If you had been 18 months with a guy and over that time?

Question

you had bought him several thoughtful little gifts birthday, Easter or just cos you thought he would like as in a book etc. In this time he has never bought any for you should I walk away.
Also I earn a lot more that he does and more often than not pay more than my share. Don't mind going Dutch but feel the balance not even.
He often talks of former girlfriends ..I have told him I don't want to hear but he seems not to hear me.
Now for the worst bit......thing is I do love him. Help

Answer 1

If you are in love, then you have to consider the fact that he may not have the money to recipricate the gifts. However, if that's the case, I have to ask if he's done anything else special when it came to your birthday, holidays, etc. If he hasn't, then I'd question his intentions. You also said he doesn't seem to listen to you either and often talks of other girlfriends. Honey, that is a huge red flag he is waving at you. Use it as your warning sign. Guys that are in a serious relationship don't talk about their other girlfriends and they listen to you once in awhile. Just ask the guys here, even they can tell you this.

Why not try and give him a test. Stop taking him places and stop buying him things. If he still comes around, then maybe work on better communication skills. IF he doesn't come around or seems to come up with excuse after excuse for not seeing you, then you know he was just playing you to see what he could get. I know that hurts to hear, but people fall victim to it all the time.

And if it is the latter of the two, be glad you found out now. You'll move on and be that much wiser for the next guy. You know what they say, what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.

Answer 2

First of all. Stop buying him things just because. For now, leave it for birthdays and Christmas if even that since he doesn't seem to appreciate it.

Secondly, sit him down and talk about your finances. Even though you don't share a bank account, you still have "joint" finances. If he's not willing to. Then, only do things with him that you can both afford. There's no reason for you to always be shelling out more cash just because he makes less. Save your money and get yourself something you've always wanted.

Next time he starts talking about a former girlfriend, tell him again that you don't want to hear it. If he still doesn't listen, I would give him a taste of his own medicine. Bring up an old boyfriend during a conversation.

Hopefully this will be enough to make him realize that you're happy with the way things are and he'll start changing.

Give it a little bit of time. If he doesn't improve, sit down with him and tell him that it doesn't seem like he's in this relationship 50/50 and that you can't keep on pulling his weight. Give him an ultimatum. If he doesn't change, you'll walk. If he seriously cares about you, it should hopefully be enough to get him to smarten up. If he's not willing to, he needs to grow up and he's not worth your time.

Answer 3

Yep I would dump him...unless if you like bring home the bread. It won't change and most likely it will get worst....so figure out what you want out of a guy and go from there. There's nothing wrong with a "stay at home dad" and mom who brings home the bacon, but if that's not for you then you need to decide quickly because this guy will not change. I wouldn't try to either.....it will only lead to more disappointment.

I'm speaking from experience...i've had my fair share of broke, broke..uuhh's. And quite frankly I'm sick to death of it. At one time it made me feel good now that i'm looking to settle down I want a dude that can provide for the family...not the other way around.

Answer 4

he should do things for you regardless if its and expensive gift or not as long as its from the heart you shouldnt mind ive had that same problem before he thought he had to either do it big or do nothing at all and the bottom line was that all i wanted was a card or a flower send me a cookie to my job that says i love you little things i think he's being inconciderate to your feelings ask him why he doesnt do things for you if he says its cause he dont think he should then you have to ask yourself do you love him enough to stay in a 80% to 20% romance or do you want to find someone who is 50/50.

Answer 5

Seems like now-a-day men try to live off of women. It sounds like he is using you and doesn't really care about you or your feelings. Okay, he can't afford alot of stuff, but he could at least respect your wishes and keep his BIG TRAP shut about his ex-girlfriends. If you feel bad all the time, he is not the one for you! Dump him! You can do better! Sounds like he wants to squeeze you dry and make you jealous! RUN!

Answer 6

Sugar mama rings a bell... maybe this gent likes to be pampered by his ladies. It's not a bad thing, women have being using their charms for ages doing the same thing.

If you are okay with it, and don't feel it's straining your bank account, why not pamper the one you love? BUT- if he never shows other signs of caring for you, then I would dump him.

Answer 7

Amazing question-my daughter had a similar situation, her b/f didnt work, and she loves to shop and always thought of him and bought him something, eventually she realized that even tho shoe loved him, she needed to move on-and found someone who loved her back and not expect gifts, and tho even tho he also didnt work, alwayz surprised her by wanting to spend time together just being together, hope this helps

Answer 8

Sound like he is a freeloader... if you wanna stay with him..stop buyin ghim stuffs to even the field. let see if he starts complaining about that or not..if he does..well, he is living off of you..if he doens't that great. no waste of your money and still with someone you love.

Answer 9

There is plenty of fish in the sea. Go catch one that will respect your opinion and not talk about his xg-friends. you deserve better than that, especially for being and dealing with his bullshit for 18 months.

Answer 10

completely STOP spending money on him and don't give him that much attention anymore. when he notices he's not getting that kind of attention from you, he'll miss you so bad and come crawling back to you. in the meantime, make yourself as hot as you possibly can so the next time he sees you he'll be drooling all over himself.