and so forth. If you mean normal by standards of society---I do not know if you can go back and all, but I would say that you very well may be able to do so if you are able to work out your difficulties with yourself. A good counselor might be able to help you with that. The bottom line though is, that you have to determine for yourself if you are happy with yourself and your current situation. I have met lesbian couples whom I admire because their relationships seem to be a lot more stable than most of these so called normal(heterosexual)relationships....Good Luck...

Answer 4

not if she is confusing companionship with a lesbian relationship is she a lesbian if she isnt then the friend shouldnt be pursuing her if she depressed and insecure about finding true love again i think thats taking advantage of someone in their time of need its okay to be a friend but just a friend.she shouldnt give up he's out there if thats what she really wants

Answer 5

Only she can answer this for herself. Is she in love? Is she in a loving and caring environment that encourages and nurtures? Is she willing to deal with the labels of society with acceptance? Is she happy with the person she's with? Are *they* happy together as a couple?

This is a tough decision & many will support, while others will condemn. In the end though, no one can make this decision for another. May she find peace, love, and happiness.

Answer 6

Michael Jordan's citation reminds of a Gujarati poet nickname, "Kalaapi", a prince of a small state of Saurashtra, who had written you're pardoned for failing to shoot the objective, yet no longer for failing to attempt for it. In Gujarati, the words are "Nisaan chuk maaf, nahi maaf nichu nisaan".

Answer 7

She has to do whatever she feels comfortable with.
Male/Female. That's her decision to make.
She needs to decide what is going to bring her love and happiness.

Answer 8

do whatever your heart desires but never giving up onna normal relationship.

dont worry, there's always a turning poin to normal relationship. age is a worry but if you doing it your way and liking it, do it and never regreting it.

Answer 9

Listen. She shouldn't care what other people think about her choices. She should go for whatever makes her happy.

Answer 10

why not i guess.

if your happy then who cares what we think.

do yur thing you gay lesbo, you