I have been divorced 4 a year & just recently left my abusive ex. Can someone explain y i kept going back?

Question

Hes a real jackass!! Hes killed my self esteem!

Answer 1

Its a good thing that you've left him. You kept coming back because once everything seemed allright. Maybe, the memories you had together and the love you once had for him made you do the things you don't want to do. Its about time you should tell yourself to start a fresh new life and that he's HISTORY. Go find someone out there who'd love and care for you. Someone much better than he is.

Answer 2

You are the beaten dog, coming back for more because it is predictable, and "being out there alone" is an uncertainty. Honey, all of us who have divorced a jerk of a husband have gone thu that. Advise: Get out. Then, if you do not have a drop dead killer smile, see the best cosmetic dentist in your area, if you need to loose some weight, do it, spend some buckos on your self, get some great outfits, get your hair done, and make up skills honed......have a super photo taken and put up a personal ad on Yahoo Personals and Match.com. I met my husband that way, and our marriage lasted until he drank himself into oblivian, and was then killed. (He was a great guy, we had a wonderful time when he was sober -- the first 13 years were a dream -- I was the happiest lady on the planet.) I met the man I am dating now thru Yahoo. The world is filled with lovely people --- and a few real crazies, just like those you will find in church. Meet in public places, do back ground checks and all the rest of it. Good luck, sweetie -- it won't be easy, but it isn't easy for the guys either......

Answer 3

Low self esteem. Perhaps you feel you can't find anyone else. Not attractive to anyone else, etc.
From experience, let me tell you, Stay out.!!!!!!
My 1st husband died a few years ago. I started dating, fell in love with this man and stayed with him3 long, horrible years. Oh, the I love you's, we're getting married the end of the year [2005].
I listened, prayed, hoped, wished.... Then beyond his obvious cheating that I tried overlooking, he decided to hit, and choke me one night.
Hey, I got out and never looked back. he still calls periodically.
I hang up unless he calls from an unknown number.
I was blessed to have found a widower. We married last July.
I am so very happy and blessed.
Love never means extended pain of any kind. Especially at the hands of another human being.
I'm sure you still love your ex. Until you can get him out of your heart and know that your worth is more than he's entiled you- You will keep going back, to have to let it go and resume your life to it's fullest. Good luck.

Answer 4

You are codependent and have an extremely love self-worth.
Get help fast. If you don't, you will be beaten up (literally and figeratively) for the rest of your life.
First you have to admit that you are codependent and that you dislike yourself.
A person who has high esteem and self respect won't allow themselves to be subjected to any form of abuse.
I know...I've been there myself.
By the way...you are a part of the problem because you keep letting him be a jack *** to you.
Stop being part of the problem and be the solution: move on. You are worthy of someone who can truly love you.
But, please...get help.
He hasn't ruined your self esteem...
YOU HAVE. Take ownership and stop the cycle.

Answer 5

You answered you own question. Contact your local domestic violence/spousal abuse center and ask when they have support group. These people will help you to find your self esteem so you won't have to live like this anymore. I stayed in that situation for 21 years, now gone over 2. It was so hard to leave, cuz even thought it sucked, it was what I knew. Life can be so good and you deserve so much better. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 6

nobody can tell you why you keep going back but yourself and you really answered your own question he killed your self esteem so you think you have too but you don't try to get your self together get the right help and move on because us as women don't and should not have to go through nothing like that we deserve better YOU deserve better good luck and remember to keep your head up!

Answer 7

You know you have esteem issues. However, what you might not recognize is that familiarity is better to some than the unknown. It is time to put that sad time behind you and move into the future with your head held high. Do not succumb to another relationship right away. You need some room to breathe, grow, and learn to know your value.

Answer 8

You need counseling because he has made you love him more than you love yourself. You said so yourself that he as killed your self esteem. Good for you for leaving. Now the hard part is to stay gone.

Answer 9

Been there done it.. Please, pray for god to help you though it. Don't go back.. It don't get any better. If i had it to over again. I would have done it sooner. He has you thinking ., You can't get better. They, put you down. And, have the nerve, to blame you. When they hit you. If you have kids. Don't stay for them.. It hurts them more. To see the abuse. They think it is normal. And, It isn't at all. There are some men out there. That will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. I have been there. God bless you. And be with you. I prayed for you.

Answer 10

Because you have low self esteem. He had you convinced that no one would want you but him and he liked it that way. You said yourself that he killed your self esteem. Start working on you and telling yourself that you don't need him in your life.