I value that he has told me about it as he does not normally talk about his problems with me. He is the kind of guy that he would rather go and watch a match to forget his problem but today he has opened up to me about it. I would like to think that it's because he sees me as someone important? What's the best way to support him? One way I supported him today was that I did not mention to him that I have been feeling upset about him spending more of his free time with his friend than with me. I did not think it was the right time to talk that.
2006-08-16 10:16:06 · 12 answers · asked by violet b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
ME THINKS HES GAY
2006-08-16 10:19:40 · answer #1 · answered by injection_od 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... Yes, it's a good sign that he is making himself vulnerable to you and sharing part of his life with you, a part where he even feels weak or not in control.
That's a big step for some men, since it runs against the grain.
So, yes, you are important to him at some level.
The best way to support him is to let him talk about what's wrong, ask general questions that will help him open more, and don't judge him or try to fix the problem for him unless he asks for advice.
I think your not bringing up your feelings about him spending more time with his friend than you WAS a way to support him when he's currently stressed. You definitely made a sacrifice for him.
I like the last line, though, where you say it wasn't the right time to talk about it... implying that there IS a right time eventually.
Many women seem to give continuously, without addressing their own problems in the relationship, just to be kind to the men. They might never bring up their own disappointment... not until they're angry and stressed about it, and then things don't go well.
Your bf will always have some problems, sometimes more than others; and at some point you do need to discuss things that are bothering you. You just need to find a good time.
You will both probably disagree about how much time he should be spending with you. Still, I encourage you to keep feeling out when a good time is to approach him about it, if the pattern persists; and not to just ignore it if it's bothering you.
Good luck, I hope things only get better. :)
2006-08-16 10:26:55 · answer #2 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's sweet, I don't know how long you've been with him but it sounds as though he's starting to trust you enough to open up to you. I would treat that as a compliment and support him by continuing to be there to listen and not judge. Don't push him to talk if he doesn't want to but tell him you're there if he needs you, after all I'm sure you hope he'll be there for you one day when you need him so try telling him that. Try to be tactful about the issue with his friend, maybe he finds it easier to talk to them because he doesn't want to burden you or seem like a failure in front of you, he has his macho image to uphold. Be strong and supportive, surround yourself with your own friends and in time he'll see that you're sticking by him and he'll trust you more and more (hopefully).
Good luck and don't expect too much too soon. Apart from anything else make sure you're happy - that's the most important thing.
2006-08-16 10:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by Katie D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about this. He probably opened up b/c he's under a lot of stress and he thinks that you might leave him b/c he spends too much time with his friends.
I think you should talk to him about spending more time with you. Just try to be supportive and listen, but don't let him cut you out or you might as well find another boyfriend.
2006-08-16 10:20:23 · answer #4 · answered by Corn_Flake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are typically objective orientated so to get him to talk do something with him, e.g. a sport, a measurable task like tidying out the garage/ shed - this distraction technique usually reserved for children and drunks will help open him up to speak about his worries. He is self therapy's by going out with friends, you are his best friend so go out with his but remember to include a task in this. I am confident this will work a treat.
2006-08-16 11:02:59 · answer #5 · answered by northcarrlight 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe hes beginning to trust you more. And you did the right thing about not dumping things on him right now. The only thing you need to do is support him and promise to stand behind with with whatever decisions he makes.
2006-08-16 10:23:02 · answer #6 · answered by bree30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a little curious and now I would like to know what was his problem at work?
2006-08-16 11:44:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him a break maybe he can talk to them where he couldn't talk to you he didn't want to uset you or bother you with his troubles just hold him and tell him your there for him when he needs to talk to someone
2006-08-16 10:21:56 · answer #8 · answered by Billie G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go get a life
2006-08-16 10:21:11 · answer #9 · answered by sheraine b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a good listener.
2006-08-16 10:20:45 · answer #10 · answered by Clogged-Up 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats the prob?
2006-08-16 10:24:01 · answer #11 · answered by joe e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋