we're both 30..young professional and just moved in with each other 4 months ago. we haven't decided when to get married, but we think that we should starting trying for a child because we are getting older. what do you think?
2006-08-16 11:52:01 · 14 answers · asked by isobel 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Since you've been together for quite some time, you most likely have had some discussions about parenthood. If not, then you should have if you are considering such a big step!!
I don't necessarily feel that just because you aren't married, you shouldn't have a child. But 30 isn't all that old. What matters is that you and he need to talk in depth about all your hopes, expectations, values, beliefs, and how you feel about parenting issues in general and in particular. You don't want there to be any surprises and trust me, there aren't always "meetings of the mind" in this situation!
Wait awhile. You've only been living together for 4 months. Even though you've been together for a long time, moving in together may bring some surprises. Don't rush.
Prepare yourselves first by doing a lot of talking, sharing ideas and thoughts, and being really clear on each other's thoughts.
Good luck!
2006-08-16 12:09:59 · answer #1 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! If you can't commit to being married why would you think that committing yourself to a child would be a good thing? Be responsible and provide a proper environment for the child to be born into. Besides if you have a baby before you get married, people will always say the baby is the only reason for the marriage.
2006-08-16 19:03:14 · answer #2 · answered by aphrodite_ak 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can't decide on marriage after 9 years together, you certainly are not mature enough to bring a baby into the world. Children need stability. You can't provide that if you are so unsure of yourselves that you can't commit to being married. Once you do get married, then the two of you need to make the decisions, not a bunch of strangers on YA,
2006-08-16 19:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by Maple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what u think is right in your heart and mind. Think of the baby first. If you have to ask the question if you should be trying for a baby to people that you don't even know.. then I think you have doubts in your mind. Figure it out in your heart and mind, then go from there.
2006-08-16 19:43:33 · answer #4 · answered by Mommy2Two!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's your decision, honey. If the two of you feel ready, go for it. If you don't, wait. it's that simple. I understand that you both realise time is moving on, but if you're meant to have a child, it will happen.
Good luck to both of you.
2006-08-16 18:58:37 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you cant make up your mind with marriage how will you choose how to raise your kids and stuff.
i mean think of the child dont be selfish.
i kno i would h8 2 liv with undecided parents.
olus what kind of example is that????????!!!!???!!??!?!
no but seriosly get married first. you should hv been married already i dont think it takes 9 yrs to decide whether u r gonna marry or not.
come on...get real
2006-08-16 19:02:53 · answer #6 · answered by me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
been together 9 years and only moved in together 4 months ago. id wait longer, see how living together goes
2006-08-16 19:10:25 · answer #7 · answered by scarlet_bat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love him enough to share that wonderful life of a child together then i say go ahead an start your little family and live a happy life all together
2006-08-16 21:00:46 · answer #8 · answered by jolieblonde82 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a terrible reason to have a child.
You both need to sit down and discuss this trhough.
If you are content with your reasons, then you may procees
2006-08-16 19:10:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're both mature adults and whatever you decide is appropriate for you should be fine with everyone else, too.
2006-08-16 19:33:08 · answer #10 · answered by mockingbird 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋